Chasing the Elusive Dream
Viewing comments for Chapter 39 "Safe Keeping"A southern couple's journey in the 60's,70's & 80'
33 total reviews
Comment from Ben Colder
Yes, I understand this very well. I was the first pastor in my little town who had black people coming to my church. Later others did the same. I batiste 16 one day. They and we are one in Him. So glad of your experience. It took the safe to start the moment.
reply by the author on 27-May-2023
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Yes, I understand this very well. I was the first pastor in my little town who had black people coming to my church. Later others did the same. I batiste 16 one day. They and we are one in Him. So glad of your experience. It took the safe to start the moment.
Comment Written 27-May-2023
reply by the author on 27-May-2023
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Thank you for the review and comments. It was a different time. I appreciate the comments.
Beth
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For sure.
Comment from JT traveller
A small typo, "Since I was new employee,". An insightful and thoroughly enjoyable read. Your story moved me and I thank you for sharing it. Jacqueline
reply by the author on 27-May-2023
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A small typo, "Since I was new employee,". An insightful and thoroughly enjoyable read. Your story moved me and I thank you for sharing it. Jacqueline
Comment Written 27-May-2023
reply by the author on 27-May-2023
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Thank you Jacqueline. I'm glad you liked it. I appreciate you noticing the missing word.
Beth
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Apologies, just my OCD. Have a wonderful weekend. Greetings from India 🙏
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for reposting this writing prompt entry for us. I hate missing posts from my friends. This is another one I missed. So sorry, but happy to read it today.
When I related the dream to her the next day, (the following day)
reply by the author on 27-May-2023
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Thank you for reposting this writing prompt entry for us. I hate missing posts from my friends. This is another one I missed. So sorry, but happy to read it today.
When I related the dream to her the next day, (the following day)
Comment Written 27-May-2023
reply by the author on 27-May-2023
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Thank you, Barbara. Did you mean to give me four stars. Somethings my hands slip and hit the wrong number.
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No, I did not. I will fix it immediately. Thank you for bringing to my attention.
Comment from Siouxsun
I know that finding the safe combination is the obvious find But I like the way you tied in finding a new friend in some one you never would of expected and overcoming some pretty strong invisible boundaries at the time. Inspiring story
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2013
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I know that finding the safe combination is the obvious find But I like the way you tied in finding a new friend in some one you never would of expected and overcoming some pretty strong invisible boundaries at the time. Inspiring story
Comment Written 08-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2013
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Thank you so much for reviewing this and for your nice comments.
Beth
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Hello. Good job, but your thoughts on the first paragraph was a bit confusing. The rest of the story had a smooth flow though and I liked the plot and characterization. Being a biographical non-fiction, I have to agree that there was a supernatural twist here. Good luck and cheers.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2013
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Hello. Good job, but your thoughts on the first paragraph was a bit confusing. The rest of the story had a smooth flow though and I liked the plot and characterization. Being a biographical non-fiction, I have to agree that there was a supernatural twist here. Good luck and cheers.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2013
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Thank you Benjamin, I really appreciate the review and you comments.
Beth
Comment from MumEsGirl
I found this to be a well written and entertaining story. What added to its appeal was the fact that it was not a work of fiction.
I have offered four stars because I didn't quite grasp the transition from working acquaintance to friendship with this 'black' lady. I felt that there was too much emphasis on race in this work.
hugs
kate
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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I found this to be a well written and entertaining story. What added to its appeal was the fact that it was not a work of fiction.
I have offered four stars because I didn't quite grasp the transition from working acquaintance to friendship with this 'black' lady. I felt that there was too much emphasis on race in this work.
hugs
kate
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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THank you Kate. I do apprecate the review and comments. Since it was factual and not fiction I suppose it was a bit disjointed. The prompt asked how finding something changed your life. If I had not found the combination that opened the safe, so we could get to the material inside, I'm pretty sure we would have lost the customer because her patience was wearing thin. As result of opening the safe and getting to her photographs, I did meet the lady who had an impact on my life. Other than the raise that is the only way my life changed.
Comment from EMB
So Judy's either a psychic or you didn't enter the safe combination correctly until she said something about her dream. This is a true story? He actually committed suicide because of his gambling debts?
Gripping stuff.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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So Judy's either a psychic or you didn't enter the safe combination correctly until she said something about her dream. This is a true story? He actually committed suicide because of his gambling debts?
Gripping stuff.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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Thank you Edward, I really appreciate the review and comments. I told it exactly as it happened. If it had been fiction, I would have made it less fragmented, but every word of this is true except of name changes.
Comment from adewpearl
her mother, who died - add comma
you build an atmosphere of suspense and intrigue well
a College professor - college
if we would escorted out - be escorted
You have written a really original response to the prompt - one with a message and an attention-keeping plot. Good luck in the contest :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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her mother, who died - add comma
you build an atmosphere of suspense and intrigue well
a College professor - college
if we would escorted out - be escorted
You have written a really original response to the prompt - one with a message and an attention-keeping plot. Good luck in the contest :-) Brooke
Comment Written 06-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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Thank you Brooke, I really appreciate your review and comments and a special thanks for pointing out the spags.
Comment from Cariboubill
This is an excellent story with a good "moral". I like it, because I worked as a printer for 50+ years in small shops and newspapers. Your story has an air of authenticity.
Could I point out a couple changes in grammar? Third paragraph, first line: "a other". Take the "a" out.
Paragraph six, second line, "an member", should be "a member". Use "a" before a word starting with a consonant or hard sound, "an" before a word with a soft sound like most vowels.
Good story that teaches a gentle lesson.
...Bill
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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This is an excellent story with a good "moral". I like it, because I worked as a printer for 50+ years in small shops and newspapers. Your story has an air of authenticity.
Could I point out a couple changes in grammar? Third paragraph, first line: "a other". Take the "a" out.
Paragraph six, second line, "an member", should be "a member". Use "a" before a word starting with a consonant or hard sound, "an" before a word with a soft sound like most vowels.
Good story that teaches a gentle lesson.
...Bill
Comment Written 06-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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Thank you so much for the coveted six star rating. I do appreciate you taking time to point out my errors which I've corrected. I pretty much told it exactly as it happened.
Beth
Comment from chasennov
'Safe Keeping' is a good story about people who are supposed to be psychic, although I do not believe in that science myself. The story was well formulated and well written. I found only one little mistake; psychic, not physic. Well done.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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'Safe Keeping' is a good story about people who are supposed to be psychic, although I do not believe in that science myself. The story was well formulated and well written. I found only one little mistake; psychic, not physic. Well done.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and comments on this story. I've never really believed in psychic happenings myself but so many things have happened in my life I have no way to explain. This was told exactly as it happened. Thanks for pointing out the misspelling.
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You're very welcome.
