Stalker
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "The Chase"Jim and Lenny are hired to find a stalker
22 total reviews
Comment from nor84
Very well written action scene with realistic dialogue.
ears swiveling for unexpected sounds-- sounds odd for humans.
Suggested additions are in parenthesis, deletions in brackets.
shooting pebbles into the air, the Jag fulfilled it's (its) reason for being
Such exhibition of exceeeive (excessive)
right in front of [what immediately became] a really pissed off cop. He skidded to a stop, gaping out the window in amazement
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reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
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Very well written action scene with realistic dialogue.
ears swiveling for unexpected sounds-- sounds odd for humans.
Suggested additions are in parenthesis, deletions in brackets.
shooting pebbles into the air, the Jag fulfilled it's (its) reason for being
Such exhibition of exceeeive (excessive)
right in front of [what immediately became] a really pissed off cop. He skidded to a stop, gaping out the window in amazement
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
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Hey Nora,
Great comments, for sure. I already got the 'excessive' fixed::blush:: and will get rid of ...what immediately...
Now the dogs ear's are swiveling...Amy, Tony and Cricket are Dobermans.
thanks for the great review and I'm off to repair!
Hugs, Baronness,
Cali Countess
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Aw, I'm just a lowly duchess. I guess that's lower than baroness, isn't it? I haven't been following the story, so I didn't realize there were three dogs. I understood that Amy was a dog.
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Sheesh! I keep telling Madame I need the Royal List!
Comment from Korton
It looks like the girls will have a few tense moments explaining to the patrolman what is going on. My guess is that Amy is more than a little pissed from being thrown around in the rear of the car. My guess is that Jim and Lenny will have an interesting evening as well, probably going back to find their vehicle stripped. Very well done.
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reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
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It looks like the girls will have a few tense moments explaining to the patrolman what is going on. My guess is that Amy is more than a little pissed from being thrown around in the rear of the car. My guess is that Jim and Lenny will have an interesting evening as well, probably going back to find their vehicle stripped. Very well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2008
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2008
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LOL! I have a feeling the 'hood's gonna clear out for a while here, but we will have an interesting confrontation with one intrepid soul in the next chapter!
Thanks for the great comments, my friend.
Hugs,
Gayle
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The demographics must have changed substantially since I worked in Compton.
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Yes, it has. At one time it was largely higher class blacks, educated , business owners and regular working folk with fine neighborhoods and no gangs.
As the money spread down the laders, the wealthy blacks moved to the burbs to get away from the new influx of latinos, much of it an influx of illegals, flooded the neighborhoods. Over the last six or eight years, the latino gangs are in constant stress with the Bloods and the Crips.
Doesn't that sound like fun?
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I'm definitely glad to be back in Oklahoma.