Reviews from

Makin' Your Mama Cry

Always play to win

26 total reviews 
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Excellent
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Very well penned. This one has all the elements and is a great read. Love the flow and development of character in so short a write. Good luck in contest. xoxo Kiwi

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2010


reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
    Thank you kiwigirl for taking the time to read and comment.
Comment from Belinda
Excellent
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Clever coach. The way he lift the spirit of his team is awesome, especially when he mentions about their mamas. Btw I think mama's does not need a ' as it is meant to be plural, as in mothers. Aside of this, interesting!

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2010


reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
    Thank you Belinda for reading and the fine comments. I have already corrected the mamas, slipped by even after I read it over and over. Thanks
Comment from dportwood
Excellent
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author,

Nice job of creating a cute story, eaisly believable, while using all required words without making anything in the story seem forced or trite. Well done and good luck.

Duane

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2010


reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
    Thank you Duane for taking the time to read and comment.
Comment from Aarondodd1989
Excellent
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Interesting piece. One of the strongest entries for this contest I've read so far. Just one nit. "looking his players straight in the eye. with his crooked smile and laughing eyes." The two eyes in close proximity really jars. I would consider changing one or using a different body part.

Good luck in the booth.

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2010


reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
    Thank you Aaron for reading and commenting. I will look into the double use of eye in a bit. Appreciated.
reply by Aarondodd1989 on 03-Nov-2010
    You're welcome.
Comment from hfriscia
Excellent
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It's an interesting short piece...A nice speech for the team to get fired up...The passion in the couch is very well written...I saw no mistkes in this piece...

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2010


reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
    thank you hfriscia for taking the time and for the fine comments.
Comment from winlaw writer
Excellent
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This story has an upbeat message that is told in the straightest way possible with feeling and determination along with art work that does not add much to the story for me.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2010


reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
    Thanks winlawreader for reading and the fine commentary. Sorry about the artwork... I liked it.