Detour
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Missteps (Gretchen)"Two very real women in not so real situation.
23 total reviews
Comment from BethShelby
This is a delightful tale. Do you two know where the other one is going to take this story or to you just read what they write and go with it? I read her to see where she is taking it.
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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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This is a delightful tale. Do you two know where the other one is going to take this story or to you just read what they write and go with it? I read her to see where she is taking it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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We go over preliminary things, but other than that, we just wing it. Thank you for this nice review. Gretchen
Comment from Rachelle Allen
HAHAHHA!!
This is why you're a good writer: such an over-active imagination! Scythe + Coming out of a barn = AMISH SERIAL KILLER!!! Who doesn't know THAT!!
I love your exchanges with Hannah; very, very sweet and perfect - and good foreshadowing crumbs thrown out about Helene. Very nicely done!
I'd change this:
Me, a southern senior turning and running for the main road.
to this, because otherwise, you have a phrase and not a sentence:
Me, a Southern Senior, immediately turned and ran for the main road.
Now, I have a huge surprise for you: I grew UP on a farm! It's true! My family's house was in the middle of our fifty-two acres. We even had a huge barn and a chicken coop across our road. And although it's true that we, ourselves, didn't farm all that land, our neighbors with adjacent land paid us rent to use fifty of our acres as well as half the barn and all of the chicken coop. We used the other half of the barn for our four horses. So JUUUUUUUST when you think you know me oh-so well, I surprise the living daylights out of you!!
I know things like how to recognize rhubarb plants - AND MAKE PIES WITH THEM!! as well as what wild carrot tops look like. I was a MASTER at catching frogs who were sunning themselves on the banks of our creek, and I made "bridges" over the shallower parts of the creek that snaked through our woods by weaving cattail stalks together. I can identify pheasant calls and various forest animals' tracks. I spent my childhood BAREFOOT on these excursions into the wood and through our creek!!
So, Missy Smarty-Pants, don't be judging a leopard by her fancy-schmancy three-inch high heels!!!! xoxoxo
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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HAHAHHA!!
This is why you're a good writer: such an over-active imagination! Scythe + Coming out of a barn = AMISH SERIAL KILLER!!! Who doesn't know THAT!!
I love your exchanges with Hannah; very, very sweet and perfect - and good foreshadowing crumbs thrown out about Helene. Very nicely done!
I'd change this:
Me, a southern senior turning and running for the main road.
to this, because otherwise, you have a phrase and not a sentence:
Me, a Southern Senior, immediately turned and ran for the main road.
Now, I have a huge surprise for you: I grew UP on a farm! It's true! My family's house was in the middle of our fifty-two acres. We even had a huge barn and a chicken coop across our road. And although it's true that we, ourselves, didn't farm all that land, our neighbors with adjacent land paid us rent to use fifty of our acres as well as half the barn and all of the chicken coop. We used the other half of the barn for our four horses. So JUUUUUUUST when you think you know me oh-so well, I surprise the living daylights out of you!!
I know things like how to recognize rhubarb plants - AND MAKE PIES WITH THEM!! as well as what wild carrot tops look like. I was a MASTER at catching frogs who were sunning themselves on the banks of our creek, and I made "bridges" over the shallower parts of the creek that snaked through our woods by weaving cattail stalks together. I can identify pheasant calls and various forest animals' tracks. I spent my childhood BAREFOOT on these excursions into the wood and through our creek!!
So, Missy Smarty-Pants, don't be judging a leopard by her fancy-schmancy three-inch high heels!!!! xoxoxo
Comment Written 07-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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I stand corrected and humble. And since we're being so "honest", I used to run track...not. I probably wouldn't have made it 50 feet. I would have pooped my pants and called it a day. Lol. That should come in handy for you with the far life. But, a work of advice, unless you're aerating the fields, I'd tuck those heels away. Thank you for this. Gretchen.
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I'm pretty sure they're ruined and that you'll be seeing me in Amish clothing and footwear next chapter.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Great scene. Fabulous writing. You portray emotions very well. I can feel your nervousness. And can just see Rachelle all muddied.
And better yet, I can not see the next step - no predictability.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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Great scene. Fabulous writing. You portray emotions very well. I can feel your nervousness. And can just see Rachelle all muddied.
And better yet, I can not see the next step - no predictability.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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Thank you so much, Wayne. This is some seriously fun writing to do. No holds barred. I appreciate this awesome review and the sixth star. Gretchen