CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Want"A collection of poetry
37 total reviews
Comment from K-Patrick
I'm voting on the 'Jealousy Contest' and as always I'm reading all the entries.
The only flaw I see in your writing is the use of a 'clarity' format when describing one of the most unclear emotions in existence :o)
A wonderful piece of poetry, offering a peak inside the jealous heart. Smooth flow and easy to understand wording makes it that much more powerful. Well done! I wish you the best in the contest.
"Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening." ~ Dr. Maya Angelou (the essence of a powerful woman)
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I'm voting on the 'Jealousy Contest' and as always I'm reading all the entries.
The only flaw I see in your writing is the use of a 'clarity' format when describing one of the most unclear emotions in existence :o)
A wonderful piece of poetry, offering a peak inside the jealous heart. Smooth flow and easy to understand wording makes it that much more powerful. Well done! I wish you the best in the contest.
"Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening." ~ Dr. Maya Angelou (the essence of a powerful woman)
Comment Written 31-Mar-2009
Comment from words
Well done!
Loved the abstract art....it worked.
Loved thse lines:envy erodes and
corrodes cardinal needs
by seizing and choking truth
And the ending was great:wanton while remaining empty"
YOu have inspired me. Am doing a series of "morality"
Think "jealousy" will be my next subject. Once was engaged to a very jealous man..so, I know that particular evil very well.
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Well done!
Loved the abstract art....it worked.
Loved thse lines:envy erodes and
corrodes cardinal needs
by seizing and choking truth
And the ending was great:wanton while remaining empty"
YOu have inspired me. Am doing a series of "morality"
Think "jealousy" will be my next subject. Once was engaged to a very jealous man..so, I know that particular evil very well.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2009
Comment from jeslaf
Sue, the form fits the contest challenge nicely, defining succinctly the word jealousy. Your 'corrodes cardinal' alliteration was smooth, and I loved your final line best. Remaining empty indeed! Good one. :)
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Sue, the form fits the contest challenge nicely, defining succinctly the word jealousy. Your 'corrodes cardinal' alliteration was smooth, and I loved your final line best. Remaining empty indeed! Good one. :)
Comment Written 31-Mar-2009
Comment from skye
This form works nicely for your thoughts about this emotion... love the last line.
Your poem about jealousy is well crafted, with great interior images, and a terrific message.
You followed the rules, great contest entry. Gond luck.
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This form works nicely for your thoughts about this emotion... love the last line.
Your poem about jealousy is well crafted, with great interior images, and a terrific message.
You followed the rules, great contest entry. Gond luck.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2009
Comment from sherrygreywolf
Sue - VERY NICE JOB! Excellent entry to the contest. I didn't see any problems that need your attention. And again, you've chosen an intriguing piece of art to use as an illustration.
good work - sherry
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Sue - VERY NICE JOB! Excellent entry to the contest. I didn't see any problems that need your attention. And again, you've chosen an intriguing piece of art to use as an illustration.
good work - sherry
Comment Written 31-Mar-2009
Comment from rmdelta
Sue, an excellent writing and what a task. One word, clarity? great job, dear friend. I think you have a real winner here
REggie
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Sue, an excellent writing and what a task. One word, clarity? great job, dear friend. I think you have a real winner here
REggie
Comment Written 31-Mar-2009
Comment from KYPollard/El Gato
I enjoyed reading your poem on jealousy. It is well written and the message well presented. I found no errors while reading. Good luck in the contest.
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I enjoyed reading your poem on jealousy. It is well written and the message well presented. I found no errors while reading. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2009
Comment from Vladilynn
Hmm a little different from everyone! loll
I think it's a wise thought for the empty wanton~ you made me think? LOLL
covet blind desire really fits!
Thank you for sharing
Love much
Lynn ( ^ ________ ^ )
Hello again!!
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Hmm a little different from everyone! loll
I think it's a wise thought for the empty wanton~ you made me think? LOLL
covet blind desire really fits!
Thank you for sharing
Love much
Lynn ( ^ ________ ^ )
Hello again!!
Comment Written 31-Mar-2009
Comment from adewpearl
wanton while remaining empty - that pretty much sums up jealousy and the destructive force it has on the soul of the person feeling it - it's the main reason I finally divorced my husband after years of his cheating - because I hated the person it was turning me into. Because even when one's suspicions are absolutely right, it still chokes. Well done, Brooke
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wanton while remaining empty - that pretty much sums up jealousy and the destructive force it has on the soul of the person feeling it - it's the main reason I finally divorced my husband after years of his cheating - because I hated the person it was turning me into. Because even when one's suspicions are absolutely right, it still chokes. Well done, Brooke
Comment Written 31-Mar-2009
Comment from Domino
This is skilful, profound and very poetic, Sue. I reckon we all suffer from these so-called 'deadly sins'. I think jealousy is one, but I'm not sure. If it is, I've got a one-way ticket downwards, cos I'm jealous of most people all of the time. I'm sure I'm equally guilty of the other thoughts, though I don't recall murdering anyone (if that's a sin), though I have a bad memory. LOL.
I'm VERY 'jealous' of your superb poem. ;-) Love, Ray xx
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This is skilful, profound and very poetic, Sue. I reckon we all suffer from these so-called 'deadly sins'. I think jealousy is one, but I'm not sure. If it is, I've got a one-way ticket downwards, cos I'm jealous of most people all of the time. I'm sure I'm equally guilty of the other thoughts, though I don't recall murdering anyone (if that's a sin), though I have a bad memory. LOL.
I'm VERY 'jealous' of your superb poem. ;-) Love, Ray xx
Comment Written 31-Mar-2009