Poems of Love and Spirit
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "The Battle Grim"This book is about love, God's Love most of all.
32 total reviews
Comment from peggles
This is a lovely poem
I enjoyed reading it much
It is cleverly written and extremely well thought out
If only we could be brave enough to ask for help we may be surprised how easily others would give it
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2011
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This is a lovely poem
I enjoyed reading it much
It is cleverly written and extremely well thought out
If only we could be brave enough to ask for help we may be surprised how easily others would give it
Comment Written 26-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2011
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I really enjoyed reading your honest and thoughtful review, and true about asking for help. Sarah
Comment from tamalelove
I admire your courage through your battles. The meter and rhyme of your poetry was excellent. I would have like to read some words more specific to your situation, but wish you victory!
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reply by the author on 26-Nov-2011
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I admire your courage through your battles. The meter and rhyme of your poetry was excellent. I would have like to read some words more specific to your situation, but wish you victory!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2011
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I understand! Thank you for reviewing my poem!
Comment from WilliamDeen
Your poem reminds us of the battles of good and evil and that we have Heaven's power to fight the evil. Your poem also has good rhyme and cadence.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2011
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Your poem reminds us of the battles of good and evil and that we have Heaven's power to fight the evil. Your poem also has good rhyme and cadence.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2011
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Thank you WelliamDeen for your great review. I really appreciate it!
Comment from pixiemillie
A philosophical and pensive post. Well-written with a rhyme scheme of aabb followed throughout except verse 1.
This presents ways we can overcome that evil with good if we but use what we have been given to fight that never-ending battle.
Good use of alliteration with looking/lands; boldly/bravely;force/forever; some assonance also with wield/keys, winning/grim, all/awesome, shining/light,braving/raging.
Suggestions: Consider leaving the last line off the first verse and use the last two lines of the first verse as a couplet at the very end of this piece.
So the end would read:
Then you will be My shining light
All the way through darkest night;
braving the wild and raging storm,
the destiny to which you were born.
Winning the mighty battle grim,
Strengthened with Heaven's power within.
Just a thought. That last line in the first verse throws if off a bit for me, but I feel it is important to incorporate into this post.
Thank you
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2011
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A philosophical and pensive post. Well-written with a rhyme scheme of aabb followed throughout except verse 1.
This presents ways we can overcome that evil with good if we but use what we have been given to fight that never-ending battle.
Good use of alliteration with looking/lands; boldly/bravely;force/forever; some assonance also with wield/keys, winning/grim, all/awesome, shining/light,braving/raging.
Suggestions: Consider leaving the last line off the first verse and use the last two lines of the first verse as a couplet at the very end of this piece.
So the end would read:
Then you will be My shining light
All the way through darkest night;
braving the wild and raging storm,
the destiny to which you were born.
Winning the mighty battle grim,
Strengthened with Heaven's power within.
Just a thought. That last line in the first verse throws if off a bit for me, but I feel it is important to incorporate into this post.
Thank you
Comment Written 20-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2011
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my poem in such a beautiful, something that will greatly improve it! I'm truly honoured, Sarah
Comment from Piggies Grandma
This is a very lovely poem sarahice, and I enjoyed reading it very much. It is very cleverly written and very well thought out. If we need help we only need to ask.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2011
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This is a very lovely poem sarahice, and I enjoyed reading it very much. It is very cleverly written and very well thought out. If we need help we only need to ask.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2011
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Thank you so much for your kind review! It was really helpful!
Comment from jaded831
Your poem didn't really seem to have a point, till I read your notes, then it all came together. Your poem had a double meaning of fighting battles within and without.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2011
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Your poem didn't really seem to have a point, till I read your notes, then it all came together. Your poem had a double meaning of fighting battles within and without.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2011
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Thank you for your honest and helpful review! I really appreciate it! Sarah
Comment from Connie P
Beautifully written with an excellent rhyme scheme, sound meter, and wonderful message. You're right the spiritual battle are real and our equipment to overcome is also real.
Connie
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2011
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Beautifully written with an excellent rhyme scheme, sound meter, and wonderful message. You're right the spiritual battle are real and our equipment to overcome is also real.
Connie
Comment Written 18-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2011
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Thank you for your wonderful review on my poem! It was really helpful!
Comment from susanne.mckay
If I were capable of giving you a higher rating I would. Very well done! Clean use of rhyme, with consistent line length. This is certainly a strong piece and should be held up as a model of exceptional grammar, word choice, and style for the many who don't seem to understand that good writing means more than submitting every scattered idea that pops into your head. Thanks for sharing something worth reading. Susanne
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2011
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If I were capable of giving you a higher rating I would. Very well done! Clean use of rhyme, with consistent line length. This is certainly a strong piece and should be held up as a model of exceptional grammar, word choice, and style for the many who don't seem to understand that good writing means more than submitting every scattered idea that pops into your head. Thanks for sharing something worth reading. Susanne
Comment Written 18-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2011
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Thank you Susanne for your kind review! It was beautiful to read and very encouraging! Sarah
Comment from poetstar
Yes, I agree with the poem and the writers notes that spiritual battles are real and in order to withstand them, we must rise about them in faith. There is very good rhythm and rhyme to this poem and very good wording. I enjoyed it line by line.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2011
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Yes, I agree with the poem and the writers notes that spiritual battles are real and in order to withstand them, we must rise about them in faith. There is very good rhythm and rhyme to this poem and very good wording. I enjoyed it line by line.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2011
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Thank you for your great review on my poem! I really appreciate it! Sarah
Comment from Cynthia Tee
This is a very well written piece my friend. Lovely use of the English language and your spiritual message is clear to see. Thanks for sharing. Warm regards, Cynthia.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2011
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This is a very well written piece my friend. Lovely use of the English language and your spiritual message is clear to see. Thanks for sharing. Warm regards, Cynthia.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2011
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Thank you for your review on my poem! I'm greatly homered!
