Legacy of Loss
A daughter's lament29 total reviews
Comment from Liz_chiz
This really speaks clearly about the feelings and events that happen with people when this happens in the real world. I think what I loved most about it was that it was easy to understand. I didnt have to sit down and analyze it to know what you were talking about.
reply by the author on 29-May-2010
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This really speaks clearly about the feelings and events that happen with people when this happens in the real world. I think what I loved most about it was that it was easy to understand. I didnt have to sit down and analyze it to know what you were talking about.
Comment Written 29-May-2010
reply by the author on 29-May-2010
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Lia-chiz, I do not believe we have met. Thank you so very much for stopping by to read and review my poem. Your gracious comments are well received. Poetry should entertain and or move the heart..If one cannot find an easy contemplation, it is quite frustrating and futile in an attempt to read and enjoy. again thank you so very much..jlsavell
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello jlsavell,
Where were my box of tissues when I needed them?
With your abab rhyme scheme and how you told your pathos poem made a very sad poem and excellent poem,
I was hoping for a happier closure.
Good luck to you in this contest.
Gert
reply by the author on 29-May-2010
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Hello jlsavell,
Where were my box of tissues when I needed them?
With your abab rhyme scheme and how you told your pathos poem made a very sad poem and excellent poem,
I was hoping for a happier closure.
Good luck to you in this contest.
Gert
Comment Written 29-May-2010
reply by the author on 29-May-2010
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Gert Sherwood, how have you been?? Thank you so very much for stopping by to read and review. I hope that you are doing fine. I appreciate you..no you go take on the day,,,jlsavell..thank you once again..
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Hello jlsavell
You are welcome.
Battling this MAC diease within my lungs but the meds seem to be helping.
Please take care.
Gert
Comment from adewpearl
Since you use Mom like her name in this poem, you should capitalize it - I love you, Mom She is the best mom
What a tragic story of a man who abandons his family and tiny child to be free and then doesn't return until he is old, sick and in need of care - this is emotionally intense and makes quite clear the toll all of this has taken on that child. Your quatrains have excellent abab rhyming that enhances your tragic story. Brooke
reply by the author on 29-May-2010
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Since you use Mom like her name in this poem, you should capitalize it - I love you, Mom She is the best mom
What a tragic story of a man who abandons his family and tiny child to be free and then doesn't return until he is old, sick and in need of care - this is emotionally intense and makes quite clear the toll all of this has taken on that child. Your quatrains have excellent abab rhyming that enhances your tragic story. Brooke
Comment Written 29-May-2010
reply by the author on 29-May-2010
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adewpearl, thank you very much for stopping by. I appreciate you. Yes you are right. I should have caught the typo. One can always go over their work, but something is always overlooked, at least i my case. This is emotionally intense and I imagine a hard one to digest for someone who has not experienced such abandonment. I am sure this plays out more than we care to estimate. again thank you so very much..jlsavell
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I could feel the intensity - when my mom died when I was little, my father became everything to me - you're right. It is extremely difficult to imagine what it would be like to have a dad walk away when the one thing I always knew and counted on was that my father was rock solid there for me.
Comment from skye
Mournful, filled with pain and loss. Even when giving all, the pain never really leaves.
When children are abandoned, there is always a hole that can never be filled.
Excellent message, good poem.
reply by the author on 29-May-2010
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Mournful, filled with pain and loss. Even when giving all, the pain never really leaves.
When children are abandoned, there is always a hole that can never be filled.
Excellent message, good poem.
Comment Written 29-May-2010
reply by the author on 29-May-2010
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skye, thank you very much for stopping by to read and review my mournful tune..yes the damage that can be done to children is great...again thank you so very much..jlsavell
Comment from zoocq
Very moving with graphically expressed sentiments of loss, love, forgiveness and still, at the end, still questions. You really tapped in well to all those emotions with your words.
reply by the author on 29-May-2010
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Very moving with graphically expressed sentiments of loss, love, forgiveness and still, at the end, still questions. You really tapped in well to all those emotions with your words.
Comment Written 29-May-2010
reply by the author on 29-May-2010
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zoocq, thank you for stopping by to read and review my poem. I try very hard to express raw emotions in my poetry. again thank yuo so very much..jlsavell
Comment from Aussie
Good luck with your contest entry; great presentation. You have laid your heart bare in this poem about your dad. I enjoyed the way you wrote the story/poem and in the end he did come to you, difficult as it must have been - in his desperation and illness,the father became the child and the child became the mother, the mother that cared for him and stood by his grave site. Well done my dear friend.
reply by the author on 29-May-2010
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Good luck with your contest entry; great presentation. You have laid your heart bare in this poem about your dad. I enjoyed the way you wrote the story/poem and in the end he did come to you, difficult as it must have been - in his desperation and illness,the father became the child and the child became the mother, the mother that cared for him and stood by his grave site. Well done my dear friend.
Comment Written 29-May-2010
reply by the author on 29-May-2010
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Aussie, my dear friend..you are too precious. Absolutely too precious. thank you as always for you unwaivoring support of my work..it was difficult and just as difficult to write. We all have demons in our closet, don't we. Again thank you so very much..love you..jimi
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No, not demons darling, only skeletons that rattle occasionally! LOL.
Comment from dportwood
jlsavell,
A lifetime of wanting something that was never given. Yet we do what we have to do so that we can face the guy who stares back at us in the mirror. Well done and good luck.
Duane
reply by the author on 29-May-2010
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jlsavell,
A lifetime of wanting something that was never given. Yet we do what we have to do so that we can face the guy who stares back at us in the mirror. Well done and good luck.
Duane
Comment Written 29-May-2010
reply by the author on 29-May-2010
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dportwood, yes that is most true. How often does this play out in our society. Thank you sir for stopping by to read and review my poem and for the well wishes..I appreciate you...again thank you...jlsavell
Comment from Nicki_Mist
I wish you lots of luck in the contest that you entered. Your poem was so very tenderly written and tugs at the heart strings. This would be a horrible and mixed up thing to go through. Keep on writing like this. Good poem.
Nicole
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reply by the author on 29-May-2010
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I wish you lots of luck in the contest that you entered. Your poem was so very tenderly written and tugs at the heart strings. This would be a horrible and mixed up thing to go through. Keep on writing like this. Good poem.
Nicole
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-May-2010
reply by the author on 29-May-2010
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Nicki-Mist, thank you very much fro stopping by and reading my offering..yes it would be a horrible thing to experience..but many do everyday..again thank you..jlsavell
Comment from Kingsland
This is a very sad lament.
You two have lost out on so very much.
But it is what it is, and can be nothing else.
There is no need to worry scream or shout.
For that would not arrange a very thing.
The life you live is there for you to sing.
For you have those who love you very much.
Spend your time with those, that you can touch...
John Allen Kingsland
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reply by the author on 29-May-2010
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This is a very sad lament.
You two have lost out on so very much.
But it is what it is, and can be nothing else.
There is no need to worry scream or shout.
For that would not arrange a very thing.
The life you live is there for you to sing.
For you have those who love you very much.
Spend your time with those, that you can touch...
John Allen Kingsland
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-May-2010
reply by the author on 29-May-2010
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John, did you just write that??? Wow..thank you sir
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Yes I did just write that...