CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 146 "Warmth Lies Dormant"A collection of poetry
131 total reviews
Comment from starkat
End of autumn and the beginning of winter, with spring many months away. Hi Sixteezkid...hey, welcome to FanStory. This is a beautifully written 5-7-5 haiku, and an excellent contest entry. You filled the 17 syllables with wonderful nature imagery, that works well even without the wintry artwork. The first two lines of concrete interconnected imagery really capture the readers attention and imagination.
Good luck in this contest!
Well done,
Be well,
starkat
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End of autumn and the beginning of winter, with spring many months away. Hi Sixteezkid...hey, welcome to FanStory. This is a beautifully written 5-7-5 haiku, and an excellent contest entry. You filled the 17 syllables with wonderful nature imagery, that works well even without the wintry artwork. The first two lines of concrete interconnected imagery really capture the readers attention and imagination.
Good luck in this contest!
Well done,
Be well,
starkat
Comment Written 26-Nov-2008
Comment from DragonSkulls
This is one great write for the contest Sue. I'm glad I live in Florida. I had to get away from all that snow. Lol. Good luck. /Ron
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This is one great write for the contest Sue. I'm glad I live in Florida. I had to get away from all that snow. Lol. Good luck. /Ron
Comment Written 26-Nov-2008
Comment from shy1250
Perfect form and artistic color presentation--no spag, nothing to suggest or correct. This matches what I'm seeing out my window to a tee! later and gb, shy
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Perfect form and artistic color presentation--no spag, nothing to suggest or correct. This matches what I'm seeing out my window to a tee! later and gb, shy
Comment Written 26-Nov-2008
Comment from Jarlsbane
this is a very good haiku... i like the first two lines very much... they set the scene very well. I think the satori is a little weak, lacking a strong pensive or reflective quality. Overall nicely done though.
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this is a very good haiku... i like the first two lines very much... they set the scene very well. I think the satori is a little weak, lacking a strong pensive or reflective quality. Overall nicely done though.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2008
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Sixteezkid ....
Under a most appropriate picture, what you have written here fully complies with the requirements for the Haiku format and presents your readers with something to think about and to visualise.
I enjoyed reading this short work and, as it is a Contest entry, I wish you well.
With love from ...... Nanette Mary.
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Hullo Sixteezkid ....
Under a most appropriate picture, what you have written here fully complies with the requirements for the Haiku format and presents your readers with something to think about and to visualise.
I enjoyed reading this short work and, as it is a Contest entry, I wish you well.
With love from ...... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2008
Comment from islandergirl
OOOHHH! The ground waits for spring! I love that! It's like the ground is in hibernation as winter makes it's bow. Love it!
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OOOHHH! The ground waits for spring! I love that! It's like the ground is in hibernation as winter makes it's bow. Love it!
Comment Written 26-Nov-2008
Comment from davidray
Yeah, those words pretty much convey the message pretty good, doesn't it? The colours indeed are gone till being rejuvenated in the spring. Nice work. Good luck.
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Yeah, those words pretty much convey the message pretty good, doesn't it? The colours indeed are gone till being rejuvenated in the spring. Nice work. Good luck.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2008
Comment from Stephen C Winter (Vs
Dear Sixteezkid,
warmth lays dormant, is a powerful piece...It says so much with so few words, especailly on a cold day like this one here in London
Kind regards
Steve
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Dear Sixteezkid,
warmth lays dormant, is a powerful piece...It says so much with so few words, especailly on a cold day like this one here in London
Kind regards
Steve
Comment Written 26-Nov-2008
Comment from Fleedleflump
I love your opening line there, and the way you've followed the theme of eating/consumption through into the second line. Very skillfully done, and it actually made me feel a little cold! That may have been the greyscale accompanying image, of course :-)
Fleedleflump
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I love your opening line there, and the way you've followed the theme of eating/consumption through into the second line. Very skillfully done, and it actually made me feel a little cold! That may have been the greyscale accompanying image, of course :-)
Fleedleflump
Comment Written 26-Nov-2008
Comment from bkrighter
Very nice. I especially like the images of winter?s bite blanches and consuming autumn colors. Not that the culminating line is not good, it is just that the imagery of the first two is spectacular. Good work.
Steve
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Very nice. I especially like the images of winter?s bite blanches and consuming autumn colors. Not that the culminating line is not good, it is just that the imagery of the first two is spectacular. Good work.
Steve
Comment Written 26-Nov-2008