Chasing the Elusive Dream
Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "When It Rains, It Pours"A southern couple's journey in the 60's,70's & 80'
48 total reviews
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I can relate on the "female problems", as when I was "bleeding to death," I had an ablation done that took away all bleeding for the rest of my life!
Paragraph beginning "Another a friend from down the street . . ." - you could drop the "a" and just have Another friend . . .
Oh my god, Beth, are you snakebit or something? As I've said before, this stories are tragic but funny because they read like fiction! No one could possibly have that much go wrong, right?
You tell your stories with a bit of humor and always well-written and engaging. Christmas seems to be a bad time of year for you - perhaps go away somewhere nice this year?
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2022
  |
I can relate on the "female problems", as when I was "bleeding to death," I had an ablation done that took away all bleeding for the rest of my life!
Paragraph beginning "Another a friend from down the street . . ." - you could drop the "a" and just have Another friend . . .
Oh my god, Beth, are you snakebit or something? As I've said before, this stories are tragic but funny because they read like fiction! No one could possibly have that much go wrong, right?
You tell your stories with a bit of humor and always well-written and engaging. Christmas seems to be a bad time of year for you - perhaps go away somewhere nice this year?
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2022
-
Thank you Pam. I realize my life sounds too out-of-control to be real sometimes, but believe me it is. I'm glad you are able to find what humor I add. I didn't this was my second ablation but first time to have blood transitions. Another doctor prescribed a low-dose hormone which I took about six months and never had another problem with bleeding. I really appreciate the six stars.
Beth
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nice story.
in the laundry room which was off the den. - maybe a comma after 'room'?
him, he was taking me to the emergency room. - It would be better to make another sentence beginning with 'He'.
were home from college, on Christmas break - The comma after 'college' isn't needed.
I think I would still be spanking those kids. (maybe not - smiley face here)
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2022
 |
Nice story.
in the laundry room which was off the den. - maybe a comma after 'room'?
him, he was taking me to the emergency room. - It would be better to make another sentence beginning with 'He'.
were home from college, on Christmas break - The comma after 'college' isn't needed.
I think I would still be spanking those kids. (maybe not - smiley face here)
Best wishes.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2022
-
Thank you Wayne. I appreciate your review and the suggestions. They are all good so I've have used them.
Beth
-
You spanked the kids????????
(Oh dear smiley face here)
-
No, I didn't say that. The college kids were too old to spank and my eight year old was too afraid we were going to disown her. She was very remorseful I didn't say I had never spaked them, but not this time.
-
No, I didn't say that. The college kids were too old to spank and my eight year old was too afraid we were going to disown her. She was very remorseful I didn't say I had never spaked them, but not this time.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Well her's one more (I wasn't part of FS all those years ago). I thought my life was a roller-coaster, but the only burn-out I have ever had was mental. Still you obviously came through it ... hopefully ok. Kate xx
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2022
|
Well her's one more (I wasn't part of FS all those years ago). I thought my life was a roller-coaster, but the only burn-out I have ever had was mental. Still you obviously came through it ... hopefully ok. Kate xx
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2022
-
Thank you Kate. My family life got a bit chaotic at times, both physically and mentally.
Beth
Comment from royowen
We've been extremely fortunate in me forgetfully leaving the stove on a little longer than I should, we've been very lucky. On top of everything else you had a most inconvenient fire, your eight year might have though you might have fostered her out. Well done Beth, blessings Roy
Typo : but (we) were told
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2022
|
We've been extremely fortunate in me forgetfully leaving the stove on a little longer than I should, we've been very lucky. On top of everything else you had a most inconvenient fire, your eight year might have though you might have fostered her out. Well done Beth, blessings Roy
Typo : but (we) were told
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2022
-
A fire is about the worst disaster you can have other than one where someone is hurt or killed. I've left the stove on too long myself. I appreciate the review ans thanks for seeing the missed word.
Beth
-
Yep it?s easy to do
Comment from Mary Shifman
It sounds as if you really did have an eventful year. The Chinese curse, "may you live in exciting times" could have been a sidebar to your year. I'm glad it all worked out for you in the end, including the loss of your hatred job. I missed this the first time so I'm glad you reposted. It's an excellent reminder that boring times should be appreciated!
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
|
It sounds as if you really did have an eventful year. The Chinese curse, "may you live in exciting times" could have been a sidebar to your year. I'm glad it all worked out for you in the end, including the loss of your hatred job. I missed this the first time so I'm glad you reposted. It's an excellent reminder that boring times should be appreciated!
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
-
Thank you Mary. I really apprecate the review and comments. Yes, getting rid of the job was one of the bright spots in that time.
Beth
-
You are welcome.
Comment from zanya
Action packed is hardly sufficient to describe this sequence of family events-'minor chaos' has to be a lot less interesting !! Great pace to this writing -never a dull moment!!
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2022
|
Action packed is hardly sufficient to describe this sequence of family events-'minor chaos' has to be a lot less interesting !! Great pace to this writing -never a dull moment!!
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2022
-
Thank you Zanya. It seems in my life, I never had just one thing at a time go wrong. I appreciate the review and comments.
Beth
Comment from Soledadpaz
My, what a story! Several actually. Good thing they were able to restore your house, not to mention your health. Hope your daughter recovered from the trauma.
A few edits to consider below.
Sol
3rd paragraph:
Delete "I" before: they were planning to spend a few (days)
Suggest: Relieved (that) this much of the holiday (was) behind (me)
4th para:
Suggest: laundry room, (which was) off the den.
. . . room and (the den's) carpet . . . water, making it necessary to pull (it all up.)
20th para:
'expecting to' is repeated
26th para:
. . . and Glen. They arrived around midnight. At first, they failed to see the note when (they) reached . . .
27th para:
. . . husband, but we (were) told . . . one room(.)(Everything was booked for the Super Bowl.)
. . . seven people in (one) small room
Last para:
Occasionally
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
|
My, what a story! Several actually. Good thing they were able to restore your house, not to mention your health. Hope your daughter recovered from the trauma.
A few edits to consider below.
Sol
3rd paragraph:
Delete "I" before: they were planning to spend a few (days)
Suggest: Relieved (that) this much of the holiday (was) behind (me)
4th para:
Suggest: laundry room, (which was) off the den.
. . . room and (the den's) carpet . . . water, making it necessary to pull (it all up.)
20th para:
'expecting to' is repeated
26th para:
. . . and Glen. They arrived around midnight. At first, they failed to see the note when (they) reached . . .
27th para:
. . . husband, but we (were) told . . . one room(.)(Everything was booked for the Super Bowl.)
. . . seven people in (one) small room
Last para:
Occasionally
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
-
Thank you so much Sol, a few of the errors you found had already been corrected but not all. I really appreciate you calling my attention to them. My daughter eventually recovered but even now she hates it when someone brings up the memory.
Beth
Comment from Teri7
Wow! This had to be a really hard time to deal with. You used great descriptive words and very good imagery. I am so sorry that happened to you and your family home. love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2022
|
Wow! This had to be a really hard time to deal with. You used great descriptive words and very good imagery. I am so sorry that happened to you and your family home. love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2022
-
Thank you Teri. It was a hard time to deal with but afterward when the house was repaired and we had new furniture, it was nicer than before and I felt much better after the transfusions. We got through it with God's help and like Job, we were better off than before. God is good
Beth
Comment from Ben Colder
Boring? Not you. God has known precisely what trials to give you and your bunch and never dull. Faith is tested in every aspect. I think you guys have weathered the story excitingly.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
|
Boring? Not you. God has known precisely what trials to give you and your bunch and never dull. Faith is tested in every aspect. I think you guys have weathered the story excitingly.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
-
Thank you Chuck, It is so good to see you back. I've missed you and your Western stories. I hope you'll tell us how things are going with the book you wanted to get published. I've having trouble getting in the mood to write lately and I'm bringing old stuff back. I hope my writer's block will pass quickly.
Beth
-
God is using you and I thought of the moment of the woman with the issue of blood for many years. She reached to touch the Him of His garment and was healed . Faith can move a mountain and sometimes we fail to understand.
It is always a pleasure to read your work.
I have had second thoughts about publishing. Seems I lose control of the novel if I settle for a quiet sum. No thanks. Better not to publish than to allow someone to aid their filth.
-
I don't blame you for turning down the offer. Someting will work out. I never had the big operation the doctor wanted to do. Three months of taking a harmone another doctor suggested solved my problem for good.
-
Ain't God good.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
That was not a great Christmas, for sure. I am sorry I missed it the first time around, but thank you for re-posting.
Carol, my married daughter, and her husband had spent Christmas with his parents, but I they were planning to spend a few day with us before returning to Florida. (Not sure why the 'I' is in this sentence & 'day' needs to be 'days')
Evan had just arrived,expecting to expecting to remain with me for several hours. (need a space after arrived, omit the comma, and omit 'to expecting')
He was in a hurry, and he didn't want to tell me, (omit first comma and 'he')
it was apparent that I had to do something about my continuing loss of blood. (you can omit 'that')
Needless to say, my blood-pressure shot so high they almost had to postpone the surgery which was scheduled for the next morning. (following morning)
When the reached the soot-covered front door, (they???)
The next morning the minor surgery went well, (The following morning)
The five of us spent the next two weeks in that one room before anything else was available. (the following two weeks)
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
|
That was not a great Christmas, for sure. I am sorry I missed it the first time around, but thank you for re-posting.
Carol, my married daughter, and her husband had spent Christmas with his parents, but I they were planning to spend a few day with us before returning to Florida. (Not sure why the 'I' is in this sentence & 'day' needs to be 'days')
Evan had just arrived,expecting to expecting to remain with me for several hours. (need a space after arrived, omit the comma, and omit 'to expecting')
He was in a hurry, and he didn't want to tell me, (omit first comma and 'he')
it was apparent that I had to do something about my continuing loss of blood. (you can omit 'that')
Needless to say, my blood-pressure shot so high they almost had to postpone the surgery which was scheduled for the next morning. (following morning)
When the reached the soot-covered front door, (they???)
The next morning the minor surgery went well, (The following morning)
The five of us spent the next two weeks in that one room before anything else was available. (the following two weeks)
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
-
Thank you so much Barbara. This was written over ten years ago so I didn't have the benefit of have been told to use following insteat of next and other things. You are a good editor and I appreciate the help.
Beth
-
Not a problem. I wish I could edit my own work. I miss so much in my writing.
