The Ice Princess
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Flashback! Remembering When"Love, Hate, Conflicts and Fear
30 total reviews
Comment from Belinda
Ha! I was afraid Reilly got pregnant with Max. Fortunately Macy is not his baby. As a flashback this chapter is interesting, strenghtening the fact that Reilly still has some feelings for Max.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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Ha! I was afraid Reilly got pregnant with Max. Fortunately Macy is not his baby. As a flashback this chapter is interesting, strenghtening the fact that Reilly still has some feelings for Max.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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Belinda
I thought about Macy being his, but there is already too much going on in the story so better left the way it is. Glad you enjoyed it. Carol
Comment from melyuki
And on with the intrigue. It just gets better. Carol you really have a wonderful gift for writing. I hope you realise this and give yourself a big hug for excellence. ( or better still, find some gorgeous hunk that looks like Max , to give it to you ). Anway, about your writing. You use discretion where to expand on extra descriptive material to brng certain events to the for-front. It works well. Then the story sinks back into a more generalised form of writing. This gives the work crescendo, and builds the intensity of the tale. From a reader's perspective, it moves at a good pace, and holds the interest. One eagerly awaits the next unfolding surprise. Good one Carol. hugs from Mel
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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And on with the intrigue. It just gets better. Carol you really have a wonderful gift for writing. I hope you realise this and give yourself a big hug for excellence. ( or better still, find some gorgeous hunk that looks like Max , to give it to you ). Anway, about your writing. You use discretion where to expand on extra descriptive material to brng certain events to the for-front. It works well. Then the story sinks back into a more generalised form of writing. This gives the work crescendo, and builds the intensity of the tale. From a reader's perspective, it moves at a good pace, and holds the interest. One eagerly awaits the next unfolding surprise. Good one Carol. hugs from Mel
Comment Written 08-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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Mel
Thank you for the hug and for all the encouragement. I really needed it. I usually am so sure of my writing, but not this one for some reason. Maybe because I want it to be good...good enough to be noticed . I need a break in life right now and this might be one. Who knows!! Thanks for the review. Smiles, Carol
Comment from adewpearl
Wow, talk about the wrath of a woman scorned - all that hot sex and then to be dumped for the army of all things! :-) Ah, young hormonal love - and then a bad marriage - now we know why she is the ice princess!! Brooke
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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Wow, talk about the wrath of a woman scorned - all that hot sex and then to be dumped for the army of all things! :-) Ah, young hormonal love - and then a bad marriage - now we know why she is the ice princess!! Brooke
Comment Written 08-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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Brooke
Yes, She had a lot put on her shoulders and she decided not to trust men...Thanks for the review. By the way, I changed the Query and it is much better I think. Guess my imagination was running to wild when I wrote the original one. Thanks for the review. Carol
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I reread the query earlier and added to the review :-) Brooke
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How do I find that? Do I just go through my reviews? I've never had to go back..see your teaching me something again. Carol
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Yeah, just go back to that poem in your portfolio and view your reviews :-)
Comment from c_lucas
First love gone bad. This is very well written and shows the forming of the Ice Princess. There is very good imagery and descriptive scheme.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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First love gone bad. This is very well written and shows the forming of the Ice Princess. There is very good imagery and descriptive scheme.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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Charlie
Glad you like it. I wasn't sure how the passion would come across. Appreciate the review. CArol
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You're welcome, Carol. Charlie
Comment from fictionwriter
Another excellent addition to the story. I love the way you described their whirlwind romance. I thought it was wonderful.
Hoodlums, no good hoodlums(delete , as it seperates your noun and verb.)is what you all are."
Great job.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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Another excellent addition to the story. I love the way you described their whirlwind romance. I thought it was wonderful.
Hoodlums, no good hoodlums(delete , as it seperates your noun and verb.)is what you all are."
Great job.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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fictionwriter
Thanks..I was thinking the no good hoodlums was what should be set apart leaving Hoodlums is what you are...but it probably does make sense to do it the other way so I have changed it. Glad you enjoyed the story so far. Carol
Comment from Sasha
You did just fine with this one. I think the sex scenes were top notch and really quite tasteful too. Not too much and just enough to get your point across. Your descriptions are excellent and would keep any reader enthralled. Very nicely written. Feel better now? Only one small suggestion:
like hard little pebbles... you might consider leaving out the word little, not really needed.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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You did just fine with this one. I think the sex scenes were top notch and really quite tasteful too. Not too much and just enough to get your point across. Your descriptions are excellent and would keep any reader enthralled. Very nicely written. Feel better now? Only one small suggestion:
like hard little pebbles... you might consider leaving out the word little, not really needed.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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Sash
I thank you so much for relieving me from my misery. I am glad that you enjoyed it. And I dropped the suggested word. Thanks. Carol
Comment from Suzie B
Flashbank???
in the title do you mean Flashback! I waited till you posted before i hit the sack...could be a day or more before i get back..so i couldn't wait to read this one.
You have handled this well, steamy enough to suite anyones taste without crossing that line...The ages of the characters are so well handled...the impetous behaviour and lashing out of teenage angst...and the long-term damage these misunderstandings can cause, all handled very well indeed.
keep 'em coming, hon.
Hugs
Suzie
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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Flashbank???
in the title do you mean Flashback! I waited till you posted before i hit the sack...could be a day or more before i get back..so i couldn't wait to read this one.
You have handled this well, steamy enough to suite anyones taste without crossing that line...The ages of the characters are so well handled...the impetous behaviour and lashing out of teenage angst...and the long-term damage these misunderstandings can cause, all handled very well indeed.
keep 'em coming, hon.
Hugs
Suzie
Comment Written 08-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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Suzie
Thank so much for your generous comments and support. Take care and I shall think good thoughts until we speak again. Hugs to you to my friend...Carol
Comment from BethShelby
Well, at least the guy didn't dump her for another girl. She wanted to hurt him when she mentioned that his pathetice attempts at sex was getting boring. I thought your love making scene was well done without going over board. This was a good chapter.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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Well, at least the guy didn't dump her for another girl. She wanted to hurt him when she mentioned that his pathetice attempts at sex was getting boring. I thought your love making scene was well done without going over board. This was a good chapter.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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Beth
Thank you Thank You Thank you. Nobody has said what they thought about the passion and I was worried that I had blown it. Thanks for the review. Carol
Comment from lola29
Carol, this chapter is sooo good. You conveyed very well the relationship between Reilly and Max. How can a girl ever forget her first love, especially when he looks like Max. It's too bad she took his leaving as a personal affront to their relationship without having him explain further why he had to enlist. Now, I completely understand the sexual tension between them even after all these years.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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Carol, this chapter is sooo good. You conveyed very well the relationship between Reilly and Max. How can a girl ever forget her first love, especially when he looks like Max. It's too bad she took his leaving as a personal affront to their relationship without having him explain further why he had to enlist. Now, I completely understand the sexual tension between them even after all these years.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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lola
How did the passion come off as you were reading it? I have never written a sex scene before..dose it sound okay or stilted?
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The scene read as if it were very real. which is what you want. You orchestrated it in a very classy manner; i.e., not exposing too much vulgarity, and yet keeping it very sensual so that the reader can sense their passion. Very nicely done!
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Well, I consider you the passion queen so I figured you would know better than an old lady like me! Thanks so much. Smiles, Carol
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Carol, you need to stop selling yourself short. You are an excellent writer, and I'm loving this story.
Comment from pixiemillie
Well you let us in a very passionate affair these two had in their late teens. He off to the army, she marries and gives birth, but I know, deep down she has never gotten over this Max fellow. Again, well written, explicit descriptions.
Note- -just questions:
Rumor had it;(should this be a comma?)
Kneeled-Knelt ?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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Well you let us in a very passionate affair these two had in their late teens. He off to the army, she marries and gives birth, but I know, deep down she has never gotten over this Max fellow. Again, well written, explicit descriptions.
Note- -just questions:
Rumor had it;(should this be a comma?)
Kneeled-Knelt ?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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Pixie
Thanks for catching those spags for me..I already fixed it. Did the passionate scenes come off okay or are they unrealistic? I have never written anything like that.
Carol
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Well . . .not having had the experience . . .I wouldn't know. It sounded all right to me- -just enough, not too much.