Searching for wholeness
A poetic journey45 total reviews
Comment from Nicki.B
This is a wonderful poem of transformation for the better.
Love and kindness make the world go around if we all do more of it everyday what a brighter better place the world would be. Well done and best wishes to you for the year ahead.
Nicki
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2025
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This is a wonderful poem of transformation for the better.
Love and kindness make the world go around if we all do more of it everyday what a brighter better place the world would be. Well done and best wishes to you for the year ahead.
Nicki
Comment Written 04-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2025
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Thanks, Nicki. I like how you said a wonderful poem of transformation for the better. What a lovely thing to say.
2025 here we come!
Jesse
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You're welcome, Happy New Year!
Comment from pome lover
well, bravo, and congratulations! That is a wonderful poem and statement.
Change is not easy and positive thinking is a wonderful way to achieve it. Also, having help along the way is a blessing.
Good for you. I wish you all the best in this new year.
Katharine
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2025
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well, bravo, and congratulations! That is a wonderful poem and statement.
Change is not easy and positive thinking is a wonderful way to achieve it. Also, having help along the way is a blessing.
Good for you. I wish you all the best in this new year.
Katharine
Comment Written 04-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2025
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Change is never easy and making changes is the best way to improve ourselves. Thanks for your good wishes for the New Year.
Jesse
Comment from teafor2
Jesse James, as far as I'm concerned you've nailed this...It contains all the
salient sentiments and mensch type comments/characteristics befitting a
holistic New Years resolution. This reads like discovery of a fountain of
awareness that we all should drank from. Thanks for sharing such an awe
inspiring write. Good luck in the contest. teafor2
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2025
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Jesse James, as far as I'm concerned you've nailed this...It contains all the
salient sentiments and mensch type comments/characteristics befitting a
holistic New Years resolution. This reads like discovery of a fountain of
awareness that we all should drank from. Thanks for sharing such an awe
inspiring write. Good luck in the contest. teafor2
Comment Written 04-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2025
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Wow, I am impressed by your words to describe a holistic New Year's resolution. A fountain of awareness to drink from is a lovely way to say you found this inspiring. I am grateful for the six stars and awesome review.
I didn't enter a contest but thanks for the good luck anyway.
Jesse
Comment from visionary1234
Good for you, Jesse - I like the sentiments expressed here, and your personal relationship with your poetry. However, some attention to meter would really improve the work. This shows up even in the first two lines:
I don't like who I was before - perfect iambic tetrameter
Entitled and full of spite - you're missing one unstressed syllable. An easy fix would be:
Entitled and (so) full of spite - perfect iambic tetrameter
da dum da dum da dum da dum
You've set the pattern. Now make the rest in the same pattern or, if you want to vary it, do that in your own pattern/ creation - eg alternate lines of tetrameter with lines of trimeter. But make every verse the same rhythm. THEN you'll have a much better piece.
Best wishes
Sharyn
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2025
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Good for you, Jesse - I like the sentiments expressed here, and your personal relationship with your poetry. However, some attention to meter would really improve the work. This shows up even in the first two lines:
I don't like who I was before - perfect iambic tetrameter
Entitled and full of spite - you're missing one unstressed syllable. An easy fix would be:
Entitled and (so) full of spite - perfect iambic tetrameter
da dum da dum da dum da dum
You've set the pattern. Now make the rest in the same pattern or, if you want to vary it, do that in your own pattern/ creation - eg alternate lines of tetrameter with lines of trimeter. But make every verse the same rhythm. THEN you'll have a much better piece.
Best wishes
Sharyn
Comment Written 04-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2025
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Thanks, Sharyn, for your instructions on writing correct poetry. I consider myself a freestyle poet who writes how the mood and feeling suit me. Rather than pay attention to meter and syllable count I go with the flow of my feelings. I know rhythm and meter are important but not pertinent to getting across the message of the piece. I appreciate your kind gesture though and know your heart and head are in the right place.
Have a happy New Year!
Jesse
Comment from DonandVicki
It seems that you are on to an excellent New Years resolution. A positive attitude is everything. The poem is so well written and is chuck full of positive thoughts.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2025
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It seems that you are on to an excellent New Years resolution. A positive attitude is everything. The poem is so well written and is chuck full of positive thoughts.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2025
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Yes, a positive attitude is everything. To write how I feel is my New Year's resolution.
Enjoy the weekend.
Jesse
Comment from LJbutterfly
As we age and mature, our outlook on life and what we think is important changes.
The Bible says, "When I was a child, I spoke as a child, but when I became a man, I put away childish things." That is what happens to us all. We grow up and rethink what is important. Your poem adequately describes this from your personal standpoint. I wish you peace, health, joy, and love throughout the new year.
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As we age and mature, our outlook on life and what we think is important changes.
The Bible says, "When I was a child, I spoke as a child, but when I became a man, I put away childish things." That is what happens to us all. We grow up and rethink what is important. Your poem adequately describes this from your personal standpoint. I wish you peace, health, joy, and love throughout the new year.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2025
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
I wish I had a six. You said you were going to wrote more and your feelings this year, and you are off to an excellent start! Beautiful and authentic words. I enjoyed reading this and I know others will, too. Happy New Year and best wishes to you!! Alex
One note about this:
then all the hardships
Use than, more than not then.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2025
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I wish I had a six. You said you were going to wrote more and your feelings this year, and you are off to an excellent start! Beautiful and authentic words. I enjoyed reading this and I know others will, too. Happy New Year and best wishes to you!! Alex
One note about this:
then all the hardships
Use than, more than not then.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2025
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Thanks, Alex, for the virtual six. Thanks, also, for the grammar tip.
I will change it from then to than when I get a chance.
I am glad you enjoyed this poem. Happy New Year to you, too!
Jesse
Comment from mermaids
Excellent free verse poem full of emotion and feelings. I like your verse about ethics and kindness mean more to you, it shows growth in your life. This is an uplifting poem for the new year.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2025
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Excellent free verse poem full of emotion and feelings. I like your verse about ethics and kindness mean more to you, it shows growth in your life. This is an uplifting poem for the new year.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2025
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Thank you for seeing this as it should be seen. A free verse poem full of emotions and feelings. Thank you for choosing your favorite verse about ethics and kindness and how they mean more to me.
I am happy this piece shows my growth as a person.
I always aim to be positive in all I do, thanks for noticing this.
Happy New Year!
Jesse
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is another motivating and self-motivating verse for your collection, Jesse! I enjoyed the ride and am so happy that you're feeling positive and putting that darker period behind you. I'm sure this will be a rewarding year, especially after your op in February. Well done! Debbie:)
th(a)n all the hardships
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2025
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This is another motivating and self-motivating verse for your collection, Jesse! I enjoyed the ride and am so happy that you're feeling positive and putting that darker period behind you. I'm sure this will be a rewarding year, especially after your op in February. Well done! Debbie:)
th(a)n all the hardships
Comment Written 03-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2025
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Thanks, Debbie, for your encouraging and motivating review. I am happy you think this piece would fit in with my collection of posts.
I have laser surgery on my left eye this coming Monday. I hope it will help me see clearly with less cloudiness. Then, on to the right knee surgery in February. I am looking forward to both helping me improve. Thanks for the grammar tip, I already changed it.
Your friend,
Jesse
Comment from artisart4u
Yes, accept what you can not change and use the acceptable part, whether it is family or friends as a vehicle to get to a better way of life. It can be hard, but it is harder living with yesterday.
Congratulations on being Recognized.
I like the way you put your rhyming poem together and good luck with it.
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Yes, accept what you can not change and use the acceptable part, whether it is family or friends as a vehicle to get to a better way of life. It can be hard, but it is harder living with yesterday.
Congratulations on being Recognized.
I like the way you put your rhyming poem together and good luck with it.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2025
