THE INFERNAL COMBUSTION ENGINE
The adventures of a single mom with unreliable vehicles27 total reviews
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
This is really excellent! I love the line about "tossing limes" to the kids.
It's the sleazy mechanic who preys on the immediate situation, where there are little or no choices, he is the real villain. << The comma here should be a semi-colon, a dash, or a period. Pick one.
there are little or no choices; he is the real villain.
there are little or no choices--he is the real villain.
there are little or no choices. He is the real villain.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2012
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This is really excellent! I love the line about "tossing limes" to the kids.
It's the sleazy mechanic who preys on the immediate situation, where there are little or no choices, he is the real villain. << The comma here should be a semi-colon, a dash, or a period. Pick one.
there are little or no choices; he is the real villain.
there are little or no choices--he is the real villain.
there are little or no choices. He is the real villain.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2012
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Thank you for the correction. I reworded that sentence and was not sure if a semi-colon was need or not.
Glad you liked it.
Comment from mtnspirit
Hi Marisa3,
Boy, I can relate to this story! But with me the scope of disaster widens its range. Not pertaining strictly to auto's.
Each Christmas something tares up and this Christmas was no exception. It has happened so often I have come to expect it.
Good story and I enjoyed it very much. Well written with a good flow and awesome descriptions it was a pleasure to read and review. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2012
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Hi Marisa3,
Boy, I can relate to this story! But with me the scope of disaster widens its range. Not pertaining strictly to auto's.
Each Christmas something tares up and this Christmas was no exception. It has happened so often I have come to expect it.
Good story and I enjoyed it very much. Well written with a good flow and awesome descriptions it was a pleasure to read and review. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2012
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Yes, there is just something about Christmas that screams breakdown to all things mechanical. It never fails for me either, even today, that something decides to go south on me at this time of year.
I'm happy this brought some amusing entertainment to you.
Comment from L. Sherman
Haha. Oh my. This is wonderful. I must admit, I'm not a single mom, or a mom at all - not yet, at least. BUT, something about this rings true with me and the broke college student that I was! I have a nice, shiny truck now, but I'm no stranger to those dilapidated deathtraps on wheels, either. This was lovely - thanks for sharing!
L. Sherman
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2012
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Haha. Oh my. This is wonderful. I must admit, I'm not a single mom, or a mom at all - not yet, at least. BUT, something about this rings true with me and the broke college student that I was! I have a nice, shiny truck now, but I'm no stranger to those dilapidated deathtraps on wheels, either. This was lovely - thanks for sharing!
L. Sherman
Comment Written 28-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2012
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I too have a nice shiny truck and I usually trade my vehicles in around the five year mark. I don't want to relive those days of dysfunctional cars and walking more than riding.
I completely understand the 'starving student' situation. Besides being a single mom I also returned to school, so I kind of had a double whammy laid on me.
I'm glad you enjoyed this piece and I greatly appreciate your comments.
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Marisa,
I am smiling as I read your essay. I'm smiling, not because it is really funny, because my first car was a Toyopet Corona. I was in Japan at the time. FYI Toyopet is the forerunner of Toyota. I was so excited to have a car, until I discovered that it was a retired Japanese taxi with probably 3-400,000 kilometers on it. The good news...it got 40 miles per gallon of gas and about the same distance on a quart of oil. If I got in a hurry, and accellerated hard, it would blow more smoke than James Bond's special smoke equipped car. To add insult to injury, it was the ugliest car I have ever owned.
I know this doesn't make your experiences easier, but many of us have been there. I enjoyed your story.
Curtis
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2012
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Marisa,
I am smiling as I read your essay. I'm smiling, not because it is really funny, because my first car was a Toyopet Corona. I was in Japan at the time. FYI Toyopet is the forerunner of Toyota. I was so excited to have a car, until I discovered that it was a retired Japanese taxi with probably 3-400,000 kilometers on it. The good news...it got 40 miles per gallon of gas and about the same distance on a quart of oil. If I got in a hurry, and accellerated hard, it would blow more smoke than James Bond's special smoke equipped car. To add insult to injury, it was the ugliest car I have ever owned.
I know this doesn't make your experiences easier, but many of us have been there. I enjoyed your story.
Curtis
Comment Written 28-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2012
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This is hilarious! We can definitely relate as to funky cars. Thank you for this very entertaining review and letting me know I am not alone in the universe when it comes to ugly uncooperative cars.
Comment from Norbanus
A nicely turned piece of staire, Marisa. Soome pretty damdn god line here. Tenement on wheels and throwing the kids an occasiousl lime to prevent scurvy.LOL
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2012
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A nicely turned piece of staire, Marisa. Soome pretty damdn god line here. Tenement on wheels and throwing the kids an occasiousl lime to prevent scurvy.LOL
Comment Written 28-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2012
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Glad you liked it. Thanks for your comments.
Comment from visionary1234
I always enjoy the zaniness of your pieces, Marisa - and this is another goodie! My basic comment on this piece would be: when you're editing, look at your sentence length. Sometimes, even though the train of thought it great, the sentences themselves become quite convoluted and would benefit from making two or three sentences out of the one. Don't let it ruin your "train of thought" writing style, of course, whici is delightful - but I'd definitely take another read-thru.
loved your intro!
It seems that it is part and parcel of our lot in life to be 'doomed'(,) to be saddled with what can only be classified as tenements on wheels. We not only live in the projects, we drive them as well,(.) (That) that is when they are drivable, which is not often.
Well, that is not exactly true for those of us who are left with a shaking mass of bolts, steam and oil leaks. (Deformed mutations, with unrecognizable exteriors, equipped with tires that resemble the slick and shiny posterior of a used car salesman). (this isn't a sentence - you could use one of my tricks and use ellipsis in this case if you wanted to)
funny!
The distance from the fender of the car to the air filter may be exceeded only by that of the Grand Canyon(,) and leave you in a completely prone position, chest resting on an oily manifold. You end up arriving at the office late, looking like Mr. Goodwrench and smelling like a gas pump.
(now here's a LOOOOONNNNG one)
Believe me, it's not the predatory blind date (with more hands than an octopus has tentacles), or the predictably lascivious boss you have to worry about,(.)(It's) it's the sleazy mechanic that(who) preys on the immediate situation, where there are little or no choices, who(oops - who modifies choices grammatically here, rather than the mechanic - need to re-phrase) is the real villain.
Sparing(Sparring) with a quick witted child
(here's another looonnng one ... sounds like "work" is taking thirty five minutes instead of the bus ride - grammatically - even though of course I know what you're talking about - and your stuff would work in monologue performance just fine ...)
That means getting up before dawn to catch a bus and take a three hour ride to work that would normally take thirty-five minutes as the crow flies or, more ideally, if the crow is seated comfortably behind the wheel of a smoothly operating vehicle.
(below: what they thought of the car I was thinking of buying? thought/ thinking too close together here - I'd re-phrase)
When I finally was able to shed this rolling junkyard for a slight upgrade, I asked the kids what they thought of the car I was thinking of buying and they were just thrilled that the windows rolled up and were elated that it resembled other cars on the road.
(length again:)
The windows in the front did not roll all the way up or down, (so) in a rainstorm in the winter, the kids got bundled up in blankets and put on the backseat, (so) as to avoid getting wet. I then blasted the heater (thank god for small favors it worked) on high("high" or italicize) to try and(to - try to - is grammatically correct, try and, not) keep them semi-defrosted on the trip home. (While I(,) on the other hand, nearly drowned from the water being blown in my face.( (this isn't a sentence on its own - "while" begins a clause, so we're left hanging, so to speak) Try driving while under direct siege of a monsoon,(.)(It) it is a most exhilarating experience ... Not!(not! - no capital as the ellipsis keeps the sense and sentence going) More like being water boarded. (last one isn't a sentence either, but you get away with it stylistically, so I'd leave it alone)
Continue putting smiles on my face in the New Year, ok?
:) Sharyn
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2012
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I always enjoy the zaniness of your pieces, Marisa - and this is another goodie! My basic comment on this piece would be: when you're editing, look at your sentence length. Sometimes, even though the train of thought it great, the sentences themselves become quite convoluted and would benefit from making two or three sentences out of the one. Don't let it ruin your "train of thought" writing style, of course, whici is delightful - but I'd definitely take another read-thru.
loved your intro!
It seems that it is part and parcel of our lot in life to be 'doomed'(,) to be saddled with what can only be classified as tenements on wheels. We not only live in the projects, we drive them as well,(.) (That) that is when they are drivable, which is not often.
Well, that is not exactly true for those of us who are left with a shaking mass of bolts, steam and oil leaks. (Deformed mutations, with unrecognizable exteriors, equipped with tires that resemble the slick and shiny posterior of a used car salesman). (this isn't a sentence - you could use one of my tricks and use ellipsis in this case if you wanted to)
funny!
The distance from the fender of the car to the air filter may be exceeded only by that of the Grand Canyon(,) and leave you in a completely prone position, chest resting on an oily manifold. You end up arriving at the office late, looking like Mr. Goodwrench and smelling like a gas pump.
(now here's a LOOOOONNNNG one)
Believe me, it's not the predatory blind date (with more hands than an octopus has tentacles), or the predictably lascivious boss you have to worry about,(.)(It's) it's the sleazy mechanic that(who) preys on the immediate situation, where there are little or no choices, who(oops - who modifies choices grammatically here, rather than the mechanic - need to re-phrase) is the real villain.
Sparing(Sparring) with a quick witted child
(here's another looonnng one ... sounds like "work" is taking thirty five minutes instead of the bus ride - grammatically - even though of course I know what you're talking about - and your stuff would work in monologue performance just fine ...)
That means getting up before dawn to catch a bus and take a three hour ride to work that would normally take thirty-five minutes as the crow flies or, more ideally, if the crow is seated comfortably behind the wheel of a smoothly operating vehicle.
(below: what they thought of the car I was thinking of buying? thought/ thinking too close together here - I'd re-phrase)
When I finally was able to shed this rolling junkyard for a slight upgrade, I asked the kids what they thought of the car I was thinking of buying and they were just thrilled that the windows rolled up and were elated that it resembled other cars on the road.
(length again:)
The windows in the front did not roll all the way up or down, (so) in a rainstorm in the winter, the kids got bundled up in blankets and put on the backseat, (so) as to avoid getting wet. I then blasted the heater (thank god for small favors it worked) on high("high" or italicize) to try and(to - try to - is grammatically correct, try and, not) keep them semi-defrosted on the trip home. (While I(,) on the other hand, nearly drowned from the water being blown in my face.( (this isn't a sentence on its own - "while" begins a clause, so we're left hanging, so to speak) Try driving while under direct siege of a monsoon,(.)(It) it is a most exhilarating experience ... Not!(not! - no capital as the ellipsis keeps the sense and sentence going) More like being water boarded. (last one isn't a sentence either, but you get away with it stylistically, so I'd leave it alone)
Continue putting smiles on my face in the New Year, ok?
:) Sharyn
Comment Written 28-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2012
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Whew! What a session that was. Hopefully, I got all this stuff, but I don't swear to it. I know, my dialog reads more like standup than essay. What can I say, I am a frustrated comic.
Thanks so much, as usual, for all of you great assistance. If I were on friendlier terms with punctuation, you might be able to read my pieces with less frustration. Perhaps, one day, I will be. Where there is life there is hope!
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no frustration whatsoever - I do standup monologue performance, so it's easy to see the intent of your pieces! no sweat! :)
Comment from adewpearl
I love the play on words in the title with infernal/internal
I love the description of a clunker car as a tenement on wheels LOL
I love the narrator's attitude and running satiric commentary
I also like the child's response to "camper's" pancakes LOL
I'm still laughing at the conclusion Brooke
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2012
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I love the play on words in the title with infernal/internal
I love the description of a clunker car as a tenement on wheels LOL
I love the narrator's attitude and running satiric commentary
I also like the child's response to "camper's" pancakes LOL
I'm still laughing at the conclusion Brooke
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2012
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Glad I could tickle your funny bone, Brooke. I thought this might be a good change after my last very serious post.
