River Ruse
flash fiction38 total reviews
Comment from FredCollingwood
This one os so well written--lots of excitement and twists. I think you should do well in the contest. Good luck.
----Fred----
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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This one os so well written--lots of excitement and twists. I think you should do well in the contest. Good luck.
----Fred----
Comment Written 11-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Thanks for reading and commenting on my flash fiction, Fred. So glad you enjoyed it and appreciate your comments, always.
Indy :>)
Comment from c_lucas
Turn about is fair play. This is a well written poem with a very good imagery and descriptive scheme. Wishing you the best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Turn about is fair play. This is a well written poem with a very good imagery and descriptive scheme. Wishing you the best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Hello Charlie! Thanks for reading this flasher and as always, for your kind cimments and encouagement.
Smiles,
Indy :>)
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You're welcome, Indy. Charlie
Comment from Donovan
Wow..I am not sure I want to take you up on the Hot Fudge...I think you are a very clever plotter of evil deeds....well..maybe if I were Joe.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Wow..I am not sure I want to take you up on the Hot Fudge...I think you are a very clever plotter of evil deeds....well..maybe if I were Joe.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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LOL Sir Donovan! Thanks for reading and commenting on my story. I'm kinda new at this mystery/crime writing and had a difficult time with these nasty characters. I kept trying to make at least one of them nice, but they wouldn't let me...the buggers.
Smiles,
Indy :>)
Comment from dmjones
Hi Indy, I liked the suspense from beginning to end. Great Flash and it should do well in the contest. I read twice because the first time through I forgot to look for any suggestions but I didn't find any the second time either. Hooray for Audrey!
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Hi Indy, I liked the suspense from beginning to end. Great Flash and it should do well in the contest. I read twice because the first time through I forgot to look for any suggestions but I didn't find any the second time either. Hooray for Audrey!
Comment Written 11-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2009
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Thank you, dmjones, for taking the time to read and comment on my flash fiction. I'm glad you enjoyed it and I appreciate your review.
Smiles,
Indy :>)
Comment from WRITER1
Excellent, This is a wonderful entry for the contest. What a switch. I really enjoyed this. I love when there is such a strong twist.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2009
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Excellent, This is a wonderful entry for the contest. What a switch. I really enjoyed this. I love when there is such a strong twist.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2009
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Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my flash fiction story, WRITER1! I appreciate your kind review and I'm so glad you enjoyed the twist.
Smiles,
Indy :>)
Comment from Hitcher
What can one say Kar? Excellent friend, well written with a great plot loved how it twisted and turned like the winding river they were on, I think he actually got what was coming to him, you have to take better care of your loved one and if your gonna kill them, don't talk about it...DO IT!
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2009
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What can one say Kar? Excellent friend, well written with a great plot loved how it twisted and turned like the winding river they were on, I think he actually got what was coming to him, you have to take better care of your loved one and if your gonna kill them, don't talk about it...DO IT!
Comment Written 11-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2009
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Hi Hitch! It's great to hear from you and I appreciate your kind review and great comments. I'm not much of a crime writer so I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Indy :>)
Comment from Allezw2
Lady Aye Aye,
More twists than a havdallah candle.
I won't begin to wonder how Marty fell into the plot so well.
There were the several shocks when the revelation of her illicit assignation is made, to the surprise when she whacks her husband and disposes of the body.
I might wonder at the boy friend being the one to retrieve her though. Too coincidental, perhaps.
Nevertheless, an interesting read.
Fantasist
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2009
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Lady Aye Aye,
More twists than a havdallah candle.
I won't begin to wonder how Marty fell into the plot so well.
There were the several shocks when the revelation of her illicit assignation is made, to the surprise when she whacks her husband and disposes of the body.
I might wonder at the boy friend being the one to retrieve her though. Too coincidental, perhaps.
Nevertheless, an interesting read.
Fantasist
Comment Written 11-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2009
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Hello Fantasist! Thanks for reading this one and for your review and comments. I'm not much of a mystery/crime writer so this one gave me some trouble in having it make sense and also include that twist that flash fiction should have. She and the boyfriend didn't know the husband was gonna do in his wife...they had their own plan and the boyfriend had been following them in his boat all day. Sorry it was too broad to understand...I'll try to do better with the next one!
Smiles,
Indy :>)
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Well, at least you knew. You are a versatile writer, indeed.
Comment from Slush Pile
Well Indy, I knew there would be a twist at the end, but I honestly didn't see this one coming! :-) Great Story. I didn't notice any SPAG. All Best in the contest, Denny
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2009
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Well Indy, I knew there would be a twist at the end, but I honestly didn't see this one coming! :-) Great Story. I didn't notice any SPAG. All Best in the contest, Denny
Comment Written 11-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2009
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Hello Denny! It's so great to hear from you and thank you for your review and comments for my flash. I'm not much of a crimne writer so I had some trouble with this one...I'm glad the ending was unexpected. Hope all is well with you, Denny.
Smiles,
Indy :>)
Comment from starkat
Hello IndyFlash,
Great job with this flash fiction. You created some fascinating characters with some complicated personal relationships and surprising motivations. Marty was such a cad and totally deserved what he got. It's amazing Audie was married to him for as long as she was. Audie is a smart cookie, but definitely a risk-taker as her plan could of blown-up and she'd be the floater. I'm sure Joe was waiting in the wings just in case things got out of hand. Joe and Audie have to be careful now that nobody ever finds out what happened or they may be up for some kind of criminal charges someday. Marty would have been a cold blooded murderer if Joe and Audie hadn't totally figured him out and created a plan.
Great job creating this scene on the Kankakee river. Marty's body will float a long time and may never be found. I like how you created all these characters and the dialogues between them. The plot twists and turns and surprise ending were well devised. You had me going there. I almost had to jump in the water and swim out to the boat to fight off Marty and save Audie. Whew...close call.
Good luck in this contest. I'll have to try flash fiction one of these days.
Well done. Did any of these characters have minds of their own?
Delightful story.... KreativeKat
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2009
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Hello IndyFlash,
Great job with this flash fiction. You created some fascinating characters with some complicated personal relationships and surprising motivations. Marty was such a cad and totally deserved what he got. It's amazing Audie was married to him for as long as she was. Audie is a smart cookie, but definitely a risk-taker as her plan could of blown-up and she'd be the floater. I'm sure Joe was waiting in the wings just in case things got out of hand. Joe and Audie have to be careful now that nobody ever finds out what happened or they may be up for some kind of criminal charges someday. Marty would have been a cold blooded murderer if Joe and Audie hadn't totally figured him out and created a plan.
Great job creating this scene on the Kankakee river. Marty's body will float a long time and may never be found. I like how you created all these characters and the dialogues between them. The plot twists and turns and surprise ending were well devised. You had me going there. I almost had to jump in the water and swim out to the boat to fight off Marty and save Audie. Whew...close call.
Good luck in this contest. I'll have to try flash fiction one of these days.
Well done. Did any of these characters have minds of their own?
Delightful story.... KreativeKat
Comment Written 10-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2009
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You know, KreativeKat, that I always wish I was more of a prolific writer so I could get more reviews from you!
I'm not much of a crime writer, and I had a doozy of a time with this one...mostly because these characters wanted me to make them both want to kill each other and I wanted to make at least one of them nice. But they wouldn't have anything to do with that. lol And I just bet you would have come to Audie's rescue wouldn't you? What a nice reader you are!
Thank you, LifesaverKat, for your wonderful review, your bestest of comments, and for thinking my crime story was delightful!
You really should write a flasher sometime.
Smiles,
KillerIndy :>)
Comment from Belinda
Wow... what a story, Indy. So who outsmarts who? You tell the story in quite a convincing way, and the ending is a surprise.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2009
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Wow... what a story, Indy. So who outsmarts who? You tell the story in quite a convincing way, and the ending is a surprise.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2009
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Hello Belinda! Thank you for reading my crime flash fiction and for your kind comments. I loved that "wow" from you! Thank you!
Indy :>)
