Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Chapter 2 Part 4"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
37 total reviews
Comment from Arkine
Nice chapter. I had a thought for the spanish translations. Instead of posting the actual translation you could just show what it means by the character's reactions. Say a nod and then she goes and looks in the frig, and makes herself a sandwich. That would indicate that she feels at home...or that he told her to go make a sandwich...
You're call of course. Since this is the last section that has spanish until the end it probably isn't a big deal. I'm just not sure what an editor will say about it.
Oh, and as for the rewarding stuff. ~L~ You pay out a heck of a lot more than I do, I don't think anyone has anything to be upset about. ;)
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2009
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Nice chapter. I had a thought for the spanish translations. Instead of posting the actual translation you could just show what it means by the character's reactions. Say a nod and then she goes and looks in the frig, and makes herself a sandwich. That would indicate that she feels at home...or that he told her to go make a sandwich...
You're call of course. Since this is the last section that has spanish until the end it probably isn't a big deal. I'm just not sure what an editor will say about it.
Oh, and as for the rewarding stuff. ~L~ You pay out a heck of a lot more than I do, I don't think anyone has anything to be upset about. ;)
Comment Written 22-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2009
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Thank you. Unfortunately, most of my Spanish translations have to do with thought not actions.
Comment from Readywriter52
My impression was that woman suspects were checked by woman police officers for weapons. But it did add a little spice to the chapter. Steven didn't hate doing it.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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My impression was that woman suspects were checked by woman police officers for weapons. But it did add a little spice to the chapter. Steven didn't hate doing it.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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I'm sure in reality they are, but this is a romance...and fiction. Thank you for the review.
Comment from adewpearl
to ensure he didn't peak should be peek
The search and all his thoughts while searching is quite a fascinating passage - you do an excellent job of showing how difficult it is for him to maintain professionalism in this situation where he is so obviously physically attracted to the woman he is frisking. You then do a great job of showing the tension between them as he tells her the house rules.
A most interesting chapter. Brooke
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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to ensure he didn't peak should be peek
The search and all his thoughts while searching is quite a fascinating passage - you do an excellent job of showing how difficult it is for him to maintain professionalism in this situation where he is so obviously physically attracted to the woman he is frisking. You then do a great job of showing the tension between them as he tells her the house rules.
A most interesting chapter. Brooke
Comment Written 22-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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I always mess up with those words. Thank you for catching it. I wish I would get them right.
Comment from dportwood
barbara,
Your writing style puts the reader beside the characters and in a place to share feelings and emotions. A nice accomplishment for a writer. Well done.
Duane
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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barbara,
Your writing style puts the reader beside the characters and in a place to share feelings and emotions. A nice accomplishment for a writer. Well done.
Duane
Comment Written 22-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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Thank you for your review and thank you for the kind words.
Comment from Begin Again
Barbara
After that frisk job...you must have every reader thinking ...well, thinking....The tension is definitely building there. I don't see those two staying away from each other for long.
Good luck getting those dear little school children back in line....don't stay away too long. Everyone, including me, is waiting to see the other shoe drop!!!
Carol
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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Barbara
After that frisk job...you must have every reader thinking ...well, thinking....The tension is definitely building there. I don't see those two staying away from each other for long.
Good luck getting those dear little school children back in line....don't stay away too long. Everyone, including me, is waiting to see the other shoe drop!!!
Carol
Comment Written 22-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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I'm going to try to end chapter 2 tomorrow. It's peacefull. I can promise chapter 3 to be interesting. Thank you.
Comment from NightWriter
"Chapter 2 Part 4" has some pretty intense moments. Of course the body search had my eyes glued to every detail. Well written and quite captivating. No spaggies.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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"Chapter 2 Part 4" has some pretty intense moments. Of course the body search had my eyes glued to every detail. Well written and quite captivating. No spaggies.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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Thank you for your review. I appreciate your kind words.
Comment from nora arjuna
Waiting until she was out of hearing range, Steven said
When she was out of hearing, Steven said
He waited until she was out of hearing and turned to them
Just suggestions, other than that, i find nothing wrong. that was some frisk, embarrassing to her of course, but she challenged him as well. nice job.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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Waiting until she was out of hearing range, Steven said
When she was out of hearing, Steven said
He waited until she was out of hearing and turned to them
Just suggestions, other than that, i find nothing wrong. that was some frisk, embarrassing to her of course, but she challenged him as well. nice job.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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I'm on it. Thank you.
Comment from Nicnac
I love it, Barbara!
I wish I was the one Steven was frisking. LOL
I'm not fully trusting of Leya yet either. Especially since she is going to be holed up for who knows how long with my man!
No suggestions. Love this chapter!!
Nic
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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I love it, Barbara!
I wish I was the one Steven was frisking. LOL
I'm not fully trusting of Leya yet either. Especially since she is going to be holed up for who knows how long with my man!
No suggestions. Love this chapter!!
Nic
Comment Written 22-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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Thank you. In the next chapter you will learn what Leya wants from Steven.
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heh heh heh ... (evil laugh) I can only guess... ;)
Comment from L.lora
awe, the school year, I'll have more time now that the grand kids are back to school and you'll have less, just sucks...haha. This segment was every bit as well crafted as the others, although, the hint of some between your two main characters is definitely enticing...can't wait to see what is going to happen. Good set up and lead in to the forth coming chapter...anticipation is a great hook. No nits..Lora
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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awe, the school year, I'll have more time now that the grand kids are back to school and you'll have less, just sucks...haha. This segment was every bit as well crafted as the others, although, the hint of some between your two main characters is definitely enticing...can't wait to see what is going to happen. Good set up and lead in to the forth coming chapter...anticipation is a great hook. No nits..Lora
Comment Written 22-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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Thank you. I will keep trying to post, but the reviewing is killing me.
Comment from darkgreennights
Crap I need to be frisked would Steven like to do it? lol, sadly I dont always act like a lady lol lol, but anyway Steven is as hot as Erick in True Blood, please keep writing Barbara!
Kathleen
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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Crap I need to be frisked would Steven like to do it? lol, sadly I dont always act like a lady lol lol, but anyway Steven is as hot as Erick in True Blood, please keep writing Barbara!
Kathleen
Comment Written 22-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2009
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Thank you. I'm sure you will 'learn' to appreciate some of Steven's finer qualities. I have women standing in line for his phone number.
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curses! I'll bite their heads lol
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May not be the best idea????? LOL
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its my wolf like nature lol
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Would to give your the exact date, but school started and is messing up my reviewing, but in the next chapter Leya tells Steven exactly what's she after. You may want to tune it. You may have to stop her.
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lol, see you there
