Cellophane Child
a fairy story ... without fairies ... (2321 words)66 total reviews
Comment from W. E. Turner
A fairy story? But I didn't see anything about homo... Oh! Not that kind of fairy, huh?
This is a very interesting tale that kept me both interested and wondering where it's going the whole time.
The plane crashes and only the bad people die? It would be nice if that sort of thing could happen. But who is to decide? I know, I'm a cynic.
None the less, an enjoyable read.
W.E. (Wayne) Turner
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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A fairy story? But I didn't see anything about homo... Oh! Not that kind of fairy, huh?
This is a very interesting tale that kept me both interested and wondering where it's going the whole time.
The plane crashes and only the bad people die? It would be nice if that sort of thing could happen. But who is to decide? I know, I'm a cynic.
None the less, an enjoyable read.
W.E. (Wayne) Turner
Comment Written 21-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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hey, this is fiction dear, so I GET TO DECIDE, for once, yeah! Bless you Wayne :)Sharyn
Comment from Sararb
This is creative writing at it's best. I loved the way you described purple, which, by the way is one of my very favorite colors, and I also like sunny yellow. I am glad that Miranda and her little girl had a chance at a happy life. Free from the monstrous father and husband. Sararb :)
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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This is creative writing at it's best. I loved the way you described purple, which, by the way is one of my very favorite colors, and I also like sunny yellow. I am glad that Miranda and her little girl had a chance at a happy life. Free from the monstrous father and husband. Sararb :)
Comment Written 21-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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Purple and yellow are my two favorite colors, would you believe, dear??? I'm SO glad you enjoyed this one - I'd hoped you'd read it!!
Blessings and a big THANK YOU for your lovely SIX!! YEAH!!!
:)Sharyn
Comment from Mark Alan Trimeloni
"Shut your mouth, you stupid bitch!" the man snarled. "And shut your fucking kid up too! Everyone's staring. They'll think you're murdering the little shit!"
The first line is excellent. The reason I fell in love with your writing in the first place.
...Shirley Temple lookalike with bright strawberry hair,...
Great description.
...let's call him Mr Dregs...
Yes, lets.
...his face already reflected the ugliness that burned inside.
Love this line.
Did you know, for example, that colors therapeutically influence the body?
I dress myself in lemon chiffon. Who am I kidding? I don't wear clothes.
It was unfortunate that the scarf's long fringe caught tightly in the window as the car continued on its merry way, and Mr Crud met his well-deserved Isadora Duncan-style death.
Such an unusual death. As funny as it is horrible. But mostly funny.
waddled
What a great word.
...sleepily holding her cuddle-bear.
These are the moments that make your writing so special. You can't teach a writer to write like you do. The gift comes naturally.
At that moment, the engines gave a convulsive shimmy, let out a deafening yowl, and the whole plane exploded in a giant flash of light.
This whole plane crash scene left me mesmerized.
This time, it was a young doctor who came to break the bad news to a newly widowed, but strangely glowing mother and her little girl.
Is anyone else feeling the loss of Mr. Dregs? Me either.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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"Shut your mouth, you stupid bitch!" the man snarled. "And shut your fucking kid up too! Everyone's staring. They'll think you're murdering the little shit!"
The first line is excellent. The reason I fell in love with your writing in the first place.
...Shirley Temple lookalike with bright strawberry hair,...
Great description.
...let's call him Mr Dregs...
Yes, lets.
...his face already reflected the ugliness that burned inside.
Love this line.
Did you know, for example, that colors therapeutically influence the body?
I dress myself in lemon chiffon. Who am I kidding? I don't wear clothes.
It was unfortunate that the scarf's long fringe caught tightly in the window as the car continued on its merry way, and Mr Crud met his well-deserved Isadora Duncan-style death.
Such an unusual death. As funny as it is horrible. But mostly funny.
waddled
What a great word.
...sleepily holding her cuddle-bear.
These are the moments that make your writing so special. You can't teach a writer to write like you do. The gift comes naturally.
At that moment, the engines gave a convulsive shimmy, let out a deafening yowl, and the whole plane exploded in a giant flash of light.
This whole plane crash scene left me mesmerized.
This time, it was a young doctor who came to break the bad news to a newly widowed, but strangely glowing mother and her little girl.
Is anyone else feeling the loss of Mr. Dregs? Me either.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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What a wonderful reviewer you've become Mark! Wow! And I'm sure you look super in lemon chiffon (matches your gorgeous eyes and personality, yes???) Bless you for a thorough, and totally gorgeous, review! I'm out of review thumbs this month, I believe, but I owe you one, Mark, ok? I always appreciate people who READ what they're reviewing (duh).
Blessings,
Sharyn
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I meant it when I said you have a gift. I'd be surprised if you haven't sold several novels by now.--mark :)
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Always been way too busy Mark! am just now starting to submit to publishers - we'll see. I so appreciate your praise and encouragement!
Comment from yachtworknz
Nice opening. Normally I shy away from dialog in the opening, but it worked here.
That was a good line-
He shoved them again, allowing himself a quick, toady smile.
Good hook here-
mpany. But, this time, she had an ulterior motive.
Thanks!
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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Nice opening. Normally I shy away from dialog in the opening, but it worked here.
That was a good line-
He shoved them again, allowing himself a quick, toady smile.
Good hook here-
mpany. But, this time, she had an ulterior motive.
Thanks!
Comment Written 21-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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I'm so glad you got past the dialogue Scott - actually I LOVE a dialogue opening - try one, I'll bet you'll be 'hooked' (literally). Thx so much for reading & reviewing!
:)Sharyn
Comment from Kiki12
No sixes :( WEll, this was worth the wait, what an entertaining, fantastical story. You excel at character development and intrigue. We detest all the right people and cheer for the others. Love the way you wove the colors into this mystical piece, using the powerful purple as a character in itself and showing the growth of Miranda's character by the colors around her. Love the irony of the death by scarf. This was a very entertaining and exceptionally written piece. You rock.
xx
kiki
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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No sixes :( WEll, this was worth the wait, what an entertaining, fantastical story. You excel at character development and intrigue. We detest all the right people and cheer for the others. Love the way you wove the colors into this mystical piece, using the powerful purple as a character in itself and showing the growth of Miranda's character by the colors around her. Love the irony of the death by scarf. This was a very entertaining and exceptionally written piece. You rock.
xx
kiki
Comment Written 21-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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oh kiki, you rock back girl! Thx so much for reading & reviewing this one ... can you tell I had fun?
:)S
Comment from robina1978
I did not know what these colours meant till you wrote them in your story. I liked- strange to say - that the nasty husband died and the woman and the little girl survived. Excellent fantasy story. You had my attention all the way.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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I did not know what these colours meant till you wrote them in your story. I liked- strange to say - that the nasty husband died and the woman and the little girl survived. Excellent fantasy story. You had my attention all the way.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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thx so much Ine! I liked killing them off! :)S
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welcome, you must be a sadist:) Ine
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welcome, you must be a sadist:) Ine
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welcome, you must be a sadist:) Ine
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welcome, you must be a sadist:) Ine
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welcome, you must be a sadist:) Ine
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welcome, you must be a sadist:) Ine
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welcome, you must be a sadist:) Ine
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welcome, you must be a sadist:) Ine
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welcome, you must be a sadist:) Ine
Comment from Dawn Munro
Okay, this is really, really strange - my two favorite colors. :) WOW Sharyn, THAT is fantasy! I'm so glad I saved a six!
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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Okay, this is really, really strange - my two favorite colors. :) WOW Sharyn, THAT is fantasy! I'm so glad I saved a six!
Comment Written 21-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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aah, another psychic twin! They're MY two favorite colors too Dawn! And I'm SOOOOO glad you saved me a sixer! thank you so much! I'm totally behind on reviewing this week, my apologies - B&B busy again, (but at least I eat when that happens!)
Thank you thank you thank you - love and appreciate your reading my work, as always!
:)Sharyn
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Good triumphs over evil, squared. Miranda and her fellow passengers survive and only the evil husband dies. What an odd occurrence. Do you think that...? Nah! Well done, Sharyn. :) nancy
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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Good triumphs over evil, squared. Miranda and her fellow passengers survive and only the evil husband dies. What an odd occurrence. Do you think that...? Nah! Well done, Sharyn. :) nancy
Comment Written 21-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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And don't you just LOVE coincidences and poetic justice Nancy? I sure do ...
Blessings,
Sharyn
Comment from barkingdog
Marvelous tale! Well woven-- lol.
You even brought the egrets into full use as they aided in the murder.
You made Mr. Dreg deserving of his fate if he intended to be like Miranda's father. He was already horrible but to molest his own child... Miranda had to do something.
I hope the doctor, her prince charming, never sees the scarf turn purple. Yellow sounds good for now.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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Marvelous tale! Well woven-- lol.
You even brought the egrets into full use as they aided in the murder.
You made Mr. Dreg deserving of his fate if he intended to be like Miranda's father. He was already horrible but to molest his own child... Miranda had to do something.
I hope the doctor, her prince charming, never sees the scarf turn purple. Yellow sounds good for now.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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Yep - he'd better behave himself, hmm?? Thx so much for your lovely sixer on this one my dear! So much appreciated, coming from the Grand Mistress of Good Prose like yourself!
:)Sharyn
Comment from Auroraboreal800
I love fantasy fiction, there is not limit in this very well written fairy story. This is just GREAT!. I love your unique writing style, what an easy to read flowing piece!
GREAT JOB Visionary!
:)
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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I love fantasy fiction, there is not limit in this very well written fairy story. This is just GREAT!. I love your unique writing style, what an easy to read flowing piece!
GREAT JOB Visionary!
:)
Comment Written 21-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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oh I'm so glad you enjoyed this one my dear! Thank you so much for reading & reviewing!
:)Sharyn