Changed Man?
I Am A Changed Man.29 total reviews
Comment from Sandollar
I found this both serious and humorous. It was written with such flair, and some of your colorful expressions are actually familiar to me.
However, I was thrown off by his decision to become a priest. How does becoming a priest translate to having power? I would have liked that explained.
I found one error.
I barely remembered strangled her in my drug-induced haze. ( A phrase or a word is missing for strangled to make sense.)
That being said this was an excellent story. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2024
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I found this both serious and humorous. It was written with such flair, and some of your colorful expressions are actually familiar to me.
However, I was thrown off by his decision to become a priest. How does becoming a priest translate to having power? I would have liked that explained.
I found one error.
I barely remembered strangled her in my drug-induced haze. ( A phrase or a word is missing for strangled to make sense.)
That being said this was an excellent story. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2024
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Should have been strangling. Great catch.
Many priest in the big cities are quite powerful. The bigger the church the more power. In the bigger parishes they run schools and can have 200 nuns under them.
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Thank you for answering my question. You cleared up a lot.
Comment from nomi338
One would think that women would be smart enough to recognize the danger in making fun of a man penis when he is in the process of getting ready to have sex. He is highly motivated and making fun of his penis is a downer that could anger him no end. I am not transferring blame, no man should murder a woman out of shame or embarrassment, but ladies, let's be smart enough to keep the snide remarks to yourself..
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2024
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One would think that women would be smart enough to recognize the danger in making fun of a man penis when he is in the process of getting ready to have sex. He is highly motivated and making fun of his penis is a downer that could anger him no end. I am not transferring blame, no man should murder a woman out of shame or embarrassment, but ladies, let's be smart enough to keep the snide remarks to yourself..
Comment Written 18-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2024
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Great point! Probably a younger inexperienced woman? Thank you for the review!
Comment from BermyBye50
This is a excellent entry in the Rebirth contest. I trust this is a fictional story and not based on actual events. If not, it is a very disturbing account of a serial killer whose punishment is long overdue.
Your opening captured this reader immediately and the contrasting ending is an unexpected surprise.
All the best in the contest,
BermyBye50
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2024
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This is a excellent entry in the Rebirth contest. I trust this is a fictional story and not based on actual events. If not, it is a very disturbing account of a serial killer whose punishment is long overdue.
Your opening captured this reader immediately and the contrasting ending is an unexpected surprise.
All the best in the contest,
BermyBye50
Comment Written 17-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Eugene! Hopefully others like it as much as you did.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A story of a serial killer at work here and I loved the humour at the end too, an entertaining post and I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x x x x x
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2024
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A story of a serial killer at work here and I loved the humour at the end too, an entertaining post and I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x x x x x
Comment Written 17-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2024
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Thank you Miss Dolly. I am too scared to look. It will fall where it falls! Appreciate you.
Comment from Wendy G
Oh, what a twist at the end! You did an excellent job with the topic, and wrote your story very well, maintaining the interest throughout. Sending you best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2024
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Oh, what a twist at the end! You did an excellent job with the topic, and wrote your story very well, maintaining the interest throughout. Sending you best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 16-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2024
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Thanks, Wendy. It is doing well! Appreciate your kind review!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Well this one wakes you up! It's got a slightly recognisable feel about it, I may be wrong:) well constructed and written clearly and engagingly from the start with an extra nice twist at the end. Love the humour too. Looks like a winner to me! Good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2024
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Well this one wakes you up! It's got a slightly recognisable feel about it, I may be wrong:) well constructed and written clearly and engagingly from the start with an extra nice twist at the end. Love the humour too. Looks like a winner to me! Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 16-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2024
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We shall see! I recognize you by your style as well. tee hee
Comment from Gunner Lil
A most refreshing story than some of the others I read.
An easy read that had me wanting more. Great sensory details. A very good flow and an easy pace.
The ending is super.
Good Luck and thank you!
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2024
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A most refreshing story than some of the others I read.
An easy read that had me wanting more. Great sensory details. A very good flow and an easy pace.
The ending is super.
Good Luck and thank you!
Comment Written 16-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2024
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Thank you! I am glad you enjoyed it. We shall see how it holds up!
Comment from hullabaloo22
Well done for putting in the warnings! In spite of the serious nature of the write there was a sort of tongue-in-cheek lightness that fit the story so well. Loved the twist at the end.
Well done.
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reply by the author on 16-Apr-2024
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Well done for putting in the warnings! In spite of the serious nature of the write there was a sort of tongue-in-cheek lightness that fit the story so well. Loved the twist at the end.
Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2024
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Thank you! I thought it was a good twist myself.
Comment from Sallyo
There's a mighty twist! Very clever, an tightly written. I suggest a small change to this passage below because the rest is grammatical.
When I woke, she was lying right there beside me on the sand. Her lifeless eyes staring into mine.
When I woke, she was lying right there beside me on the sand, her lifeless eyes staring into mine.
OR
When I woke, she was lying right there beside me on the sand. Her lifeless eyes stared into mine.
Good luck in the contest. I reckon this one is a strong entry.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2024
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There's a mighty twist! Very clever, an tightly written. I suggest a small change to this passage below because the rest is grammatical.
When I woke, she was lying right there beside me on the sand. Her lifeless eyes staring into mine.
When I woke, she was lying right there beside me on the sand, her lifeless eyes staring into mine.
OR
When I woke, she was lying right there beside me on the sand. Her lifeless eyes stared into mine.
Good luck in the contest. I reckon this one is a strong entry.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2024
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Awesome. Thanks for the great fix.