What are friends for?
Two mates out on the prowl35 total reviews
Comment from Ash Madox
Great writing for straight dialogue. This was fun and you painted a clear picture of each character with a lot of ease. Wish I could do half as well. I figured "she" might be a "he", but that would've been too pat, so I wasn't disappointed. Good twist and well written for the prompt. Great entry. Much luck in the contest. Ash.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Great writing for straight dialogue. This was fun and you painted a clear picture of each character with a lot of ease. Wish I could do half as well. I figured "she" might be a "he", but that would've been too pat, so I wasn't disappointed. Good twist and well written for the prompt. Great entry. Much luck in the contest. Ash.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Thank you Ash, for your great review and generous rating. It's quite funny that most readers expected the same - she would be a he. Actually that how I wrote it first, and decided it was too lame. Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment from Belinda
Wha-ha-ha... what are friends for? For giving a unique experience he wil never forget. Serves him right, he does not want to listen in the first place. This is hilarious, Marijke.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Wha-ha-ha... what are friends for? For giving a unique experience he wil never forget. Serves him right, he does not want to listen in the first place. This is hilarious, Marijke.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Thank you Belinda, for your great review and generous rating. I am pleased you enjoyed the twist. Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment from missy98writer
Marijke
I liked the lines you come up with. Your entry is a strong contender for the contest. Cleverly written. Excellent descriptive writing. The lines that stood out for me:
"I'll walk over and buy her a drink. Then you saunter over and join us. I'll introduce you, and hey, we'll probably be in like Flynn. No-one wears an itty bitty dress like that unless they're looking for action."
"I'm sure your mum will think it was funny. She'll consider it a great compliment, actually. Here she is in her new blond wig and sexy dress, and her son tries to crack on to her
I loved it that the lady he hit on was his mom. You did a smashing job. That's my 2 cents.
Write on . . . Melissa.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Marijke
I liked the lines you come up with. Your entry is a strong contender for the contest. Cleverly written. Excellent descriptive writing. The lines that stood out for me:
"I'll walk over and buy her a drink. Then you saunter over and join us. I'll introduce you, and hey, we'll probably be in like Flynn. No-one wears an itty bitty dress like that unless they're looking for action."
"I'm sure your mum will think it was funny. She'll consider it a great compliment, actually. Here she is in her new blond wig and sexy dress, and her son tries to crack on to her
I loved it that the lady he hit on was his mom. You did a smashing job. That's my 2 cents.
Write on . . . Melissa.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Hi Melissa, and thank you for your vote of confidence! Thanks for your generous review and rating. Warmest regards, my friend, Marijke
Comment from phaedra
Great ending. Thought the ending would be she was a he not good (old?) Mom.
She sounds like a swinging lady with lots of life in her.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Great ending. Thought the ending would be she was a he not good (old?) Mom.
She sounds like a swinging lady with lots of life in her.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Hi phaedra, yes, she does. Thanks for your kind and generous review and rating. Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment from rmdelta
fionageorge,
wow, what a great story and a terrific contest entry, my friend. This was powerful and well written. I wish you the best of luck.
Reggie
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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fionageorge,
wow, what a great story and a terrific contest entry, my friend. This was powerful and well written. I wish you the best of luck.
Reggie
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Thank you Reggie. I enjoyed writing this, the end twist changed a couple of times, but I think it works. Thanks for your generous rating and comments. Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment from Nanny 6
No that was an entertaining story, who would have figured it would end like that? lol. Great entry, and good luck in the contest. Judy
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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No that was an entertaining story, who would have figured it would end like that? lol. Great entry, and good luck in the contest. Judy
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Hi Judy, Pleased you enjoyed, as did I writing it. Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment from MizKat
Fionageorge - I love it. I really like the twist at the end. They are some of my favorite kinds of stories, to be thinking or wondering one thing and find the end totally different. You did a fantastic job on this. Kat
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Fionageorge - I love it. I really like the twist at the end. They are some of my favorite kinds of stories, to be thinking or wondering one thing and find the end totally different. You did a fantastic job on this. Kat
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Hi Kat, Pleased you enjoyed, as did I writing it. Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment from Joan E.
I enjoyed your interpretation of the prompt and found the dialog quite believable and the punchline a surprising twist. I also liked your "handkerchief" simile. SweetLinda is right about the old adage holding true--blonds do have more fun! Best wishes in the voting booth.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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I enjoyed your interpretation of the prompt and found the dialog quite believable and the punchline a surprising twist. I also liked your "handkerchief" simile. SweetLinda is right about the old adage holding true--blonds do have more fun! Best wishes in the voting booth.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Hi Joan, pleased you enjoyed, as did I writing it. Yes, LInda is right - from another blond. Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment from patmedium
Marijke... I am howling here! Absolutely howling! Congratulations on a wonderful write and a hell of a good laugh! Beautifully done! Pat.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Marijke... I am howling here! Absolutely howling! Congratulations on a wonderful write and a hell of a good laugh! Beautifully done! Pat.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Hi Pat, I think I can hear that howl! Hang on, it's the wind.
Pleased you enjoyed this. Thanks for your fun review and generous rating. Warmest regards, Marijke
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This read was SO funny! Pat.
Comment from hotstuff
This is brillant. So funny. Although I don't think the boys would have appreciated the humour. Poor mum, if she only knew how men reacted to her dress and shaped their perceptions.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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This is brillant. So funny. Although I don't think the boys would have appreciated the humour. Poor mum, if she only knew how men reacted to her dress and shaped their perceptions.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your review. Originally I went for it being a guy, but thought it too obvious, thus changed it to mum. Warmest regards, Marijke
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I think your version with mum is funnier.
