Chasing the Elusive Dream
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Visitor in the Night"A southern couple's journey in the 60's,70's & 80'
39 total reviews
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
This story was a good read, with spell-binding interest.
"Mindy," or Sarah, seemed to have more than teenage emotions of being bored att home.
She must not have been hallucinating as she was dressed for the cold.
Your counseling young peole to appreciate their homes and family is timely.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2013
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This story was a good read, with spell-binding interest.
"Mindy," or Sarah, seemed to have more than teenage emotions of being bored att home.
She must not have been hallucinating as she was dressed for the cold.
Your counseling young peole to appreciate their homes and family is timely.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. I'm not sure what lay behind her desire to run away. She was only fourteen. She was a juvenile diabetic and been sick a lot but that doesn't explain it. Young teenage girls tend to be rebellious but there could have been something bad going on at home.
Beth
Comment from Samuel Dickens
This one seized my attention right away and pulled me in. Young girls like that seem to be all too common, and I wish I knew why. Often, they're not so lucky as Sarah.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2013
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This one seized my attention right away and pulled me in. Young girls like that seem to be all too common, and I wish I knew why. Often, they're not so lucky as Sarah.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and comments Samuel. They have various reasons, I'm sure. My own daughter used to threaten to leave because she didn't like being scolded about some of the stuff she pulled as a teenager. She had a good life and my husband and I loved her. By the time she was seventeen, she outgrown the desire to run away. Now she has her own problems with a teenage son. She says it Karma. LOL
Beth
Comment from Green Lake Girl
You told this story very well. To know this is a true story is sad. I'm sure there were problems at home. The father's brief description told volumes. I quickly scrolled down to the author's notes to see what the year might be. Very believable for the time. Didn't like the idea she went off with a truck driver.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2013
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You told this story very well. To know this is a true story is sad. I'm sure there were problems at home. The father's brief description told volumes. I quickly scrolled down to the author's notes to see what the year might be. Very believable for the time. Didn't like the idea she went off with a truck driver.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. I don't know the details of what might have happened on the ride she took to Kentucky. She didn't run away again so I think she may have learned home is better then the road. I hope nothing horrible was happening at home that made her run away. Her father just didn't seem like a very friendly man.
Comment from humpwhistle
Good story, Beth. Your suspicions about the father
are troubling. I wonder if the opening encounter with the preacher could be edited a bit. Just a thought.
Peace, Lee
Hearing her parent's voices, the girl came out with tears streaming down her face. Her mother, also in tears, ran to her and embraced her. Her father patted her shoulder and looked uncomfortable. He had a hard look about him that made me wonder if he might have been her reason for leaving. -- A lot of 'her's in this little paragraph, Beth.
Consider restructuring.
if one has a roof over their head -- 'one' is singular, 'their' is plural.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2013
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Good story, Beth. Your suspicions about the father
are troubling. I wonder if the opening encounter with the preacher could be edited a bit. Just a thought.
Peace, Lee
Hearing her parent's voices, the girl came out with tears streaming down her face. Her mother, also in tears, ran to her and embraced her. Her father patted her shoulder and looked uncomfortable. He had a hard look about him that made me wonder if he might have been her reason for leaving. -- A lot of 'her's in this little paragraph, Beth.
Consider restructuring.
if one has a roof over their head -- 'one' is singular, 'their' is plural.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2013
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Thank you, Lee. Your suggestions always make a lot of sense to me, and I've attempted to make the corrections. I appreciate your help and that you are continuing to read.
Beth
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Wow, what a story. If a teenager runs away from home, there MUST be something wrong in that home. It has to be the parents in some way. Too bad she had to go back there. I hope she got past whatever the traumas were.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2013
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Wow, what a story. If a teenager runs away from home, there MUST be something wrong in that home. It has to be the parents in some way. Too bad she had to go back there. I hope she got past whatever the traumas were.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2013
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Thank you for the reveiw. I didn't ever get to know the family but my sister-in-law was friends with the mother. She seemed to think the mother really cared about the girl. Her thought was that Sarah had been spoiled because she was a juvenile diabetic. She didn't like parental authority. But there might have been more going on than that.
Beth
Comment from Evelyn Fort Stewart
Kids can sure put parents through some very traumatic experiences. Miss Evelyn and I are tag teaming a bit tonight. Very good piece. god loves you and so do we.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2013
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Kids can sure put parents through some very traumatic experiences. Miss Evelyn and I are tag teaming a bit tonight. Very good piece. god loves you and so do we.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and the nice comments. Tell Evelyn she is in my prayers and I hope she'll soon be up and about.
Beth
Comment from Belinda
I feel sorry for Sarah. Things like this happen in films, and I'm glad she learned her lesson. I bet this is an unforgettable experience for you and your family, and I like the way you told it... :)
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2013
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I feel sorry for Sarah. Things like this happen in films, and I'm glad she learned her lesson. I bet this is an unforgettable experience for you and your family, and I like the way you told it... :)
Comment Written 12-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2013
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Thank you Belinda. Thanks for the review and comments. I felt sorry for Sarah too. She never came back to my house after that one time. I just hoped her home life wasn't so bad she needed to be away. I know her mother loved her and I hope her father did.
Betj
Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens
And if Sarah were a runaway in today's culture of rampant kidnapping, pedophilia and sex trafficking she might have never made it to Kentucky. Good job on writing this experience. I pray daily for children like Sarah. Carolyn
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2013
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And if Sarah were a runaway in today's culture of rampant kidnapping, pedophilia and sex trafficking she might have never made it to Kentucky. Good job on writing this experience. I pray daily for children like Sarah. Carolyn
Comment Written 12-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2013
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Thank you for the reviewa and comments Carolyn. Even back then, it was dangerous to hitchhike. Today it is so much worse. Teens have problems at home and think it can't be worse but it can. I'm glad she got back home safely.
Beth
Comment from AprilShower
Good story, Beth. Guess this one way to get acquainted with your neighbors. It's a good thing this pastor stopped by. This is well written, Beth. I notice a very small typing error.
"That so good," she said.
Suggest:
"That's so good," she said.
April :o)
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2013
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Good story, Beth. Guess this one way to get acquainted with your neighbors. It's a good thing this pastor stopped by. This is well written, Beth. I notice a very small typing error.
"That so good," she said.
Suggest:
"That's so good," she said.
April :o)
Comment Written 12-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2013
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Thank you, April, I appreciate the review and also thanks for catching the spag.
Beth
Comment from Spitfire
She was one lucky girl to have been found safe and sound both days. You subtly suggest that Daddy could be the cause. This chapter again shows your compassion and intelligence too --calling the pastor-- a wise decision.
This is well-written and kept my interest from beginning to end.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2013
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She was one lucky girl to have been found safe and sound both days. You subtly suggest that Daddy could be the cause. This chapter again shows your compassion and intelligence too --calling the pastor-- a wise decision.
This is well-written and kept my interest from beginning to end.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and the comments and for continuing to read my story.
Beth
