Death, Crimes and Misdemeanors A-Z
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Francesca Finds Frank"Nefarious Deeds
24 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A colourful array of different suitors came to call here and your descriptions gave this post an optimistic theme as finding the right man takes time and patience, much enjoyed Karen, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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A colourful array of different suitors came to call here and your descriptions gave this post an optimistic theme as finding the right man takes time and patience, much enjoyed Karen, love Dolly x
Comment Written 02-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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Did you suspect they weren't real? Thanks for the read and kind words. Karen
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reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
People didn't understand she was nuts and they were dolls.They never went anywhere; she never talked about going out on a date anywhere. No talk about dressing up. You never heard the "men's" dialogue. No breakups, no fights. When they were together it was like no one else was in the room?
She did all the taking. No food is ever mentioned.
They are never out in public? People are telling me I was too subtle. I have not been particularly known for that. It all seems perfectly clear in my brain. Do you have suggestions? I am open, and listening. Karen
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I think only you know how this story is told Karen x x x
Comment from Wayne Fowler
What was with all the out-of-state boys/men? No takers locally? (smiley face here) But Frank-in-the box seems just fine. (Is he a toad?)
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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What was with all the out-of-state boys/men? No takers locally? (smiley face here) But Frank-in-the box seems just fine. (Is he a toad?)
Best wishes.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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Did you suspect they weren't real? Thanks for the read and kind words. Karen
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reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
People didn't understand she was nuts and they were dolls.They never went anywhere; she never talked about going out on a date anywhere. No talk about dressing up. You never heard the "men's" dialogue. No breakups, no fights. When they were together it was like no one else was in the room?
She did all the taking. No food is ever mentioned.
They are never out in public? People are telling me I was too subtle. I have not been particularly known for that. It all seems perfectly clear in my brain. Do you have suggestions? I am open, and listening. Karen
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You personified the dolls extremely well, detailing their behavior. Maybe a line in the Curtis Allen section that she decided to 'shelve' him and look for another boyfriend.
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okay,and I changed the picture,
Comment from jim vecchio
I never had more than one girl friend at a time, with much time in between. When I met my wife and knew she'd be mind, I was nervous about meeting her folks. I asked her what her father thought of me. Rhonda said, "He said at least he has a job!'
Thank you for a lighthearted look at a woman and her various male companions and the writing I've grown to expect from you!
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reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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I never had more than one girl friend at a time, with much time in between. When I met my wife and knew she'd be mind, I was nervous about meeting her folks. I asked her what her father thought of me. Rhonda said, "He said at least he has a job!'
Thank you for a lighthearted look at a woman and her various male companions and the writing I've grown to expect from you!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
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Did you suspect they weren't real? Thanks for the read and kind words. Karen
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reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
People didn't understand she was nuts and they were dolls.They never went anywhere; she never talked about going out on a date anywhere. No talk about dressing up. You never heard the "men's" dialogue. No breakups, no fights. When they were together it was like no one else was in the room?
She did all the taking. No food is ever mentioned.
They are never out in public? People are telling me I was too subtle. I have not been particularly known for that. It all seems perfectly clear in my brain. Do you have suggestions? I am open, and listening. Karen
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I did not see this as subtle at all! I kind of saw her as a modern Scarlett O'Hara, attracting all the male trophies she could, then seeing them rejected, like Brando not accepting his Oscar. Perhaps you could have played up her vanity a bit, but I thought your words were sufficient. I remember when I lost my college love, how broken I was, but she did not seem that upset about it, so vanity must play as large part of her being.
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I never suspected they weren't real. I enjoyed the tale!
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I put in more clues, I will have to beat people over the head from now on. :-( Karen
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She had no vanity sweetie she was a looney tune.
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I always try to be polite when it comes to the females, but I did catch that about her in the story.
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I was flummoxed that nobody "got it". In my brain it was so obvious. We can forget that the reader is not privy to our
Brain. :-) Karen
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One thing's for sure: Your brain's a lot mightier than mine. I might try wearing a "Space For Sale" sign and make some money out of it!
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Having a big brain has plenty of drawbacks too. I wrote a story from a child's view point. I have never done it before. can I email it to you to get your opinion? Karen
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Hmmm. Okay, I have now read this three times, and I swear I still don't get it. They're obviously boy dolls, but we don't know Francesca's age, so she could be five and her mother had a congenital heart condition.
These are two spags I found, though:
1) no-it-all should be "know-it-all" and
2) Finally, her mother gave in and let Bernard come back to see her, and things settled down. Bernard did not say bad things about her mother. He understood she was protecting **me.** I THINK THIS IS SUPPOSED TO READ "HER" OR EVEN "HER DAUGHTER" BECAUSE PRIOR TO AND AFTER, YOU ALWAYS USE "HER" RATHER THAN "ME."
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reply by the author on 02-Feb-2024
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Hmmm. Okay, I have now read this three times, and I swear I still don't get it. They're obviously boy dolls, but we don't know Francesca's age, so she could be five and her mother had a congenital heart condition.
These are two spags I found, though:
1) no-it-all should be "know-it-all" and
2) Finally, her mother gave in and let Bernard come back to see her, and things settled down. Bernard did not say bad things about her mother. He understood she was protecting **me.** I THINK THIS IS SUPPOSED TO READ "HER" OR EVEN "HER DAUGHTER" BECAUSE PRIOR TO AND AFTER, YOU ALWAYS USE "HER" RATHER THAN "ME."
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Comment Written 02-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2024
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Okay, I will go back and make adjustments. I wrote that she is you. That means she is a
grown-up nutjob. :-)
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You read the first draft. The corrected one is slightly different. Clearer. I think. :-)
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OMG. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Got it. Thanks for the clarification there. For whatever it's worth, though, others are equally perplexed because I'm getting private messages to that effect, and I had nothing I could say in your defense other than, "I worry she's lost it!" This is what happens, Karen, when you suddenly go all subtle on us. We become totally perplexed.
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Hmmm. Well, it's kind of getting there. But it's still a little vague. What if you name her newest guy "Ken?" That would clinch it.
Also, the picture: what's with the peacocks?
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Also, you did that "me" instead of "her" thing again here:
He had worn out his welcome in my books.
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Okay Ms. Picky I am going back into the maw. :-)
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Back seat drive much? I couldn't find a picture I liked. I didn't want to put the picture of a doll there. You think I should? Karen
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Should I really Change it to "Francesca finds Ken" ? Karen
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reply by the author on 03-Feb-2024
People didn't understand she was nuts and they were dolls.They never went anywhere; she never talked about going out on a date anywhere. No talk about dressing up. You never heard the "men's" dialogue. No breakups, no fights. When they were together it was like no one else was in the room?
She did all the taking. No food is ever mentioned.
They are never out in public? People are telling me I was too subtle. I have not been particularly known for that. It all seems perfectly clear in my brain. Do you have suggestions? I am open, and listening. Karen
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Look at the picture now. I was trying to be suave and clever, looks like i just confused people. Tell me if think it will help. Karen
