Panpipes
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Panpipes - Chapter 15"A Novella
26 total reviews
Comment from Sugarray77
Hello Tony, I had been meaning to read the past chapters to catch up, but I'm grateful you included a synopsis in the notes and I can pick the story up from here. You have done a great job of crafting colorful characters with emotions and quirks. The exotic setting (at least to this American) is very interesting and eye opening with the cultural differences. I look forward to reading more of this story as it progresses.
Melissa
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Hello Tony, I had been meaning to read the past chapters to catch up, but I'm grateful you included a synopsis in the notes and I can pick the story up from here. You have done a great job of crafting colorful characters with emotions and quirks. The exotic setting (at least to this American) is very interesting and eye opening with the cultural differences. I look forward to reading more of this story as it progresses.
Melissa
Comment Written 16-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Thanks so much for dropping by to review this chapter, Melissa. I'm glad you enjoyed it. All the best, Tony.
Comment from phill doran
Hello Tony,
Just checking in - still here, still reading.
This chapter reads like the gathering of strings before a large explosive twist, dragging us off, stage left. Can't wait.
Good, tight writing - the Chinese flower girl is a deft sketch in the margins. So much local flavour dropped in and around, all very lightly done yet adding colour and authenticity.
Stick with it, this is a ripping yarn...
cheers
phill
I'd use staph' with an apostrophe, but I expect the short form is a self-contained common word these days.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Hello Tony,
Just checking in - still here, still reading.
This chapter reads like the gathering of strings before a large explosive twist, dragging us off, stage left. Can't wait.
Good, tight writing - the Chinese flower girl is a deft sketch in the margins. So much local flavour dropped in and around, all very lightly done yet adding colour and authenticity.
Stick with it, this is a ripping yarn...
cheers
phill
I'd use staph' with an apostrophe, but I expect the short form is a self-contained common word these days.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Good to hear from you, Phill. I appreciate your comments and the sixth star. There may be a twist or two yet to come. Ayesha seems to be gaining a bit of spunk.
All the best, Tony.
Comment from Shane A Levell
Dear tfawcus,
Great chapter!!! It makes me want to read more!!! If I had to criticize something about it, maybe it would be having more detail. It's really hard to say something bad about it, because it was really good!!! Have a good day and God bless!!!
Sincerely, Shane A Levell
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Dear tfawcus,
Great chapter!!! It makes me want to read more!!! If I had to criticize something about it, maybe it would be having more detail. It's really hard to say something bad about it, because it was really good!!! Have a good day and God bless!!!
Sincerely, Shane A Levell
Comment Written 16-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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It was very good of you to drop by and review this chapter, Shane. I greatly appreciate your comments and award of a sixth star. The balance between detail and plot progress is always a difficult one. It's good to know what you thought and I'll bear it in
mind during my next round of editing. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from A.A. Ron
I felt the confusion and uncertainty within Ayesha as she navigated her situation in a foreign land. I found Ayesha's dialogue forced or unnatural with the opportunity for cultural miscommunication not completely reflected.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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I felt the confusion and uncertainty within Ayesha as she navigated her situation in a foreign land. I found Ayesha's dialogue forced or unnatural with the opportunity for cultural miscommunication not completely reflected.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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I value your comments highly and will earmark this chapter for review. Dialogue is a make-or-break element of a good story.
Comment from royowen
The chapter centres around Ayesha, and she's still trying to make amends and to bless and help those with whom meant something to her, people who had shown her the difference between an open culture and a deeply flawed western one, back to face the music, but she's a capable street fighter, beautifully written Tony, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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The chapter centres around Ayesha, and she's still trying to make amends and to bless and help those with whom meant something to her, people who had shown her the difference between an open culture and a deeply flawed western one, back to face the music, but she's a capable street fighter, beautifully written Tony, blessings Roy
Comment Written 16-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Thanks for your continued encouragement, Roy. The more I travel, the more optimistic I become about the human spirit and about a seldom reported universal kindness.
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I agree, there are some things common to all, I?ve found the poorer people are, the kinder they sre.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Things do not seem to be going well for Ayesha, but they are much worse for Bapit and Chanarong as both are very ill. Her return to Sydney will give them time to get better, hopefully.
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reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Things do not seem to be going well for Ayesha, but they are much worse for Bapit and Chanarong as both are very ill. Her return to Sydney will give them time to get better, hopefully.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Yes, time for their recovery and time for her to sort a few things out. Thanks for your comments. All good wishes, Tony
