Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

I loved the humour in this poem Beth and your rhyming and metre are spot on. Sleep escapes us sometimes as our brains work overtime when we least expect it and then we fall asleep during the day when our clock is out of sync. I can identify with your words, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 11-Oct-2024

Thank you, Dolly. I'm glad you like my sense of humor. I appreciate the review.
Beth

Comment from Begin Again

Excellent

Exactly! I find myself waking up at least two or three times a night with storylines flying through my head... then by 4, I give up, and I'm at the computer again. Hours fly by, and then it's lunch, and I truly want a nap. But let me get comfortable, and sleep escapes me again. You had the hard facts written in your poem.
Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 11-Oct-2024

Thank you, Carol. You have a very active mind that is always anxious to write. When I wake up my mind is getting to bathroom quickly and hoping I'll go back to sleep.
Beth

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

I honestly find myself doing just that when I read or write; especially writing.

That could be part of the reason I've not posted in approx six weeks

Thanks for posting and sharing your rhyme.

Cheers,
John

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 11-Oct-2024

Thank you, John. Maybe focusing our eyes too long in one spot makes us sleepy. I appreciate the review.
Beth

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Well, I think I can relate for last night anyway. Mostly, I sleep like a log but last night I was thinking of all the things I should have done that day - like wish you a Happy Birthday!
It's like Wilbur in Charlotte's Web who couldn't sleep because his "mind was full and his stomach was empty."
Cute poem! Best wishes in the contest!

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 11-Oct-2024

Thank you, Helen. I seem to get sleepy after lunch in spite of having slept okay the night before. I guess older bones need more sleep.
Beth

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

Nice flow and monrhymes, Beth, which I enjoyed. By the third stanza, however, you lost fluency on the 3rd and meaning on the 4th line. Otherwise, a great entry. Good luck! Debbie

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024

Thank you, Debbie. I see what you mean about those lines. I changed them and I hope I made them better.
Beth

Comment from patcelaw

Excellent

This is a nicely, rhymed poem, for the contest and I wish you the best for the contest may you have a lovely week and may your day be blessed. And I do hope you can get back to writing. Patricia.

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024

Thank you, Patricia. I always appreciate your reviews.
Beth

Comment from Marilyn Hamilton

Excellent

An excellent entry for the Rhyming Poem contest. You rhymes wotk very well in this poem and I am chuckling because literally 10 minutes ago I fell asleep reading a review and jerked awake, almost falling off my chair. but if i were to lay down to try to sleep my brain would suddenly be in overdrive! It is maddening. Good luck in the contest.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024

Thank you, Marilyn. If go to the YMCA and work out two hours and then eat lunch, I am definitely going to fall asleep reviewing at the computer.
Beth