CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Divided, We Fell"A collection of poetry
58 total reviews
Comment from jeslaf
Ooh, ouch, but way to go on expressing so well what surely is a deep source of pain. I loved your long question verse that lingered at the end of the first stanza, as well as the 'splintered' and 'above, below, within, without'. Good one! :)
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Ooh, ouch, but way to go on expressing so well what surely is a deep source of pain. I loved your long question verse that lingered at the end of the first stanza, as well as the 'splintered' and 'above, below, within, without'. Good one! :)
Comment Written 13-Mar-2009
Comment from tammipratt
Wow, extremely powerful poem. I just loved it, although the heartbreak in it cries out. I think you have articilated it exceptionaly well. I think you have written a great poem here.
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Wow, extremely powerful poem. I just loved it, although the heartbreak in it cries out. I think you have articilated it exceptionaly well. I think you have written a great poem here.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2009
Comment from PatriciaLiteHickman
good presentation; well written; sad, but these situations do happen in life and they are sasd; creative and really liked the last line :-) no corrections;
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good presentation; well written; sad, but these situations do happen in life and they are sasd; creative and really liked the last line :-) no corrections;
Comment Written 13-Mar-2009
Comment from glacierbabe
This was a very emotional piece. The hurt is very clear. I really liked the cadence of the last lines in each stanza. I don't know enough about poetry to know the technical name for it but I really liked it. It finished off each stanza very precisely. It made the poem more like a story. I found nothing that needed correcting. Ver well written. :)
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This was a very emotional piece. The hurt is very clear. I really liked the cadence of the last lines in each stanza. I don't know enough about poetry to know the technical name for it but I really liked it. It finished off each stanza very precisely. It made the poem more like a story. I found nothing that needed correcting. Ver well written. :)
Comment Written 13-Mar-2009
Comment from adewpearl
I love the rhyme scheme where the last lines of each verse rhyme with each other - I've never used that strategy and really must try it as I always like it in other people's work.
You tell a most sorrowful story of the break up of a marriage which also results in the break up of a family despite the fact that for a long time both partners thought this was a union made to last forever. Brooke
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I love the rhyme scheme where the last lines of each verse rhyme with each other - I've never used that strategy and really must try it as I always like it in other people's work.
You tell a most sorrowful story of the break up of a marriage which also results in the break up of a family despite the fact that for a long time both partners thought this was a union made to last forever. Brooke
Comment Written 12-Mar-2009
Comment from Dave-Aranda-Richards
This poignant message brings to mind the fall of the Roman Empire. The end came mainly when the family disintegrated and men named many of their possessions after their ex-wives. Horrible to consider, yet happening more than ever.
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This poignant message brings to mind the fall of the Roman Empire. The end came mainly when the family disintegrated and men named many of their possessions after their ex-wives. Horrible to consider, yet happening more than ever.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2009
Comment from MJMuraco
Your poem is full of emotion and some hurting anger. It is hard when a marriage breaks up. You used good imagery to make this point and the rhythm was done very well. Thank you for sharing this with us.
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Your poem is full of emotion and some hurting anger. It is hard when a marriage breaks up. You used good imagery to make this point and the rhythm was done very well. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2009
Comment from Hitcher
One can feel the pain in this offering Sue, I loved the rhyme scheme you have adopted here, very impressive, enough to make me want to have a go myself[could be a contest in the making there friend]yours of course]. I've had my turn, tragic how people can give up on love I think, especially when the love is so true and profound. I really enjoyed this one friend, especially the structure!!
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One can feel the pain in this offering Sue, I loved the rhyme scheme you have adopted here, very impressive, enough to make me want to have a go myself[could be a contest in the making there friend]yours of course]. I've had my turn, tragic how people can give up on love I think, especially when the love is so true and profound. I really enjoyed this one friend, especially the structure!!
Comment Written 12-Mar-2009
Comment from NightWriter
"Divided, We Fell" is a sad poem, that is so well written and told. Poem has perfect rhythm and rhyming from beginning to end. Another well done poem.
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"Divided, We Fell" is a sad poem, that is so well written and told. Poem has perfect rhythm and rhyming from beginning to end. Another well done poem.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2009
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
What an incredibly sad poem! I don't think I have read anything of yours so far which has been so sad. The sentiments within it are familiar to anyone who has ever gone through the trauma of love lost and divorce. Beautifully crafted poem.
Warm wishes
Kat
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What an incredibly sad poem! I don't think I have read anything of yours so far which has been so sad. The sentiments within it are familiar to anyone who has ever gone through the trauma of love lost and divorce. Beautifully crafted poem.
Warm wishes
Kat
Comment Written 12-Mar-2009