Leo
a young boy and his dog42 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
I enjoyed your story told in rhymed quatrains and the charming picture you added to reinforce your touching theme. (I also like your updated, profile photo--your smile is infectious!) Your use of quoted phrases is quite effective. Thanks for sharing your strong friend with us. Best wishes in the contest. -Joan
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2013
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I enjoyed your story told in rhymed quatrains and the charming picture you added to reinforce your touching theme. (I also like your updated, profile photo--your smile is infectious!) Your use of quoted phrases is quite effective. Thanks for sharing your strong friend with us. Best wishes in the contest. -Joan
Comment Written 25-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2013
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Thanks for an excellent review (and the comment on the picture!) You might not recognize me when you see me on April 14. I wish I could have had a picture of Leo to put up, but I don't have one; I think my sister has the only one and I don't see her that often. Thanks again.
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I don't think I would have trouble recognizing you--but thanks for the updated picture! Thanks again for sharing your memories of your sweet companion. Hugs- Joan
Comment from shelley kaye
alone and home rhyme fine to me. though maybe replace the 'i' with an apostrophe in "fam'ly"
this was an excellent poem - is it a true story? if not, you did a great job making it up!
thank you for sharing :)
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2013
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alone and home rhyme fine to me. though maybe replace the 'i' with an apostrophe in "fam'ly"
this was an excellent poem - is it a true story? if not, you did a great job making it up!
thank you for sharing :)
Comment Written 25-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2013
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I thought I already had replaced the "i" in "family" with an apostrophe, did I not? Yes, the story is factual. Thanks for an excellent review.
Comment from GE Parson
Hi Mr. A T,
Wonderful story, heart touching.
Was this sbout you or just your imagination?
Either way it could certainly be true and was a very good read.
Y'all have a God bless'd week
G.E. Parson AKA Jerry
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2013
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Hi Mr. A T,
Wonderful story, heart touching.
Was this sbout you or just your imagination?
Either way it could certainly be true and was a very good read.
Y'all have a God bless'd week
G.E. Parson AKA Jerry
Comment Written 25-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2013
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Thanks for an excellent review. The story is factual.
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Alvin
A delightful and warm-hearted story penned so well. Obviously a friendship meant to be. So wonderful you found each other and very wise of your father to provide an option for little Leo when he left the gate open. Fortunately Leo had found his new home and all agreed he could stay.
A smooth flow and entertained through to the end ... I am sure many will enjoy this lovely tale. Your rhyme is great and the meter seems to me to be spot on.
Some very nice use of alliteration, assonance and consonance throughout. I especially enjoyed your word choices in "desert day", "time/this/slim/canine", and "father/fast/fed", "Leo; lion's".
"My father fast returned and fed the pooch.
He did not lock the gate that summer night.
Soon after Daddy gave my cheek a smooch.
He then lay down as disappeared the light." - I love the touching way you expressed your father and son relationship here, and especially the rhyme of "pooch and smooch". Also the last verse sums up the boy's relationship with his much loved pooch. "He kept my soul away from disbelief" - absolutely charming.
"for a sad boy he had decreed to be." - I am not sure why the dog is sad ..... there seems no reference to this line. .... I have read your poem several times and each time I find this glitch a little.
Apart from that, an excellent entry for the contest. I wish you luck. Warm regards - Lovi xoxox
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2013
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Hi Alvin
A delightful and warm-hearted story penned so well. Obviously a friendship meant to be. So wonderful you found each other and very wise of your father to provide an option for little Leo when he left the gate open. Fortunately Leo had found his new home and all agreed he could stay.
A smooth flow and entertained through to the end ... I am sure many will enjoy this lovely tale. Your rhyme is great and the meter seems to me to be spot on.
Some very nice use of alliteration, assonance and consonance throughout. I especially enjoyed your word choices in "desert day", "time/this/slim/canine", and "father/fast/fed", "Leo; lion's".
"My father fast returned and fed the pooch.
He did not lock the gate that summer night.
Soon after Daddy gave my cheek a smooch.
He then lay down as disappeared the light." - I love the touching way you expressed your father and son relationship here, and especially the rhyme of "pooch and smooch". Also the last verse sums up the boy's relationship with his much loved pooch. "He kept my soul away from disbelief" - absolutely charming.
"for a sad boy he had decreed to be." - I am not sure why the dog is sad ..... there seems no reference to this line. .... I have read your poem several times and each time I find this glitch a little.
Apart from that, an excellent entry for the contest. I wish you luck. Warm regards - Lovi xoxox
Comment Written 25-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2013
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Thanks for an excellent and extensive review; the boy is sad, not the dog. Doesn't the adjective sad come right before boy? The boy lives out in the country and doesn't have many friends and plays alone a lot of the time. His sadness comes from his loneliness. i hope that clarifies matters.
On another note, are Wednesday (for the book seminar class) and Friday (for the senryu class) afternoons Australia times going to work for you? I was planning on announcing class chat times today, but I can wait a day until I hear from you.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, alvin, yu did an excellent job writing this quatrain poem about the dog that helped you through tough times. i enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2013
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this is very well written, alvin, yu did an excellent job writing this quatrain poem about the dog that helped you through tough times. i enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest
Comment Written 25-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2013
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Thanks for an excellent review.
Comment from Black_Oxygen
Many readers can relate to this poetry. The rhymes
are not forced and the use of user-friendly language
makes it easy to read. The attached photo is a
befitting accent that enhance the message. Thank
You for your creation.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2013
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Many readers can relate to this poetry. The rhymes
are not forced and the use of user-friendly language
makes it easy to read. The attached photo is a
befitting accent that enhance the message. Thank
You for your creation.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2013
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Thank you for an excellent review. I am quite honored.
Comment from Walu Feral
I really liked this puppy dog story poem and I think it is a very good contest entry. It reads easily and has a touching content. Cheers Fez.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2013
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I really liked this puppy dog story poem and I think it is a very good contest entry. It reads easily and has a touching content. Cheers Fez.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2013
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Thanks for an excellent review.
Comment from Connie C
How can I not review this lovely poem of yours, Alvin? I am a huge dog fan and have probably written more poems about dogs than anything else. You make it easy to see the small boy out in the scrub brush hooking up with this dog and bringing him home. I like how you describe your dad and how happy this pup made you and your family feel. My best to you in the contest.
Connie
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2013
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How can I not review this lovely poem of yours, Alvin? I am a huge dog fan and have probably written more poems about dogs than anything else. You make it easy to see the small boy out in the scrub brush hooking up with this dog and bringing him home. I like how you describe your dad and how happy this pup made you and your family feel. My best to you in the contest.
Connie
Comment Written 24-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2013
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Thanks for an excellent review.
Comment from c_lucas
What young child, especially boys, have not came home with a stray mooch? I throughly enjoyed this poem It is well written, no errors. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2013
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What young child, especially boys, have not came home with a stray mooch? I throughly enjoyed this poem It is well written, no errors. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2013
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Thanks for the exceptional review. I am highly honored.
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You're welcome, Alvin. Charlie
Comment from Pili Pubul
What a terrific poem-story , it is so moving how you found
the most loyal friend and love that only a dog can give.
Excellent style and word choice. A true pleasure to read.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2013
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What a terrific poem-story , it is so moving how you found
the most loyal friend and love that only a dog can give.
Excellent style and word choice. A true pleasure to read.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2013
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Thanks for the exceptional review I am highly honored.
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You are so welcome. Leo is my sign, so love the name.
