Advice to New Fanstorians
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "With Due Respect"Tips and advice for the new members
30 total reviews
Comment from royowen
You've certainly been here long enough to know what's what, and your article is a great addition to the ones already written, they should add these to the pool of advice for newbies, or anyone really, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
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You've certainly been here long enough to know what's what, and your article is a great addition to the ones already written, they should add these to the pool of advice for newbies, or anyone really, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 20-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
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Thank you, Roy, for reviewing, and yes, I agree, it is advice for all of us, and a reminder to myself as well.
Wendy
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Well done
Comment from Navada
This is beautifully expressed, Wendy, and gets to the heart of it. I've been relatively lucky so far not to receive too many harsh reviews or responses, but there have been a couple. I've tried to be gracious, to ask questions rather than jump to conclusions, and try to model the kind of feedback I would like to receive. Thanks so much for sharing these thoughts and I hope they are on high rotation on the site for as many as possible to read and consider. :)
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
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This is beautifully expressed, Wendy, and gets to the heart of it. I've been relatively lucky so far not to receive too many harsh reviews or responses, but there have been a couple. I've tried to be gracious, to ask questions rather than jump to conclusions, and try to model the kind of feedback I would like to receive. Thanks so much for sharing these thoughts and I hope they are on high rotation on the site for as many as possible to read and consider. :)
Comment Written 20-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
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That's such a lovely review, and a good way to manage difficult reviews. I had one review, saying that a piece of mine was too long, too boring, but he kept reading till the end to see if it got any better, but it didn't. I still received a five star review. Lol. I simply reminded him that he was free to stop reading at any time (but I guess he wanted the payout). He did later apologise. Every other reviewer seemed to genuinely enjoy that piece. I still smile at the memory from ages ago. All types ....
Thank you again. Wendy
Comment from karenina
The clarity and tone with which you address each point is pristine. You do not lecture, judge, or point fingers...
Your own writing and reviewing is the perfect example of how to address the art of writing while being mindful of the heart of the writer.
A wise teacher once told me there is a world of difference between, "I know you're not stupid" and, "You are very smart!'
A reviewer can " leave" the station with either type of "ticket" -- but the "journey" of feedback and dialogue is quite different!
I enjoy when a reviewer shares how a post has affected them -- or shares a memory it triggered.
Likewise, when a reviewer points out errors, edits needed, or a deviance from form, I am better for it.
Sarcasm, rudeness, or personal attacks should never be tolerated.
Report them to Tom. He will take action!
Cut and paste reviews are disrespectful. Period.
I do frequently scan previous reviews before pointing out an error.
If it has been addressed I try not to repeat the "nudge" to correct.
The only other thought I hope to share is that all reviewers take notice of our very young writers here.
When I see a young teen post and read some reviews that would discourage a seasoned writer it makes me cringe.
Recently I heard from a fourteen year old who left, thinking he had no talent...
As a teacher I'm sure you could offer more constructive ways to approach, nurture and help our youngest members to grow!
Great chapter, Wendy.
Your reputation precedes you!
I knew it would be!
Karenina
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
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The clarity and tone with which you address each point is pristine. You do not lecture, judge, or point fingers...
Your own writing and reviewing is the perfect example of how to address the art of writing while being mindful of the heart of the writer.
A wise teacher once told me there is a world of difference between, "I know you're not stupid" and, "You are very smart!'
A reviewer can " leave" the station with either type of "ticket" -- but the "journey" of feedback and dialogue is quite different!
I enjoy when a reviewer shares how a post has affected them -- or shares a memory it triggered.
Likewise, when a reviewer points out errors, edits needed, or a deviance from form, I am better for it.
Sarcasm, rudeness, or personal attacks should never be tolerated.
Report them to Tom. He will take action!
Cut and paste reviews are disrespectful. Period.
I do frequently scan previous reviews before pointing out an error.
If it has been addressed I try not to repeat the "nudge" to correct.
The only other thought I hope to share is that all reviewers take notice of our very young writers here.
When I see a young teen post and read some reviews that would discourage a seasoned writer it makes me cringe.
Recently I heard from a fourteen year old who left, thinking he had no talent...
As a teacher I'm sure you could offer more constructive ways to approach, nurture and help our youngest members to grow!
Great chapter, Wendy.
Your reputation precedes you!
I knew it would be!
Karenina
Comment Written 20-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
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Thank you so much for your insightful and thoughtful review, and for your huge encouragement. I hoped I wasn't upsetting people. An excellent point about nurturing and encouraging the younger ones. There is no need for any writer to discourage or belittle anyone else; to me that's totally inappropriate. Have you written a chapter yet? (Sorry, I can't remember), but this would be an excellent point to add to the book.
I actually added a couple of sentences to say people shouldn't judge others as to the rankings and how to move up (payments they give for reviews, or the frequency of postings etc) as we don't know their personal (or emotional) situation, and also that sharing is a good thing when it accompanies (but doesn't replace) a review, as it develops and enriches our friendships. Whew. Sorry if I rambled.
Thank you again.
Wendy
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I've started a chapter several times! Most of my suggestions and observations have been covered...
I'll start a new list, including AI reviews and consideration of our younger members, and see if on Monday I might be able to come up with something!
Love yours though!
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Wendy,
I would say you've covered a multitude of issues regarding reviewing. I suppose I'm guilty of responding too much when I review some folks. Often a story I've read reminds me of something that happened that I like to share in my response to the writer. I know I'm long winded. Honestly, most of what I read I enjoy. Some folks have an unusual amount of errors, but if the content is good, I will still give a five. At times I think some reviewers are searching for errors to point out, and if that happens, you can't really enjoy the offering. I know that there are a lot of teachers on this site, and they can't help but point out errors. If others have pointed out errors prior to my review, I see no need to repeat what has been said already. In some cases I don't know if something is right or not, so I can't comment on it. In any event, this was thorough gal. Thanks for sharing.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
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Hello Wendy,
I would say you've covered a multitude of issues regarding reviewing. I suppose I'm guilty of responding too much when I review some folks. Often a story I've read reminds me of something that happened that I like to share in my response to the writer. I know I'm long winded. Honestly, most of what I read I enjoy. Some folks have an unusual amount of errors, but if the content is good, I will still give a five. At times I think some reviewers are searching for errors to point out, and if that happens, you can't really enjoy the offering. I know that there are a lot of teachers on this site, and they can't help but point out errors. If others have pointed out errors prior to my review, I see no need to repeat what has been said already. In some cases I don't know if something is right or not, so I can't comment on it. In any event, this was thorough gal. Thanks for sharing.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
Comment Written 20-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
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Ah Tom, don't change. You are fine, and you always review and then add your sharing part, and it is always relevant and good to read. That is an integral part of the friendships which develop on-site. (I've added a bit to that effect, as it is important.) There are some, however,who ignore the writing and don't review, and it comes across as one-up-manship. You are right too, about content. I'm the same re content - it should be engaging and thoughtful, but it doesn't have to be grammatically perfect to get a five. Sometimes I am so engrossed that I don't think about anything else, but other times errors jump out because they have made it difficult to understand. Reviewing is actually quite hard to do well. (Sorry, I am getting a bit long-winded here too! Lol)
And thank you so much for reviewing my work, you brought up some excellent points.
Wendy
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Hello Wendy,
you put my mind to ease. I would love to meet you some day. I don't suppose you have any plans to come to Alaska any time soon? Our summer would be your winter, and you might find it pleasant.
Comment from damommy
I've had reviews marked down because the reader didn't like what I wrote. It isn't fair to judge a post by that. Review for the merit only. I've never received a hateful response except for one time. I ignored it because it wasn't a true critique.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
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I've had reviews marked down because the reader didn't like what I wrote. It isn't fair to judge a post by that. Review for the merit only. I've never received a hateful response except for one time. I ignored it because it wasn't a true critique.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
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Thank you very much, Yvonne. I've had a few unpleasant reviews, and most of those people wrote later and apologised for over-stepping the mark, which was decent of them, but what they said was extremely hurtful, untrue, and plain ignorant. We need to watch what we say and how we say things. Rudeness is never justifable and shouldn't be tolerated. I appreciate your taking the time to read and review this one.
Wendy
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Many times, text sound harsher than the spoken word. But I know you can tell the difference.
Comment from Paul McFarland
Everybody should read this post, Wendy. These guidelines are great. I have experienced many of the things that you write about. My eyelids are closing. I must head off to bed.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
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Everybody should read this post, Wendy. These guidelines are great. I have experienced many of the things that you write about. My eyelids are closing. I must head off to bed.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing, and I am glad you found them helpful. Sleep well, and keep well.
Wendy
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
Please know Wendy, this is one of the most well written and meaningful posts I have read in a long time, and there are so many good ones. I agree wholeheartedly with all that you said, and you said it so graciously.
Most of the time I tell people that I feel I have received such an added education since I have been here. Not for flattery, but for the wonderful feedback I receive.
It is true that is the only way to grow. Not that we don't all like to hear nice things, but they do come if you work hard enough.
I don't know how anyone could have said this more kindly, respectfully and with more merit than what you said or how you phrased it. And I most certainly agree that there is a kind way to say anything. Sometimes it is even necessary to tell someone that what you are saying is with the utmost respect as we don't want things to be taken wrong, as we cannot detect tone.
Respect has always been my number one thing, and to treat others how I would like to be treated, and to do what God sent me here for in the first place, that is to try be a blessing to others. It wasn't long after I got here that I realized that I was the one who was blessed.
Thank you again for writing this lovely post and I am so very happy that I checked it out this evening. Every word you said shows that I have always been right in thoughts of you being such a gracious and compassionate woman. I know I have told you that before, but it is worth saying again. Great job!
Debi
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
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Please know Wendy, this is one of the most well written and meaningful posts I have read in a long time, and there are so many good ones. I agree wholeheartedly with all that you said, and you said it so graciously.
Most of the time I tell people that I feel I have received such an added education since I have been here. Not for flattery, but for the wonderful feedback I receive.
It is true that is the only way to grow. Not that we don't all like to hear nice things, but they do come if you work hard enough.
I don't know how anyone could have said this more kindly, respectfully and with more merit than what you said or how you phrased it. And I most certainly agree that there is a kind way to say anything. Sometimes it is even necessary to tell someone that what you are saying is with the utmost respect as we don't want things to be taken wrong, as we cannot detect tone.
Respect has always been my number one thing, and to treat others how I would like to be treated, and to do what God sent me here for in the first place, that is to try be a blessing to others. It wasn't long after I got here that I realized that I was the one who was blessed.
Thank you again for writing this lovely post and I am so very happy that I checked it out this evening. Every word you said shows that I have always been right in thoughts of you being such a gracious and compassionate woman. I know I have told you that before, but it is worth saying again. Great job!
Debi
Comment Written 19-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
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Thank you very much for this amazing review, and also for the precious gift of six stars, which I value a great deal. Your words are very encouraging, and I hope I have likewise encouraged people to be kind and respectful, while still being honest and helpful, and that people will both review and respond in ways that are encouraging, not hurtful. I added a couple of bits too, about not judging others for their choices and decisions, and that sharing in a review is an integral and precious part of the friendships formed, but it shouldn't replace reviewing.
Thank you again, Wendy
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How true and I do like that you added that about not judging someone else. There is too much in the world the way it is.
What some don't get is that when you gossip by what you think you know, things do get back to the one you judged and you have no idea how badly it can hurt someone. Statistics of suicides prove that.
Reviewing is important, yes, but for some it may not be a strong point or isn't easy physically or mentally and so they can do only a certain amount. So they try to do their part in other ways, such as giving back, making someone else's day, greeting new people and taking them under their wings so they have someone there for them.
Most here know if they don't review, they will have to pay out of pocket and that is not fun.
But sometimes it is a necessary choice. And at least it benefits others. I know for myself, with my health being bad, and after having shingles in both my eyes, a lot of damage was done. So all of my writing is done on paper instead of on the keyboard, so that my allotted screen time could be used in thanking reviewers, some reviewing and helping others.
But even doing that I struggle tremendously and takes me much longer than it would take most others. But it's important to me.
It would be nice to live in a world where people didn't judge, because to live without a conscience we are nothing. I also would add that if you hear the gossip, don't jump on the bandwagon, or believe everything you hear. Give others the benefit of the doubt as we have no idea what they are going through. Build up instead of tearing down.
Thanks again, Wendy, for your wisdom and kindness in your post and your notes.
Comment from Rachelle Allen
I am bestowing six stars because of how comprehensive and error-free this post is. (Do I follow directions well, Wendy, or WHAT?!)
I have been in the process of writing a chapter this entire week on reviewing, and now I understand why it wasn't coming together for me: because G-d knew that you had a WAY, way better offering in the works!
I'm effusive; that is the teacher in me. So when I tell you that this is FS gold, I honestly do mean it. It is NOT flattery. It is me noticing and wanting you to know that I saw it for its substantial meritorious worth.
You have covered every last aspect of reviewing with precision and excellence and presented it in a cogent, orderly fashion, tempered with your trademark warmth and graciousness. I so wish this had been available when I was a FS newbie!
I'm going to print it out for myself, in fact, even though I'm a quasi-veteran here, to use as a reminder for when I'm feeling less-than-gracious. Smug and/or contentious reviews make it tough for me when trying to follow this advice of yours: "If the writer doesn't like the review, s/he should simply thank the reviewer for his/her thoughts, and leave it be." I'm amenable to any suggestion another writer makes regarding my work, but if they're smug or condescending while doing so, then, for me, all bets are off. Still, I want you to know that I will give thought to this part that you've offered here. I'm not dismissing it, because I honestly do respect your opinion and hold you in high regard, Wendy. (Again: truth, not flattery) Sometimes, though, people do not deserve our graciousness (and I consider silence in the face of the examples I just mentioned as a form of graciousness). I'm pretty sure THAT's the teacher in me, too. I would file it under "We are always responsible for our words." For me, smug/contentious comments cannot get a Mulligan.
So, Wendy, honestly, thank you for all the time and thought and wisdom that went into drawing up these extremely valuable guidelines. You have done a superlative job, and it's especially meaningful because you one hundred percent DO practice what you've "preached" here. You are the poster girl for being respectful and understanding, and I admire you for it.
xoxoxo
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
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I am bestowing six stars because of how comprehensive and error-free this post is. (Do I follow directions well, Wendy, or WHAT?!)
I have been in the process of writing a chapter this entire week on reviewing, and now I understand why it wasn't coming together for me: because G-d knew that you had a WAY, way better offering in the works!
I'm effusive; that is the teacher in me. So when I tell you that this is FS gold, I honestly do mean it. It is NOT flattery. It is me noticing and wanting you to know that I saw it for its substantial meritorious worth.
You have covered every last aspect of reviewing with precision and excellence and presented it in a cogent, orderly fashion, tempered with your trademark warmth and graciousness. I so wish this had been available when I was a FS newbie!
I'm going to print it out for myself, in fact, even though I'm a quasi-veteran here, to use as a reminder for when I'm feeling less-than-gracious. Smug and/or contentious reviews make it tough for me when trying to follow this advice of yours: "If the writer doesn't like the review, s/he should simply thank the reviewer for his/her thoughts, and leave it be." I'm amenable to any suggestion another writer makes regarding my work, but if they're smug or condescending while doing so, then, for me, all bets are off. Still, I want you to know that I will give thought to this part that you've offered here. I'm not dismissing it, because I honestly do respect your opinion and hold you in high regard, Wendy. (Again: truth, not flattery) Sometimes, though, people do not deserve our graciousness (and I consider silence in the face of the examples I just mentioned as a form of graciousness). I'm pretty sure THAT's the teacher in me, too. I would file it under "We are always responsible for our words." For me, smug/contentious comments cannot get a Mulligan.
So, Wendy, honestly, thank you for all the time and thought and wisdom that went into drawing up these extremely valuable guidelines. You have done a superlative job, and it's especially meaningful because you one hundred percent DO practice what you've "preached" here. You are the poster girl for being respectful and understanding, and I admire you for it.
xoxoxo
Comment Written 19-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
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Lol. Wow, that IS high praise indeed. Thanks a million for the nice words, and also for the six stars. All greatly appreciated.
I was sure I would have upset half the community in one way or another. Re the contentious reviews, I am still learning to hold back, especially when people are downright rude, and unjustifiably so. Perhaps they've had a bad day. I have had three unsolicited apologies from people who've realised they've overstepped. But sometimes they're just looking for an argument, and I'll reply once and then leave it. (There is an old saying "Let the fool have the last word!", and I've been the fool more times than I care to admit. So now, I just shrug it off). Some people can't be reasoned with because they're always right and nothing I say will make a difference. I found your review and stars greatly encouraging. Thanks again.
Wendy
Comment from lyenochka
Thank you for adding to this book, Wendy! Your ideas are well expressed and I agree with you about the cut and paste replies. It's an important part of developing relationships with our reviewers.
I always consider the educational background of the writer so we can never apply the same standards across all writers.
And we talked about the ranking being highly influenced by the number of reviews and frequency of posting.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
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Thank you for adding to this book, Wendy! Your ideas are well expressed and I agree with you about the cut and paste replies. It's an important part of developing relationships with our reviewers.
I always consider the educational background of the writer so we can never apply the same standards across all writers.
And we talked about the ranking being highly influenced by the number of reviews and frequency of posting.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
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Thank you Helen. I have added a couple of bits (A certain amount of sharing is fine, because it reflects the friendships formed on the site, but it shouldn't replace the review or be presented as one-up-manship, and also that we shouldn't judge how people prioritise their "postings' frequency and payments" re rankings. Everyone has different resons for the decisions they make in those areas. Hope that is helpful too. Thank you for your thoughtful review, and for the good points you brought up.
Wendy
Comment from BermyBye50
Wendy,
I see that this entry is a chapter in the book Advice to New Fanstorians. This is a helpful overview and a comprehensive commentary of the purpose of Fanstory. Both writers a reviewer after reading this would be mindful to take note of their reason for their membership on this site.
Thank you for sharing,
Eugene
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
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Wendy,
I see that this entry is a chapter in the book Advice to New Fanstorians. This is a helpful overview and a comprehensive commentary of the purpose of Fanstory. Both writers a reviewer after reading this would be mindful to take note of their reason for their membership on this site.
Thank you for sharing,
Eugene
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
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Thank you very much, Eugene. It's good to see you again, and I hope you are keeping well.
Wendy
