Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "Chapter 8; part 2"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
58 total reviews
Comment from anabelle
Very nicely done. I read this as fast as I could. Very good point about her being stubborn. Also very good point about Steven having to do, and decide, things on his own. No one can make this decision for him.
Thanks for the good read.
Regards, anabelle
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
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Very nicely done. I read this as fast as I could. Very good point about her being stubborn. Also very good point about Steven having to do, and decide, things on his own. No one can make this decision for him.
Thanks for the good read.
Regards, anabelle
Comment Written 29-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
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Thank you for your very kind review.
Comment from adewpearl
I really love Steven - he is so in love with her and so tempted by her and so concerned for her that he ends up getting mad at her. It really has to be difficult for him to long to be with her but still want to behave honorably and then have her flaunting sexy bikini panties. And you can tell how fearful he is that she could have gotten hurt when he lashes out at her for taking that shower against his advice. His conversation with Ralph also shows his inner conflict and his true feelings. I love Ralph's advice in the end. Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
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I really love Steven - he is so in love with her and so tempted by her and so concerned for her that he ends up getting mad at her. It really has to be difficult for him to long to be with her but still want to behave honorably and then have her flaunting sexy bikini panties. And you can tell how fearful he is that she could have gotten hurt when he lashes out at her for taking that shower against his advice. His conversation with Ralph also shows his inner conflict and his true feelings. I love Ralph's advice in the end. Brooke :-)
Comment Written 29-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
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Thank you for your kind words. I always wait until your review to see how it really plays out.
Comment from Kellytr
Barbara, I am so enjoying the simmering undercurrents between Leya and Steven. Loved the banter over the panties - I can see this as a movie moment. Great job! Kelly
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
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Barbara, I am so enjoying the simmering undercurrents between Leya and Steven. Loved the banter over the panties - I can see this as a movie moment. Great job! Kelly
Comment Written 29-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
So what's wrong with taking a bath???
"Could you ... please ... get me some ...."
... is an ellipsis, which means something is omitted. I think a dash would me more appropriate, showing pauses in her speech.
"But I deserve to be angry. She ...."
Same thing. I think it should be a dash instead of ...
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
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So what's wrong with taking a bath???
"Could you ... please ... get me some ...."
... is an ellipsis, which means something is omitted. I think a dash would me more appropriate, showing pauses in her speech.
"But I deserve to be angry. She ...."
Same thing. I think it should be a dash instead of ...
Comment Written 29-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
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I would be harder to wash your hair during a bath. I will recheck my books on the ellipsis. Thank you for your review.
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I like the scene where she passes out in the shower but I was suggesting a bath for the future. You've indicated that she is quite sick for the next couple of weeks or so. You're less likely to pass out if you're sitting in a tub. Also, soaking in a tub helps to bring down your temperature. You can still duck your head under the shower for washing your hair if you're sitting in the tub. Do they bring in another female agent to help take care of her? She shouldn't be allowed to bathe or shower alone so she really needs someone's help.
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It isn't necessary. She ends up in the hospital, very soon.
Comment from bohemiangeek
The romance is great.
I think I did catch a oops in this line.
"Are you sure you're strong enough? I'm positive you want my help." (did you mean "I'm positive you 'don't' want my help.")
it just struck me odd. unless I missed something in the previous chapters. (I usually read late at night so I might have missed something.)
Really liking your story : )
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
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The romance is great.
I think I did catch a oops in this line.
"Are you sure you're strong enough? I'm positive you want my help." (did you mean "I'm positive you 'don't' want my help.")
it just struck me odd. unless I missed something in the previous chapters. (I usually read late at night so I might have missed something.)
Really liking your story : )
Comment Written 29-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. You are the only one who caught that. Thank you so much.
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You're welcome : ) Glad to help.
Comment from jmdg1954
Not reading the other chapters I needed to be able to place myself into the paragraphs of this one as it stood alone. Well done because I was able to place myself alongside the charectors for a true feel to your story. Exemplary! John
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
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Not reading the other chapters I needed to be able to place myself into the paragraphs of this one as it stood alone. Well done because I was able to place myself alongside the charectors for a true feel to your story. Exemplary! John
Comment Written 29-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
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Thank you so much for your kind review.
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
Another interesting chapter showing an intimate setting, between Leya's bedroom and bathroom.
Steve's assertion that Leya is a paradox is definitely true.
Dresses very seductively, yet acts virginal and embarrassed when confronted by her 'dress sense.'
Juliette
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
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Another interesting chapter showing an intimate setting, between Leya's bedroom and bathroom.
Steve's assertion that Leya is a paradox is definitely true.
Dresses very seductively, yet acts virginal and embarrassed when confronted by her 'dress sense.'
Juliette
Comment Written 29-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
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Thank you for following that line. I am glad it worked. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Thomas Raine
Through your dialogue and descriptions you allow the emotional side of Steven to become evident for Layla in such a well-written way; I felt as if I was in this story.
- TR
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
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Through your dialogue and descriptions you allow the emotional side of Steven to become evident for Layla in such a well-written way; I felt as if I was in this story.
- TR
Comment Written 29-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
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Thank you for your review. I am always amazed when men take time to read my romance. I appreciate your point of view.
Comment from fictionwriter
I really enjoyed this chapter. She sounds like me. I'd think I could do things that I really can't. I bet there are a lot of us out there. Great job.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
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I really enjoyed this chapter. She sounds like me. I'd think I could do things that I really can't. I bet there are a lot of us out there. Great job.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
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I am one of those women, and I raised 4 boys, they don't understand my attempts, but always bail me out. Thank you for your review.
Comment from FredCollingwood
I enjoyed the read. I also looked for spags--usually a wase of time with your excepional writing. I found only one very minor thing you might look at:
But I deserve to be angry. She .... > There are spaces at either side of an ellipsis, EXCEPT at the end of a sentence.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
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I enjoyed the read. I also looked for spags--usually a wase of time with your excepional writing. I found only one very minor thing you might look at:
But I deserve to be angry. She .... > There are spaces at either side of an ellipsis, EXCEPT at the end of a sentence.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
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I always appreciate your review. I am lucky I get a lot of reviews, but there are certain people I wait to hear from to see how I really did, you are one of those people. Thank you.
