Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 37 " Chapter 10; part three"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
62 total reviews
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
A lot of action in this chapter, which indicates that Leya is beginning to recover slowly.
Steve's concern for Leya is really touching.
These two need their heads knocking together, as they are obviously very much in love.
A good chapter.
Juliette
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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A lot of action in this chapter, which indicates that Leya is beginning to recover slowly.
Steve's concern for Leya is really touching.
These two need their heads knocking together, as they are obviously very much in love.
A good chapter.
Juliette
Comment Written 14-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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Thank you. Heads and bodies will be knocking ver soon.
Comment from jasmh
Well written. Nice development of the characters and interesting plot. Lots of potential trouble ahead. Have fun with it.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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Well written. Nice development of the characters and interesting plot. Lots of potential trouble ahead. Have fun with it.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Nicnac
Yowsie! Yowsie! Yowsie!
This is hot. I love it.
Whew, I could see Steven's rippled abs steaming as the water sizzled on his hot bod. Wowsie. And swim trunks? I don't think he was wearing any - or maybe it was just my eyes undressing him.
When I first saw the photo you posted with this chapter, I knew it was going to be a hot one. haha I love it. Things are heating up quickly with Steven and Leya. I love how they stopped and stared into each others eyes. Fabulous scene that I could picture well.
I enjoy the fun atmosphere with the guys. Even though it is a serious job and situation, they still find time to be cordial, accommodating and fun.
This chapter flowed nicely and I can't wait for things to get even steamier.
Parts I especially liked:
I've heard about six-pack stomachs, but holy cow!
she noticed the large lump in his swim trunks. (eh-hem)
The entire volley ball game was a major hard-on. Thank heavens the water was cold.
she needed more suit
Fabulous chapter, my friend. Love is in the air - and I'm feeling it. :)
******
Nic
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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Yowsie! Yowsie! Yowsie!
This is hot. I love it.
Whew, I could see Steven's rippled abs steaming as the water sizzled on his hot bod. Wowsie. And swim trunks? I don't think he was wearing any - or maybe it was just my eyes undressing him.
When I first saw the photo you posted with this chapter, I knew it was going to be a hot one. haha I love it. Things are heating up quickly with Steven and Leya. I love how they stopped and stared into each others eyes. Fabulous scene that I could picture well.
I enjoy the fun atmosphere with the guys. Even though it is a serious job and situation, they still find time to be cordial, accommodating and fun.
This chapter flowed nicely and I can't wait for things to get even steamier.
Parts I especially liked:
I've heard about six-pack stomachs, but holy cow!
she noticed the large lump in his swim trunks. (eh-hem)
The entire volley ball game was a major hard-on. Thank heavens the water was cold.
she needed more suit
Fabulous chapter, my friend. Love is in the air - and I'm feeling it. :)
******
Nic
Comment Written 14-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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Thank you for your kind words. We will finally get Leya and Steven together, not the next post, but the following one. I was just revamping it. I am worried about it. I don't do purple prose, so I'm worried it still won't be enought.
Comment from closetpoetjester
Nicely written and I can see a lot of thought behind each sentence. A concise and tight writing style without over the top narratives. Very impressive. Look forward to reading on some more. I like your characters too. However this chapter has me a little confused. Leya sounds totally hot for Steve, Steve sounds totally hot for Leya. However everybody else also seems to be hot for her too. This could get interesting. Loved how it ended .. look forward to reading more.
Cheers closetpoetjester
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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Nicely written and I can see a lot of thought behind each sentence. A concise and tight writing style without over the top narratives. Very impressive. Look forward to reading on some more. I like your characters too. However this chapter has me a little confused. Leya sounds totally hot for Steve, Steve sounds totally hot for Leya. However everybody else also seems to be hot for her too. This could get interesting. Loved how it ended .. look forward to reading more.
Cheers closetpoetjester
Comment Written 14-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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Thank you for your review. Leya is one hot lady, that causes men to stop and look.
Comment from anabelle
Good chapter. If they don't know what's happening to them, I think all of us do. ;-0 They've waited so long to get together, we're all going to be cheering for them when they do. Great maintaining of tension.
Thanks for the good read.
Regards, anabelle
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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Good chapter. If they don't know what's happening to them, I think all of us do. ;-0 They've waited so long to get together, we're all going to be cheering for them when they do. Great maintaining of tension.
Thanks for the good read.
Regards, anabelle
Comment Written 14-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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I promise they will get together, eventually. Thank you for your review.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is another well written chapter and i enjoyed reading it. i don't think it was too long at all since i have been waiting for another chapter from you. good flow, great work
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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this is another well written chapter and i enjoyed reading it. i don't think it was too long at all since i have been waiting for another chapter from you. good flow, great work
Comment Written 14-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from fionageorge
Well, it is obvious Steven is smitten. It is much mor than lust, there is a very obvious love affair about to happen. I enjoyecd this chapter, and the interactions between characters. Your use of dialogue is excellent, moving the chapter along at a great pace. The though processes of Steven are especially good, giving the reader a clear inkling of his inner turmoil and emotions. The hockey game was well described. Good chapter all round.
Warmest regards, Marijke
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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Well, it is obvious Steven is smitten. It is much mor than lust, there is a very obvious love affair about to happen. I enjoyecd this chapter, and the interactions between characters. Your use of dialogue is excellent, moving the chapter along at a great pace. The though processes of Steven are especially good, giving the reader a clear inkling of his inner turmoil and emotions. The hockey game was well described. Good chapter all round.
Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment Written 14-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Perp Ihebom
This is a beautiful chapter. That picture enhanced and brought more life to the story. I enjoyed reading the love overtures that are still not given voice; just teasing yet. kudos
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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This is a beautiful chapter. That picture enhanced and brought more life to the story. I enjoyed reading the love overtures that are still not given voice; just teasing yet. kudos
Comment Written 14-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from jadapenn
Hi Girlfriend, this was a grand chapter. Long - no. When something is interesting and fast paced then one whips through it. You have that sensual pot simmering on the back burner. Now we need some action, but I guess the book isn't long enough yet. lol. I loved this. luv jada
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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Hi Girlfriend, this was a grand chapter. Long - no. When something is interesting and fast paced then one whips through it. You have that sensual pot simmering on the back burner. Now we need some action, but I guess the book isn't long enough yet. lol. I loved this. luv jada
Comment Written 14-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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Not in my next post, but in the following post I promise Steven and Leya will get together. It will not come close to your purple prose entry. I hope it doesn't disappoint you. Thank you for your kind review.
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What purple prose entry. Barbara, sweetness, you been having nightmares my love???? lol. Wasn't me - not guilty. Bring on Steven and Leya and I'll be the judge. lol. No I won't - I'll enjoy what you write for me. luvjada
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I hopefull will be able to post it this weekend. I am on spring break, so as soon as I get enough pumps, I will post, hopefully Monday or Tuesday, and then the love scene Friday or Saturday. If all works out. I have to get things done this week I can't get done while working.
Comment from Isaiah Ramesses
I remember reviewing a chapter of this a few months back. And thought it to be a crime drama. You corrected me that it was a romance novel. So, then, and now I see. What a hot 'Romance' you have here though. Good formatting, and nice writing style.
'He led her to the center of the pool and then addressed the men; "We're ready. Who serves?"'. I didn't like the simi colon here. But I'm sure it's a part of your style.
I would have chose a colon instead.
Good read.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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I remember reviewing a chapter of this a few months back. And thought it to be a crime drama. You corrected me that it was a romance novel. So, then, and now I see. What a hot 'Romance' you have here though. Good formatting, and nice writing style.
'He led her to the center of the pool and then addressed the men; "We're ready. Who serves?"'. I didn't like the simi colon here. But I'm sure it's a part of your style.
I would have chose a colon instead.
Good read.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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I actually had a comma there and my computer decided it needed a semi colon. I honestly don't know what's correct. I will let the editor decide. Thank you for your review.
