Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Chapter 8; part two"Can love survive small town gossip?
78 total reviews
Comment from Fireshadow
Barbara, most definitely this work was ready to post. The narrative is solid, terrific descriptions and very credible dialogue. You're developing the storyline at a nice rhythm, and I'm sure all other readers are being held just as captive as I am waiting to see how it develops. The artwork by artforecnacer is perfect to illustrate the lilac color. Very well done, my friend.
Ama
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2010
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Barbara, most definitely this work was ready to post. The narrative is solid, terrific descriptions and very credible dialogue. You're developing the storyline at a nice rhythm, and I'm sure all other readers are being held just as captive as I am waiting to see how it develops. The artwork by artforecnacer is perfect to illustrate the lilac color. Very well done, my friend.
Ama
Comment Written 19-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Arkine
Well, I suppose painting was probably a good distraction. Not sure it'll work two days in a row, but what else can she do?
At least she gave him a hint that they might be able to reconcile the situation, providing Cassie is found alive. I don't think they will be if her daughter ends up dead.
Nicely done! :)
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2010
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Well, I suppose painting was probably a good distraction. Not sure it'll work two days in a row, but what else can she do?
At least she gave him a hint that they might be able to reconcile the situation, providing Cassie is found alive. I don't think they will be if her daughter ends up dead.
Nicely done! :)
Comment Written 19-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Sarah_Goldwell
another good chapter. The storyline is moving along nicely and the characters remain consistent. Good hook to end on. Now you have us wondering if he's found cassie
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2010
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another good chapter. The storyline is moving along nicely and the characters remain consistent. Good hook to end on. Now you have us wondering if he's found cassie
Comment Written 19-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Eddie Z
Another great chapter. Very compelling reading and very well written. I love the way you introduced the distraction to the mother. Considering your notes I think you have done exceptionally well.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2010
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Another great chapter. Very compelling reading and very well written. I love the way you introduced the distraction to the mother. Considering your notes I think you have done exceptionally well.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Ponder
Hi Barbara,
I liked the idea of Sara decorating kto keep herself busy, this is exactly what I'd do, if I couldn't do anything else, to keep my mind off things. I think that part would benefit from a few explanitary lines of dialogue from Sara, ('If I can't search for Cassie, at least I can make sure her room is ready for when she comes home') or something like that. :)
Otherwise, the chapter reads very well.
Jules
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2010
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Hi Barbara,
I liked the idea of Sara decorating kto keep herself busy, this is exactly what I'd do, if I couldn't do anything else, to keep my mind off things. I think that part would benefit from a few explanitary lines of dialogue from Sara, ('If I can't search for Cassie, at least I can make sure her room is ready for when she comes home') or something like that. :)
Otherwise, the chapter reads very well.
Jules
Comment Written 19-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I am taking some heat over the painting.
Comment from Ted T
Hi Barbara :)
I'm confused with this chapter, not the writing, but the tone. I don't get it.
Cassie is still missing and they're painting a room and discussing colors?
Doesn't make sense.
You have the word "lid" repeated three times in the first paragraph.
"Thief" should be "thieves."
I don't think you meant to post this chapter yet.
Ted
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2010
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Hi Barbara :)
I'm confused with this chapter, not the writing, but the tone. I don't get it.
Cassie is still missing and they're painting a room and discussing colors?
Doesn't make sense.
You have the word "lid" repeated three times in the first paragraph.
"Thief" should be "thieves."
I don't think you meant to post this chapter yet.
Ted
Comment Written 19-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2010
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I have fixed the lid issue and the thieves issue. As for the paining issue. 60 of my reviews understood it and thought is was reasonable, 5 didn't like and 5 were okay with it. I will keep it until an editor says it shouldn't be there.
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Okay. Good luck :)
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I don't know if I have shared this with you or not, but I had a friend, a military spouse. Her husband flies helicopters for the the Speical Forces. He would get an alert call during the night and if he didn't come home for breakfast she would turn on CNN to find out where he was. Anyway, her way of handling stress was to paint. If her husband was gone a long time, she may paint the walls more than one. Another friend moved furniture. She had 5 children and when they came home from school, they never knew where their bedrooms would be.
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Hi :)
Whatever makes it work for you go for it. The scene might be okay in a movie, but I'm not sure about a book.
Ted
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Well shall wait and see. I am hoping this summer I will be finished with Chemo and radiation therapy and I can finish my queries and get my work out there.
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Hi Barbara :)
Sounds like a plan.
I'm preparing a query/cover package for the agent I wrote about in my current FS article "Fantastic Agent" It will be different than any other agent letter I've ever written. Check out the piece.
Ted
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I will. I am three days behind in my reviews. Tomorrow I have to go back to the doctor. He wants to make sure I have complete use of my arm after taking my lymph nodes. I think it's a waste of time.
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Good luck at the doc.
Ted
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Good luck at the doc.
Ted
Comment from jmdg1954
Nicely done and a very good continuation of a story well told and written. Seems like things are becoming to come to a conclusion or am I looking ahead. We'll see. Keep up the good work.
John
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2010
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Nicely done and a very good continuation of a story well told and written. Seems like things are becoming to come to a conclusion or am I looking ahead. We'll see. Keep up the good work.
John
Comment Written 18-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from dportwood
barbara.wilkey,
Another good posting - perhaps Cassie is about to be found.
That would be a nice thing. Good writing as usual. Keep it up.
Duane
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2010
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barbara.wilkey,
Another good posting - perhaps Cassie is about to be found.
That would be a nice thing. Good writing as usual. Keep it up.
Duane
Comment Written 18-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from mmmichelle34
that is an exellent peace of work i so enjoyed reading it.
you do have a tuley great way of writting hope to see more of your work.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2010
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that is an exellent peace of work i so enjoyed reading it.
you do have a tuley great way of writting hope to see more of your work.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2010
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Thank your for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from Sacred Heart
Barbara,
This is beautifully written, Joe is a good man and he's sticking by Sara's side through her pain which says a lot about him as a person. I love how the charactors are developing. Excellent writing my friend, I always look forward to your ongoing chapters. Sending good thoughts your way my friend, blessings, love light Patty
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2010
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Barbara,
This is beautifully written, Joe is a good man and he's sticking by Sara's side through her pain which says a lot about him as a person. I love how the charactors are developing. Excellent writing my friend, I always look forward to your ongoing chapters. Sending good thoughts your way my friend, blessings, love light Patty
Comment Written 18-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2010
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Thank you for your review and continued support. It means a lot to me.
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Me too! ((hugs)) take care sweet friend. Patty