My Life in words
Viewing comments for Chapter 66 "Passion flawed? (Revised title)"All of my poems of release.
25 total reviews
Comment from October21
Hi Jaq!!:-)
Loved your descriptions of passion.
Excellent rhyming
I feel the narrator tries to tell me that she tries her hardest but cannot fulfil the needs of her love and this leaves her "laid bare on the floor"- amazing wording!
"Into the abyss of nothingness"- loved that:-)
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
  |
Hi Jaq!!:-)
Loved your descriptions of passion.
Excellent rhyming
I feel the narrator tries to tell me that she tries her hardest but cannot fulfil the needs of her love and this leaves her "laid bare on the floor"- amazing wording!
"Into the abyss of nothingness"- loved that:-)
Comment Written 07-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
-
Spot on Shenel as always. You're very perceptive. Thanks for your review my friend xxx
-
You're very welcome Jaq always a privilege to read your work and I enjoyed as I always know I will:-) xx
Comment from Charlene0513
To Jaq Cee, This poem speaks to me more along the lines of erotic relationship. You capture the emptiness and forlorn emotions when your love is not reciprocated.
I certainly like the layout of this poem.
Charlene
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
|
To Jaq Cee, This poem speaks to me more along the lines of erotic relationship. You capture the emptiness and forlorn emotions when your love is not reciprocated.
I certainly like the layout of this poem.
Charlene
Comment Written 07-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
-
Thanks Charlene for a lovely review. :) Jaq x
Comment from adewpearl
strong rhymes linking each stanza
iridescent and rare - lovely descriptive detail and good consonance of R sounds
excellent use of enjambment throughout
soulful expression of emotion in excellent poetic form :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
|
strong rhymes linking each stanza
iridescent and rare - lovely descriptive detail and good consonance of R sounds
excellent use of enjambment throughout
soulful expression of emotion in excellent poetic form :-) Brooke
Comment Written 07-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
-
Cheers Brooke just trying to rid some demons. Much appreciated :) Jaq xx
Comment from RYME4U
Very well done. The rhyme scheme is unique. Very pleasant to read. The message shows some cynicism and a striving for perfection in some else's eyes.Emotionally done. Good job!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
|
Very well done. The rhyme scheme is unique. Very pleasant to read. The message shows some cynicism and a striving for perfection in some else's eyes.Emotionally done. Good job!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
-
Thanks so much R4U, much appreciated. :) Jaq xx
Comment from Gungalo
JC this is a write that so doesn't match you. To have passion that is spat on is the ultimate insult girl. I wonder when you are gonna fly straight up?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
|
JC this is a write that so doesn't match you. To have passion that is spat on is the ultimate insult girl. I wonder when you are gonna fly straight up?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2013
-
Just expressing something from the past Gungalo. It's all a catharsis. Hope it's nor too awful to read. Jaq xx
-
Wellllllllllllllllll ... LOL.
-
Ohhhh dear :(, I've tempered it down a wee bit.
LOL xx
-
Should of left it girl.
-
I didn't want to scare people :) xx
