Reviews from

Hallowseduction

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29 total reviews 
Comment from kassey
Excellent
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First of all I think you really owe her a dinner!!!! That's the least a gentleman can do. I enjoyed your poem, the rhymr and rhythm carried all through and the images very clear, yet I do not think in bad taste considering how you entered it. Excellent work Kay

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2008


reply by the author on 07-Sep-2008
    I will at the first chance she gives me, but I am owed on first. Thank you so very much for your compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from cheyennewy
Excellent
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Hi Mike...don't think I have ever read an erotic Halloween poem before! I really like this...it is clever and well written. You have managed to describe love making without being smutty! Good for you. A great poem for the competition....good luck....chey

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2008


reply by the author on 07-Sep-2008
    Well, it fits with my life very well. lol Thank you so much for your compliments and this review. Much appreciated too.
Comment from Paradox Tremors
Excellent
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Enjoyed this very much. And trust me, I won't think of you in this fashion--I have read others of your poems and know better. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2008


reply by the author on 07-Sep-2008
    Thank you very much for the compliments, good wishes and the compliments. Mike
Comment from Earthwriter
Excellent
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poe mode i like that terminology my friend very nicely done with a well constructed rhyming sceme i really liked the flow of this piece

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2008


reply by the author on 07-Sep-2008
    Thank you very much for your compliments ans this review. Mike
Comment from mushroom
Excellent
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this is pretty good for the halloween contest, it's got a lot of good topical bits running through it and the vampire content is very good too, nice one

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2008


reply by the author on 07-Sep-2008
    Thank you very much for your compliments and this review. Mike
reply by mushroom on 07-Sep-2008
    you're welcome
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
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May I say with some confidence in my memory that I have never ever read Halloween erotica before. LOL This works quite well. Orgasmal bliss festers - love with a vampiress, what a thought! An enjoyable read.

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2008


reply by the author on 07-Sep-2008
    Knowing the way my life goes, nothing is strange to me. This opportunity, just presented itself. Mostly the women here have written the contest pieces of what lurks around from with out. I wanted to capture that strange mood with what lurks within. Again with many meaning, a house, the friend or within ourselves.

    Thank you very much for your compliments and this review. MIke
Comment from Stephen C Winter (Vs
Excellent
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I really enjoyed Hallowseduction, I read it several times and thought it was a light hearted look at the up and coming Halloween, I was not so sure about the 7th verse of BEAT, BEAT,BEAT but I guess that is just a personal taste...It really wasa supper read that flowed with perfection.
Kind regards
Steve

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2008


reply by the author on 07-Sep-2008
    I wanted to dramatically relate the slowing of the woman's heart after the love making. Unfortunately, the spaces to indicate the meter of the slowing were removed, by the editor. Thank you very much for the compliments and this review.
    Mike
Comment from KelinaJ
Excellent
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An excellent tale, fine use of rhythm and rhyme. Interesting image selection and a nice presentation. Only a few grammatic/mechanics issues:

First stanza, third line, "you,ll" should be "you'll".

Fourth stanza, first line, you don't need a comma and a semi-colon to end the same line. Drop one of them.

Fifth stanza, second line, "partners" is possessive so should be "partner's".

Sixth stanza, second line, you don't need a comma after "other's".

Seventh stanza, add a space after the first "Beat!"

Last stanza, I think "Vampiress" should be possessive as the realm appears to belong to her: "the Vampiress' realm".

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2008


reply by the author on 07-Sep-2008
    Thank you very much, I made all of the changes and thank you for the corrections, the compliments and this review.
reply by KelinaJ on 07-Sep-2008
    You're very welcome. I'm glad I could help.

    K
Comment from wirenut
Excellent
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Mike K2,

a lustfilled poem for halloween, spooky enough for vamps and werewolves... maybe a hobgobblin or two


You told to to stay away <===is this right or should it be...
You were told to stay away

you,ll take the life out of me<== replace comma with apostrophe in You'll

Absinthe [<== tough stuff, wormwood and anise, yuck!]

She sleeps into contented deep slumber[ perhaps replacing sleeps with slips would deliver a truer sense here]


well done for the spooky season...
good luck in the contest

rick

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 Comment Written 07-Sep-2008


reply by the author on 07-Sep-2008
    I meant slip and made those changes. Thank you for taking the time to review this, your best wishes and the compliments. Mike