Caduceus
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Cassandra"cardiologist falsely accused of wrongful death
25 total reviews
Comment from Janilou
Compelling reading. I haven't read chapter one, yet but I intend to go back and do so. Very good intertwining of the past and present.
Dialogue is good - very realistic.
Nothing to pick at. No mistakes noted.
Well done.
Jan
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2008
  |
Compelling reading. I haven't read chapter one, yet but I intend to go back and do so. Very good intertwining of the past and present.
Dialogue is good - very realistic.
Nothing to pick at. No mistakes noted.
Well done.
Jan
Comment Written 31-Dec-2007
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2008
-
Hi Jan---Thanks!---Please see my other reply to you.---Doug
Comment from caroljemtp
I really enjoyed ttis chapter and I am looking forward to the next chapter. I think some of the converstion between Cassie and her parents is a little to formal. I think the excitement over the snow could be expressed in less formal grammar. Is cursing really necessary? Your story sounds great wihout it. I wish you the best. I am looking forward to reading more.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2008
 |
I really enjoyed ttis chapter and I am looking forward to the next chapter. I think some of the converstion between Cassie and her parents is a little to formal. I think the excitement over the snow could be expressed in less formal grammar. Is cursing really necessary? Your story sounds great wihout it. I wish you the best. I am looking forward to reading more.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2007
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2008
-
Hi carol-----Thanks for great comments. I'll take a look at dialogue you mentioned. I really appreciate your support. I've been working on this novel on and off for many years. I've always doubted my abilities and the quality of my work and have many long periods away from writing. I've never had any objective feed back until now. You and many other reviewers have given me great support. It will definitely encourage me to complete my manuscript ASAP. There will be approximately 40 chapters. I have only five more to write. Thanks again. I hope you'll find the time to read the entire work.---------Doug
Comment from RaymondJohn
Great lead-in to the next chapter. Even in the nineteen-forties, anyone showing the chronic conditions Cassie indicated would be sent to a specialist. There were many pulmonary conditions that weren't understood at the time. Good characters, situation and dialogue. A fine first chapter. Ray.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2008
|
Great lead-in to the next chapter. Even in the nineteen-forties, anyone showing the chronic conditions Cassie indicated would be sent to a specialist. There were many pulmonary conditions that weren't understood at the time. Good characters, situation and dialogue. A fine first chapter. Ray.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2007
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2008
-
Hi Ray------Thanks for great comments. I really appreciate your support. I've been working on this novel on and off for many years. I've always doubted my abilities and the quality of my work and have many long periods away from writing. I've never had any objective feed back until now. You and many other reviewers have given me great support. It will definitely encourage me to complete my manuscript ASAP. There will be approximately 40 chapters. I have only five more to write. Thanks again. I hope you'll find the time to read the entire work.---------Doug
Comment from dorothy'stalker
I love it Cardiodog. You are coming along very well and seem to me to be an excellent writer with an interesting story to tell; the real reason for people to write. People have a story to tell, and it must come out. I didn't find anything that needs changing and believe it just right as is. I'll go on now to read further.
Dorothy'stalker
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2008
|
I love it Cardiodog. You are coming along very well and seem to me to be an excellent writer with an interesting story to tell; the real reason for people to write. People have a story to tell, and it must come out. I didn't find anything that needs changing and believe it just right as is. I'll go on now to read further.
Dorothy'stalker
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2007
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2008
-
Hi ds-----What wonderful comments! I really appreciate your support. I've been working on this novel on and off for many years. I've always doubted my abilities and the quality of my work and have many long periods away from writing. I've never had any objective feed back until now. You and many other reviewers have given me great support. It will definitely encourage me to complete my manuscript ASAP. There will be approximately 40 chapters. I have only five more to write. Thanks again. I hope you'll find the time to read the entire work.---------Doug
-
Please get on with it and we'll help you along as much as possible.
Dorothy
Comment from Blaidd Drwg
You have a winner here. This is a work I am putting on my recommendation spot in my profile. Your narrative is wonderfully descriptive, painting real pictures; your dialog is believable, not at all forced.
The daddy-daughter spots are great. (daddy-daughter duets are some of the most tender moments in opera)
passed her shoulders - should be "past"
He saw the bows of a pine tree sagging under the weight
of wet snow, as his shoulders now sagged under the burden of worry - perfect imagery.
What a dilemma the para beginning "At times, Carlo felt that he loved Cassie ..." introduces. Feelings that surely all parents of sick children have felt. As for loving our children more than our spouses - I think we're supposed to - at least until they can look after themselves.
This book is gripping, stunning, so well written. You take us there, my friend.
John
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2008
 |
You have a winner here. This is a work I am putting on my recommendation spot in my profile. Your narrative is wonderfully descriptive, painting real pictures; your dialog is believable, not at all forced.
The daddy-daughter spots are great. (daddy-daughter duets are some of the most tender moments in opera)
passed her shoulders - should be "past"
He saw the bows of a pine tree sagging under the weight
of wet snow, as his shoulders now sagged under the burden of worry - perfect imagery.
What a dilemma the para beginning "At times, Carlo felt that he loved Cassie ..." introduces. Feelings that surely all parents of sick children have felt. As for loving our children more than our spouses - I think we're supposed to - at least until they can look after themselves.
This book is gripping, stunning, so well written. You take us there, my friend.
John
Comment Written 31-Dec-2007
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2008
-
Hi again--------You are truly inspiring, John. Please see private message reply I sent. Thanks agin ----Doug
