Summer's Lazy Rhythm
Tanka poetry27 total reviews
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello, Melissa!
Just popped in for a few moments, and what a delightful surprise to find you and your exquisite Tanka!
Yes to its form, message, and presentation!
I love everything about it!
Hoping all is well with you and yours!
Fondly,
diane
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2024
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Hello, Melissa!
Just popped in for a few moments, and what a delightful surprise to find you and your exquisite Tanka!
Yes to its form, message, and presentation!
I love everything about it!
Hoping all is well with you and yours!
Fondly,
diane
Comment Written 15-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2024
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Hello Diane. Thank you for your wonderful review. Hopefully my summer will be lazy and languid. At least I am hoping it will be. Hugs!!
Melissa
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Hello Diane. Thank you for your wonderful review. Hopefully my summer will be lazy and languid. At least I am hoping it will be. Hugs!!
Melissa
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I must have been desperate to enter a tanka. Generally, I leave these sorties by themselves but a Pious thought came to me after feeling overwhelmed with salacious thought. Good luck on the challenge.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2024
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I must have been desperate to enter a tanka. Generally, I leave these sorties by themselves but a Pious thought came to me after feeling overwhelmed with salacious thought. Good luck on the challenge.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2024
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Thank you Tom for the lovely thoughts I popped over to your site and read your Tanka. Too funny and I love the pic... you were stunning! A fun post. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Melissa
Comment from BethShelby
This sounds like a winner for a tanka poem. What a great word picture of those clouds projected onto the ground by the sun as the shadows move along with the breeze.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2024
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This sounds like a winner for a tanka poem. What a great word picture of those clouds projected onto the ground by the sun as the shadows move along with the breeze.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2024
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Hello Beth. Thank you so much for the wonderful review and generous stars! Hugs!
Melissa
Comment from patcelaw
This is a very well written TANKA poem and I wish you the very best with all of your writings. It is amazing to me. The shadows that are cast by the clouds in the sky. Patricia .
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2024
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This is a very well written TANKA poem and I wish you the very best with all of your writings. It is amazing to me. The shadows that are cast by the clouds in the sky. Patricia .
Comment Written 15-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2024
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Hello Patricia. Thanks so very much!!
Melissa
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Hello Patricia. Thanks so very much!!
Melissa
Comment from RodG
Your tanka captures the essence of that photo beautifully.
You make it easy to visualize the clouds "flitter[ing] across the verdant plains."
Your use of L-alliteration and consonance really helps create a mellow mood.
Rod
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2024
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Your tanka captures the essence of that photo beautifully.
You make it easy to visualize the clouds "flitter[ing] across the verdant plains."
Your use of L-alliteration and consonance really helps create a mellow mood.
Rod
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2024
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Thank you so much, Rod. I'm glad you caught the mood of the lazy summer days that we always enjoy. Much appreciated!!
Melissa
Comment from phill doran
Ah, lovely writing Melissa,
You've painted this with a vibrant and consistent palette ("lush/languidly/lazy" and "flitter/floating/rhythm" - these, to my reading, endorse each other; they have the same weight and similar tones).
Equally the "verdant" land and "isolated" clouds: the precision of these words work to help the reader visualize the moment clearly.
You are working on a such a small canvas but there's not a wasted word here.
Great stuff! This is one to cut out and keep.
I wish you well.
cheers
phill
(Maybe "to" summer's rhythm? Just a thought)
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2024
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Ah, lovely writing Melissa,
You've painted this with a vibrant and consistent palette ("lush/languidly/lazy" and "flitter/floating/rhythm" - these, to my reading, endorse each other; they have the same weight and similar tones).
Equally the "verdant" land and "isolated" clouds: the precision of these words work to help the reader visualize the moment clearly.
You are working on a such a small canvas but there's not a wasted word here.
Great stuff! This is one to cut out and keep.
I wish you well.
cheers
phill
(Maybe "to" summer's rhythm? Just a thought)
Comment Written 15-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2024
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What an encouragement from you to read this review, Phill. Your words make me rethink the terms... weight, visualization, and tone. I've neglected to think along those terms when I write lately. I wrote this verse before the photo, but I think on this one, the photo is important for the visualization. So appreciate your seeing the bigger picture when it comes to my writing. Thank you.
Melissa
Comment from Jesse James Doty
I like how you describe clouds flittering through the sunlight in summer's lazy rhythm. You don't mention sunlight but it is suggested nonetheless. It is an excellent display of the lazy rhythms of summer.
The artwork increases the ambiance of the poem.
Jesse
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2024
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I like how you describe clouds flittering through the sunlight in summer's lazy rhythm. You don't mention sunlight but it is suggested nonetheless. It is an excellent display of the lazy rhythms of summer.
The artwork increases the ambiance of the poem.
Jesse
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2024
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Hello Jesse. Thanks so much! I am experiencing the first few days of summer's freedom and wanted to write about those feelings. Much appreciated, my friend.
Melissa
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Hello Melissa.
Now this is the person I know. Experiencing summer's bliss.
Jesse