Chasing the Elusive Dream
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "A Rude Awakening"A southern couple's journey in the 60's,70's & 80'
32 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
would be a new experience for me. I didn't know where - I added the period to avoid a run on
I can just imagine you, a young woman new to the work force and prepared in a Christian college, facing potty-mouthed managers and a boss making passes...
Brooke
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013
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would be a new experience for me. I didn't know where - I added the period to avoid a run on
I can just imagine you, a young woman new to the work force and prepared in a Christian college, facing potty-mouthed managers and a boss making passes...
Brooke
Comment Written 04-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013
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Brooke, thanks for reading and for your insightful comments. I appreciate you pointing out the missing period.
Beth
Comment from humpwhistle
A gentle cliff-hanging ending. I like that.
I'm certain a lot of people our age will be able to
relate to this memoir. I like your story about working in the loan office. I think you have fodder for a fictionalized story there. Say, an encounter between a poor couple unable to make their payments, and the young, sympathetic, but powerless clerk who must hear the sad story.
This may be just me, Beth, but except in dialogue, 'needless to say' seems needless to say.
Peace, Lee
"...think called marriage(?)"
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013
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A gentle cliff-hanging ending. I like that.
I'm certain a lot of people our age will be able to
relate to this memoir. I like your story about working in the loan office. I think you have fodder for a fictionalized story there. Say, an encounter between a poor couple unable to make their payments, and the young, sympathetic, but powerless clerk who must hear the sad story.
This may be just me, Beth, but except in dialogue, 'needless to say' seems needless to say.
Peace, Lee
"...think called marriage(?)"
Comment Written 04-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013
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Thank you Lee, I really appreciate the review and the help. You are, needless to say, right. I took out that line and added the question mark.
Beth
Comment from SaluteDobby
Hmm.. stuck in a job that doesn't do justice to your education and skills-tell me about it! I wonder why I am going to work day after day, when I clearly should be putting my skills to better use.
This was a very interesting story and I can't wait to find out what happens next!
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013
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Hmm.. stuck in a job that doesn't do justice to your education and skills-tell me about it! I wonder why I am going to work day after day, when I clearly should be putting my skills to better use.
This was a very interesting story and I can't wait to find out what happens next!
Comment Written 04-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. I'm glad you find this interesting enough that you want to read more.
Beth
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Beth. Wow..You have lived some experiences. I do think your story would move along better if you used more dialogue here and there. Just a suggestion. The experts say we should use dialogue to propel a plot forward and keep it all interesting...otherwise It can become a laundry list. Well done in any event. Bob
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013
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Hi, Beth. Wow..You have lived some experiences. I do think your story would move along better if you used more dialogue here and there. Just a suggestion. The experts say we should use dialogue to propel a plot forward and keep it all interesting...otherwise It can become a laundry list. Well done in any event. Bob
Comment Written 03-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013
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Hi Bob, You are right. I should have more dialogue, but this is the eighth one in the series and they started out to be essays. It may be too late to start adding a lot of dialogue. Besides, my husband doesn't like me putting words in his mouth and I can't do all the talking. Thanks so much for the review. LOL.
Comment from AprilShower
I enjoyed reading this non-fiction, Beth. This is the first time I believe that I've read any of your writings. Oh how I remember back to those times. It was quite a while ago, but it doesn't seem that long ago.
This is well written. I only noticed one small minor thing below:
(You left out 'a')
looking for (a) bargain.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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I enjoyed reading this non-fiction, Beth. This is the first time I believe that I've read any of your writings. Oh how I remember back to those times. It was quite a while ago, but it doesn't seem that long ago.
This is well written. I only noticed one small minor thing below:
(You left out 'a')
looking for (a) bargain.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and nice comments. I appreciate you pointing out the spag. This is the seventh of a series of stories about my early married life way when. I will eventually put them into a book.
Beth
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I think they would make an interesting book, Beth. If you are going to write more stories, I would like to read them. Let me know if you're posting more. If so, I'll become a fan so I'll know when they're posted.
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I'll probably post another one tomorrow.
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
Your finding piece-meal positions and meeting disappointments clues me you were hired beneath your qualifications. Though you never had immediate rewards for your ethical and moral convictions, you stood by right values. I'm sure your soul was grieved by the coarse talk of a co-worker and it seemed a blessing to be rid of him.
All this seems to lead to your good suspenseful ending.
In some ways, my career search resembles yours, but I don't think I was as brave.
Don
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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Your finding piece-meal positions and meeting disappointments clues me you were hired beneath your qualifications. Though you never had immediate rewards for your ethical and moral convictions, you stood by right values. I'm sure your soul was grieved by the coarse talk of a co-worker and it seemed a blessing to be rid of him.
All this seems to lead to your good suspenseful ending.
In some ways, my career search resembles yours, but I don't think I was as brave.
Don
Comment Written 03-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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Thank you Don, I really appreciate the review and your insightful comments. I don't know that I was so brave. We deal with whatever comes our way. What else can we do?
Beth
Comment from AlvinTEthington
You remind us of a time when women were viewed as chattel. It had been that way with all but the upper classes throughout Eurocentric history and it was a sad state of affairs. You portray well what women had to go through. One element I miss is how your husband reacted to all this, but this is your story, not his. It was outrageous the way men treated women. My own father wouldn't stand for it and my mother went to college at 16 in the 1930s, so you can guess how SHE felt about it. I am glad things are better, but it's not over yet. Thank you for reminding us of the not so pleasant past.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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You remind us of a time when women were viewed as chattel. It had been that way with all but the upper classes throughout Eurocentric history and it was a sad state of affairs. You portray well what women had to go through. One element I miss is how your husband reacted to all this, but this is your story, not his. It was outrageous the way men treated women. My own father wouldn't stand for it and my mother went to college at 16 in the 1930s, so you can guess how SHE felt about it. I am glad things are better, but it's not over yet. Thank you for reminding us of the not so pleasant past.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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Thank you Alvin. I don't think most women realized how unfairly things were slanted against them. What irritated me most was later when I did get a good job, I wasn't paid half what men, some of whom I trained, were paid for doing less work than I.
As for my husband's reaction, he was easygoing and accepting of whatever I wanted to do. He is a bit sensitive about seeing his name in print, so I try to make the story more from my prospective to save him anguish when he reads it.
I appreciate you reading and commenting.
Beth
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You're welcome.
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
What is wrong with these 3 consequtive sentences?
"I was in for a rude awakening.
I was still pretty naive.
I had led a sheltered life and attended a Christian college.
Otherwise an honest effort to portray a portion of life that we as adults all have faced. No SPAG or POV infractions to speak of.
Regards:
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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What is wrong with these 3 consequtive sentences?
"I was in for a rude awakening.
I was still pretty naive.
I had led a sheltered life and attended a Christian college.
Otherwise an honest effort to portray a portion of life that we as adults all have faced. No SPAG or POV infractions to speak of.
Regards:
Comment Written 03-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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Thank for the review Stephen. I see what your a getting at. They sound choppy. I've changed the sentences to read.
"I soon learned I was in for a rude awakening. For a married lady, I was still pretty naive. Up until this point,I had led a sheltered life. The Christian college, which I attended, had many students who were preparing for the ministry."
I hope this sounds better. Thank for your help.
Beth
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Good work is always well rewarded.
Hugs: Steve C
Comment from in777wr#
A well written story. The decision to help out your husband was a noble one. Often at work places we deal with people who don't have good morals. I liked the way your story reads.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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A well written story. The decision to help out your husband was a noble one. Often at work places we deal with people who don't have good morals. I liked the way your story reads.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. I'm glad you like the way it reads.
Beth
Comment from Spitfire
I already reviewed this once before, but will do it again and see if I get rewarded. Just wanted you to know that I'm watching my messages and keeping an eye out for yours.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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I already reviewed this once before, but will do it again and see if I get rewarded. Just wanted you to know that I'm watching my messages and keeping an eye out for yours.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. I appreciate you continuing to read my story.
Beth
