CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 89 "Family Matters"A collection of poetry
48 total reviews
Comment from LadyMary
This writing is deeply profound in the connection of the stories. I have been blessed to know Part 1. My daughter has sadly experienced Part 2. One wonders how it can all go so wrong. You have captured both very well in such a concise writing. Real food for thought. Well done. LadyMary
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This writing is deeply profound in the connection of the stories. I have been blessed to know Part 1. My daughter has sadly experienced Part 2. One wonders how it can all go so wrong. You have captured both very well in such a concise writing. Real food for thought. Well done. LadyMary
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
Comment from gbyrne
Your words are sadly areflection of much of society today. Why? Simply because many have forgotten and others fail to tell others that Jesus is the way the truth and the light of life.
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Your words are sadly areflection of much of society today. Why? Simply because many have forgotten and others fail to tell others that Jesus is the way the truth and the light of life.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
Comment from Tellis
This is a very touching story and it is all too common these days. These stories a well written and I really enjoyed reading them.
Thanks
Tellis
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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This is a very touching story and it is all too common these days. These stories a well written and I really enjoyed reading them.
Thanks
Tellis
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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Tellis, very glad you read this work and I appreciate your review. With regards, Sue
Comment from Domino
Hi, Sue
Very clever picture (is it you?).
Excellent connected yet seperate statements follow rules exactly. Very sad and powerful writing.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray xx
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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Hi, Sue
Very clever picture (is it you?).
Excellent connected yet seperate statements follow rules exactly. Very sad and powerful writing.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray xx
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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Not me in the pic. Thanks for your great review, Ray and comments. Always appreciated...and you know that. Sue
Comment from fayesh
I thought the relationships were much better in the first six words than in the second group. The word "sadness" just seemed to be too abstract and unrelated to the prior words. I would have chosen a more defining word for the progression - i.e loss, broken, therapy
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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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I thought the relationships were much better in the first six words than in the second group. The word "sadness" just seemed to be too abstract and unrelated to the prior words. I would have chosen a more defining word for the progression - i.e loss, broken, therapy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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Fayesh, I appreciate your comments, but I didn't go for "relationships" in the words. I see where you are going with "sadness" maybe being a bit abstract, however I felt it encompassed so much like "loss", "broken", "therapy". If I put the word "loss" there, it would not have the same impact of what the kids feel 'after the loss'. I certainly appreciate your review and suggestions, however. With regards, Sue
Comment from wierdgrace
Thios is so wonderful and the artwork is perfect, I am so far behind in reading, and am glad I read this, great job, and keep writing, excellent, enjoyable, no errors and no reviison.s good luck my dear.
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Thios is so wonderful and the artwork is perfect, I am so far behind in reading, and am glad I read this, great job, and keep writing, excellent, enjoyable, no errors and no reviison.s good luck my dear.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
Comment from Eaglewolf
Amazing imagery. I can just see the first story of being how the family is portrayed to the world, but the 2nd story is the truth of how things are at home. It really makes you stop and think.
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Amazing imagery. I can just see the first story of being how the family is portrayed to the world, but the 2nd story is the truth of how things are at home. It really makes you stop and think.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
Comment from minopavlic
There is a bold elegance found within your pen. This brilliantly crafted tragedy goes beyond descriptive words, as to the horrors felt and the irreplacable scars left..
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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There is a bold elegance found within your pen. This brilliantly crafted tragedy goes beyond descriptive words, as to the horrors felt and the irreplacable scars left..
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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no_obstacle, it is a most horrible thing for children to face abuse and neglect. As the family unit is so precious and the #1 thing in life we should hold dear to. The "WHY" is the mystery and puzzle. I appreciate your most generous review and compliments on this work. With regards, Sue
Comment from starkat
Two separate six word stories that stand alone, yet are connected, as families are connected, though not necessarily connected, as in ... all families are different. It works for me. The majority of families I've encountered in my life have all the ingredients in your first story, with no elements of the second story. I've known some families that have a few of the elements of the second story added to the happy first story, which creates degrees of unhappiness in the family. Luckily, I don't know any families that have all the elements in your seoond story. But I do know that many such families exist, with varying degrees of all the negative elements. We hear about them on the news from time to time as things get out of hand. The second story is sad, and devastating. We do wonder and ask, why? Yet, 'why' questions lead to more 'why' questions... and it can be extremely frustrating for those outside the family trying to understand the dynamics of the situation.
Well, you said a lot in only twelve words total, divided equally among the two stories. Excellent contest entry.
Good luck in this contest! I think this one should be a strong contender. Cheers...;-) starkat
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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Two separate six word stories that stand alone, yet are connected, as families are connected, though not necessarily connected, as in ... all families are different. It works for me. The majority of families I've encountered in my life have all the ingredients in your first story, with no elements of the second story. I've known some families that have a few of the elements of the second story added to the happy first story, which creates degrees of unhappiness in the family. Luckily, I don't know any families that have all the elements in your seoond story. But I do know that many such families exist, with varying degrees of all the negative elements. We hear about them on the news from time to time as things get out of hand. The second story is sad, and devastating. We do wonder and ask, why? Yet, 'why' questions lead to more 'why' questions... and it can be extremely frustrating for those outside the family trying to understand the dynamics of the situation.
Well, you said a lot in only twelve words total, divided equally among the two stories. Excellent contest entry.
Good luck in this contest! I think this one should be a strong contender. Cheers...;-) starkat
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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starkat, your review is so appreciated. My "WHY" gets down to, "Why does a family treat each other so bad, when it is ALL we have in this world...that it is the only thing that is most precious...it comes first". And what is worth pursuing something else when family is the #1? There are no answers. People just cannot be satisfied. Very sad, indeed. I appreciate all of your comments. And your well-wishes for the contest! Thank You! :-)) Sue
Comment from Adam Smith
Hello Sixteezkid, I think that the contrast here is very effective. You set two very vivid scenes and they play off of one another very well. I think the order in which they are placed makes sense, but heightens the sadness found in the second sixer. Good use of emotion, and ending on a question is always a way to get the reader involved. Nicely done. Adam
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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Hello Sixteezkid, I think that the contrast here is very effective. You set two very vivid scenes and they play off of one another very well. I think the order in which they are placed makes sense, but heightens the sadness found in the second sixer. Good use of emotion, and ending on a question is always a way to get the reader involved. Nicely done. Adam
Comment Written 19-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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Adam, thanks for your compliments. I really appreciate that and your great review. With regards, Sue