Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Chapter 3 Part 4"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
44 total reviews
Comment from krprice
Good chapter. Quite interesting with good dialogue.
Something else is up too, I imagine, considering the last paragraph.
Karlene
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2009
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Good chapter. Quite interesting with good dialogue.
Something else is up too, I imagine, considering the last paragraph.
Karlene
Comment Written 20-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2009
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Thank you for your review. I appreciate your kind words.
Comment from ladybird
A nice chapter showing Stevens unease at the speed things are progressing. I have a sneaky feeling things are not going to go well in this marriage.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2009
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A nice chapter showing Stevens unease at the speed things are progressing. I have a sneaky feeling things are not going to go well in this marriage.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2009
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Thank you for your review and continued support.
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You're welcome.
Comment from FredCollingwood
I'm expecting the mock marriage to backfire ot otherwise cause problems. Well written and lots of fun to read. I lool forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2009
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I'm expecting the mock marriage to backfire ot otherwise cause problems. Well written and lots of fun to read. I lool forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2009
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Thank you for your review. I appreciate your support.
Comment from KYPollard/El Gato
So, she agreed to the plan. I liked the skepticism you showed in his inner thoughts. It leaves the reader anticipating what could happen. This chapter is nicely written. Good job.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2009
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So, she agreed to the plan. I liked the skepticism you showed in his inner thoughts. It leaves the reader anticipating what could happen. This chapter is nicely written. Good job.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2009
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Thank you for your review. I appreciate your kind words.
Comment from Arturo Palavicini
Barbara:
This is the first text I read from you. I don't know the whole context of the story, but this chapter is great. I suppossed is a very dinamic story with a lot of scenarios and with very good dialogues.
Congratulations. I will follow the rest of the story.
Best Regards
Arturo Palavicini
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2009
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Barbara:
This is the first text I read from you. I don't know the whole context of the story, but this chapter is great. I suppossed is a very dinamic story with a lot of scenarios and with very good dialogues.
Congratulations. I will follow the rest of the story.
Best Regards
Arturo Palavicini
Comment Written 20-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2009
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Thank for your review. I appreciate your thoughts.
Comment from Phil Kitom
Something is telling me that he is right
not to trust Leya but I think she has
plans to use her feminine whiles to
seduce him, and make him consummate
this marriage... Good story...
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2009
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Something is telling me that he is right
not to trust Leya but I think she has
plans to use her feminine whiles to
seduce him, and make him consummate
this marriage... Good story...
Comment Written 20-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2009
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Do women really have feminine whiles???? Hummm, I wonder?
Thank you for your review. I appreciate your continued support.
Comment from empire76
Danger, danger ... LOL. Story's coming along well with your characters inching steadily towards the point of no return. Nice read.
A couple of minor comments/suggestions:
- Steven stared down at her hand resting on his forearm [and stuttered,] "When ... do you ... want ... to do ... um ... do ... this?"
you already do a good job of showing us the stuttering in dialogue. No need to say it.
-"Is this afternoon too soon?"
An alternate suggestion: Is this afternoon soon enough
Cheers
E
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2009
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Danger, danger ... LOL. Story's coming along well with your characters inching steadily towards the point of no return. Nice read.
A couple of minor comments/suggestions:
- Steven stared down at her hand resting on his forearm [and stuttered,] "When ... do you ... want ... to do ... um ... do ... this?"
you already do a good job of showing us the stuttering in dialogue. No need to say it.
-"Is this afternoon too soon?"
An alternate suggestion: Is this afternoon soon enough
Cheers
E
Comment Written 20-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2009
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Thank you for your review. I always appreciate your thouhgts.
Comment from eliz100
This chapter moves the story along but he does protest too much. I cannot help but wonder if he does not realize he really does love her.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2009
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This chapter moves the story along but he does protest too much. I cannot help but wonder if he does not realize he really does love her.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2009
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It will take Steven quite awhile before he realized that he is in love with this drug lord princess.
Comment from Belinda
'What won't we do for a pretty face?' Poor Steven, to be more or less 'trapped' into marriage with a pretty face! This chapter seemed so short to me I wanted to scroll down again for more! No need to add, Barbara, it's just me, I guess. Interesting chapter, that's what I mean to say.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2009
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'What won't we do for a pretty face?' Poor Steven, to be more or less 'trapped' into marriage with a pretty face! This chapter seemed so short to me I wanted to scroll down again for more! No need to add, Barbara, it's just me, I guess. Interesting chapter, that's what I mean to say.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2009
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In the real manuscript this is only part of the chapter. Thank you for your review and I appreciate your continued support.
Comment from Summer Falls
Who is Steven trying to convince the marriage won't be consummated? Leya or himself? lol. He is doomed, or blessed, depends on how Leya chooses to "control" him. lmao. This was very well written.
Just one little nit:
Matt chuckled as he hung up the phone." [omit "]
Summer
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
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Who is Steven trying to convince the marriage won't be consummated? Leya or himself? lol. He is doomed, or blessed, depends on how Leya chooses to "control" him. lmao. This was very well written.
Just one little nit:
Matt chuckled as he hung up the phone." [omit "]
Summer
Comment Written 19-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
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Thank you for catching it. I appreciate your support. The people I know Steven isn't convinceing is my reviewers.