Buzzing for Action
She had a plan.......45 total reviews
Comment from missy98writer
Carol,
Thanks for brightening my day with your funny story. Poor Simone wanted to treat her love to a naughty outfit. She noticed his car in the drive and decided to go change into the maids outfit in the bushes. The poor woman meets a hive of bees after she strips naked. I could see a naked woman screaming as she ran out of the bushes. It was just her luck a film crew were taping a segment at a nearby business. Great ending with Leonard showing up to console Simone and give her a ring asking her to be his Valentine.
Great imagery and excellent writing in your wonderful story.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Carol,
Thanks for brightening my day with your funny story. Poor Simone wanted to treat her love to a naughty outfit. She noticed his car in the drive and decided to go change into the maids outfit in the bushes. The poor woman meets a hive of bees after she strips naked. I could see a naked woman screaming as she ran out of the bushes. It was just her luck a film crew were taping a segment at a nearby business. Great ending with Leonard showing up to console Simone and give her a ring asking her to be his Valentine.
Great imagery and excellent writing in your wonderful story.
Melissa.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Melissa,
Glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks for the comments. Smiles, Carol
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Your funny story perked me up. It reminded me of the time I used to throw papers in Ponca City, Oklahoma in the rural area with my cousin and her mother. We were out in the middle of no where and had to go pee. My cousins mother ran out of toilet paper and used folage to wipe. She accidently grabbed poison oak and the next morning she had broken out in her private area with poison ivy. It was bad for her but funny for the family. The doctor came out laughing at the clinic we went to when Teresa told how she managed to wipe with poison ivy. I had a feeling your story was based in some fact.
Melissa.
Melissa.
Comment from IndianaIrish
Well, this is sure my romance awwwwwwwwwwww for the day, Carol! What a darling story with humor, action, and a lovely romantic ending ... perfect for Valentines Day.
Indy :>)
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Well, this is sure my romance awwwwwwwwwwww for the day, Carol! What a darling story with humor, action, and a lovely romantic ending ... perfect for Valentines Day.
Indy :>)
Comment Written 13-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Indy,
Glad you enjoyed this one...somewhere between the lines lies a bit of truth to the story from long long ago. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Gert sherwood
Good day Carol,
Ah such a happy romantic ending and I must say even if it was a bad stinging and naked day for Simone, your entry was very entertaining.
Gert
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Good day Carol,
Ah such a happy romantic ending and I must say even if it was a bad stinging and naked day for Simone, your entry was very entertaining.
Gert
Comment Written 13-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Gert,
Glad you enjoyed the story. I appreciate your comments.
How are you doing now? Okay I hope.
Carol
Comment from ms. cardshark
Hilariously funny, and a happy ending! What more could we want! Nicely done and fun story for Valentine's Day. Good luck in the contest.
MM
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Hilariously funny, and a happy ending! What more could we want! Nicely done and fun story for Valentine's Day. Good luck in the contest.
MM
Comment Written 13-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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MM
I am thrilled that you enjoyed the story. Thank you for your generous comments. CArol
Comment from eliz100
Well done. Your story is well-written, of course and very creative. I read another with the same ending but a very different ay of getting there.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Well done. Your story is well-written, of course and very creative. I read another with the same ending but a very different ay of getting there.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Eliz,
Glad you enjoyed the story. There is a thread of truth running between the lines from a long long time ago. Smiles, Carol
Comment from rose42benn
It is solid story and I enjoyed reading it. Everything happened in a flash didn't it! Good Luck in the contest.
rose42benn
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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It is solid story and I enjoyed reading it. Everything happened in a flash didn't it! Good Luck in the contest.
rose42benn
Comment Written 13-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Rose,
I am so glad that you enjoyed the story. Thank you for your generous comments. Carol
Comment from shelley kaye
LOL! when she fell on that beehive i said (outloud) "oh shit" -- and my daughter ran over to see what happened LOL!
okay anyway this was a great entry!
only one thing i noticed was the beginning line - you put an exclamation point in - not that big a deal but the sentence is "Oops. Something went wrong." (with just a period) totally easy enough to fix so you get a fiver anyway!
thanx for sharing and good luck in contest!
shelley :)
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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LOL! when she fell on that beehive i said (outloud) "oh shit" -- and my daughter ran over to see what happened LOL!
okay anyway this was a great entry!
only one thing i noticed was the beginning line - you put an exclamation point in - not that big a deal but the sentence is "Oops. Something went wrong." (with just a period) totally easy enough to fix so you get a fiver anyway!
thanx for sharing and good luck in contest!
shelley :)
Comment Written 13-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Shelley,
Thanks for bringing the punctuation to my attention. Guess I did it out of habit. Glad you enjoyed the story. CArol
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no problem i kinda figured it was a simple mistake or something :)
Comment from Quire's Gal
Sorry I ran out of sixers, or I'd give one to you. I see now, how this is condensed and action-packed due to the lack of descriptive words. A clever story and a fun read, combined with a 'big bang' ending. I think this is the type of flash fiction the judges are looking for.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Sorry I ran out of sixers, or I'd give one to you. I see now, how this is condensed and action-packed due to the lack of descriptive words. A clever story and a fun read, combined with a 'big bang' ending. I think this is the type of flash fiction the judges are looking for.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Drusilla
Thank you for your virtual six and for your wonderful thoughts. I know that my flash fiction is not pared down as thin as some might, but I think it will give you an idea of what is expected. Thank you again...Smiles, Carol
Comment from lola29
Oh, that poor girl. Her intentions were so good. I guess you never know when you're going to be part of reality TV. At least Leonard came through for her in a big, big way. This was so good, Carol. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Oh, that poor girl. Her intentions were so good. I guess you never know when you're going to be part of reality TV. At least Leonard came through for her in a big, big way. This was so good, Carol. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Lola,
A bit of truth lies within the lines of this story from long long ago so I am pleased that you enjoyed the story. Smiles, Carol
Comment from patwannabe
Carol, this is very cute. You did it again. I wonder if you're ever going to run out of stories. I hope not. You brighten my day. Keep writing. pat
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Carol, this is very cute. You did it again. I wonder if you're ever going to run out of stories. I hope not. You brighten my day. Keep writing. pat
Comment Written 13-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Pat
And you brighten mine with your generous comments. Thank you for making me smile. Carol
