CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 143 "Bilingual"A collection of poetry
40 total reviews
Comment from MissCellanea
I enjoyed your proem. It was quite a delightful read. Yes, poetry is a unique way to express oneself! Some days, though, it certainly comes easier than others. Your choice of words flowed beautiful throughout. Ryme and meter rang true. I will suggest somehing, though, that I was blessed to hear: If you're going to use punctuation, use it. If not, the few that are used really stand out. The choice of what to use and how often is up to the author, but, as I read, the !s and ? do seem prominent. just a thought. Great read. Thanks for shaing. Sue
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2008
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I enjoyed your proem. It was quite a delightful read. Yes, poetry is a unique way to express oneself! Some days, though, it certainly comes easier than others. Your choice of words flowed beautiful throughout. Ryme and meter rang true. I will suggest somehing, though, that I was blessed to hear: If you're going to use punctuation, use it. If not, the few that are used really stand out. The choice of what to use and how often is up to the author, but, as I read, the !s and ? do seem prominent. just a thought. Great read. Thanks for shaing. Sue
Comment Written 28-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2008
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Hi suZque, thank you very much for your generous review and kind words. So glad you liked it. Yes, you are right. I did go back earlier today and cleaned it up. And after awhile, will go back again with another fresh set of eyes. Thanks for making those points, as I most appreciate the input. With regards, Sue
Comment from fayesh
The journey to poetry begins from childhood as you noted in your poem with a love of language and words. The fruition of the poetic urge lies dormant for some until later, as in your case. Then, it awakens with a bang! Welcome, poet.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2008
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The journey to poetry begins from childhood as you noted in your poem with a love of language and words. The fruition of the poetic urge lies dormant for some until later, as in your case. Then, it awakens with a bang! Welcome, poet.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2008
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Fayesh, I am very thankful for that awakening! Yes! It took quite awhile, but no bother; it did arrive! Thank you for your very kind review and lovely words. Most appreciated, Sue
Comment from skye
I think this is fun to read, clever and well written. I think allude should be elude?
Your artwork is so appropriate.
Very well done.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2008
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I think this is fun to read, clever and well written. I think allude should be elude?
Your artwork is so appropriate.
Very well done.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2008
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Skye, thanks so much for your very kind review. YES! I found that nasty misspelling (just before I read this). But, thanks very much for bringing it up, for I might not have caught it. Yikes! Much appreciated and with regards, Sue
Comment from Diny
WELCOME- to our world- Ain't ot great!?- haha
Even us old hillbilly's find poems a way in which to speak feelings anew!- Ah.... I wax poetic- With words and this screen not many know of my lack of education or smarts- and i can be anyone!- Bless you this holiday and always write on-Diny
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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WELCOME- to our world- Ain't ot great!?- haha
Even us old hillbilly's find poems a way in which to speak feelings anew!- Ah.... I wax poetic- With words and this screen not many know of my lack of education or smarts- and i can be anyone!- Bless you this holiday and always write on-Diny
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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Ha!! Education is a great start, but it sure ain't the end!!!! Thank goodness for that! I'm 100% hillbilly by blood and proud of the voices so rich from all my relatives, who helped give me so much depth of heart. Thank you for your lovely comments and encouragement! With regards, Sue
Comment from kassey
I loved the story of your life told through the way you used words, it is a great story just starting with the one word 'dad' and what that led to many things only to end up discovering the art of words, 'poetry'. I must say I for one am certainly enjoying your work, this was a pleasure to read. Excellent work Kay
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2008
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I loved the story of your life told through the way you used words, it is a great story just starting with the one word 'dad' and what that led to many things only to end up discovering the art of words, 'poetry'. I must say I for one am certainly enjoying your work, this was a pleasure to read. Excellent work Kay
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2008
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Kassey, thank you for your very kind review and words. Glad you enjoyed this piece! Much appreciated and with regards, Sue
Comment from Curt Mongold
Sue,
I hope you will take this as it is intended, for I do not give token 5's as much as others, esp. if I feel the poet is capable of more. I feel that in this work. You are conveying a message, an emotion or set of emotions, but you are doing it in a more casual way than I would expect from you and your previous works. the changing of tenses in the 1st stanza, the staggered syllable count all count to me. You have set the bar for yourself, and it is higher than this particular work reaches. Not much, but it does.
On the plus side, there is some very good word usage in this piece, but it is not consistent.
Sincerely,
Curt
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reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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Sue,
I hope you will take this as it is intended, for I do not give token 5's as much as others, esp. if I feel the poet is capable of more. I feel that in this work. You are conveying a message, an emotion or set of emotions, but you are doing it in a more casual way than I would expect from you and your previous works. the changing of tenses in the 1st stanza, the staggered syllable count all count to me. You have set the bar for yourself, and it is higher than this particular work reaches. Not much, but it does.
On the plus side, there is some very good word usage in this piece, but it is not consistent.
Sincerely,
Curt
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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Hi Curt, I was still working on this until yesterday. Maybe it will be one of my pieces that will be a "permanent work-in-progress" HA!! - Thanks for all your honesty and help along the way. Sue
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Have you finished it? I would gladly re-review if you have!
Warm regards,
Curt
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This poem happens to be like one of my paintings.......don't know if it's done yet! HA!
Tweaked it again this morning. It has gotten to the point where I think that everytime I visit it, I'll change something. Hmmmm......
Why don't you check the oven and see if it has risen yet! LOL!
Comment from adewpearl
Words had never alluded me - is this some word play where you have used allude instead of elude, or did you misspell it?
this is a most interesting poem, showing the evolution of your relationship to words from a most pragmatic, academic and corporate use to the poetic - nicely done
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2008
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Words had never alluded me - is this some word play where you have used allude instead of elude, or did you misspell it?
this is a most interesting poem, showing the evolution of your relationship to words from a most pragmatic, academic and corporate use to the poetic - nicely done
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2008
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No. Big spelling error! Ha! Changed it not long ago. But thanks very much for raising it! So glad you highlighted the progression of time and context of the poem. And very glad you liked it! Thank you for your very kind review and words. Sincerely, Sue
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Sixteezkid .....
What you have written here is very enjoyable to read.
Your rhyming is good but this would be greatly enhanced if you were to introduce a good, regular metre which would ensure a smooth easy-flowing rhythm.
Apart from that, there is nothing that I would suggest changing.
With love from .... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2008
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Hullo Sixteezkid .....
What you have written here is very enjoyable to read.
Your rhyming is good but this would be greatly enhanced if you were to introduce a good, regular metre which would ensure a smooth easy-flowing rhythm.
Apart from that, there is nothing that I would suggest changing.
With love from .... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2008
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Nanette, thanks very much for reviewing. Yeah, I went back earlier and made a lot of changes. But thanks so much for your very honest critique. Glad you enjoyed it! With regards, Sue
Comment from Nicnac
From your title, I thought this poem was going to be about learning Spanish. LOL Clever title.
This is an interesting poem.
In this poem, you describe how your words have evolved into art, and you have done that beautifully.
"But wait, something was lacking
Feelings welled up within me
My heart and soul also had words?
I wondered what all that could be" - your stirring emotions are expressed very nicely in this stanza.
I hope you are having a beautiful Thanksgiving day!
~Nic
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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From your title, I thought this poem was going to be about learning Spanish. LOL Clever title.
This is an interesting poem.
In this poem, you describe how your words have evolved into art, and you have done that beautifully.
"But wait, something was lacking
Feelings welled up within me
My heart and soul also had words?
I wondered what all that could be" - your stirring emotions are expressed very nicely in this stanza.
I hope you are having a beautiful Thanksgiving day!
~Nic
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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Hi Nic....so funny about the Espanol. ha! - I enjoyed writing about the progression of time and poking fun at myself, thinking I was so smart! HA!!! But, words can get you a long way in this world, as it is the beginning of "understanding" by speaker and receiver. But, the heart's vocabulary is on another level of understanding. That's what is so beautiful about poetry. Thank you for your kind words and glad you enjoyed. Regards, Sue
Comment from Hitcher
You are a lot like me friend, I've only recently started to write and that is because I had spinal surgery and have been recovering, 6 years before that knee surgery so played around a bit. I'm definitely really enjoying it now though, Another great poem friend, well done. I dread public speaking so I take my hat off to you there friend.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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You are a lot like me friend, I've only recently started to write and that is because I had spinal surgery and have been recovering, 6 years before that knee surgery so played around a bit. I'm definitely really enjoying it now though, Another great poem friend, well done. I dread public speaking so I take my hat off to you there friend.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2008
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Your learning curve has been like a catapult launching......off the charts! Truly, I am SO glad you found poetry to be with you at this time. Thank you for reading my work and am glad you liked it. Your friend, Sue