What We See
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "What We See - Chapter 2"A wrongly accused teacher reinvents his life
29 total reviews
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Yup you are up in "the pickle as they say", I think I need to read your first chapter to understand what happened. But the situation looks pretty good bad. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Yup you are up in "the pickle as they say", I think I need to read your first chapter to understand what happened. But the situation looks pretty good bad. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Thank you, Iza. An unfortunate situation, to be sure. I hope you will enjoy this story. It's my first non-golf novel and will be quite different from the others.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this addition to the story with us. I enjoyed reading. David is in a horrible situation and will be tried by the public as guilty. I sure hope it will be possible to prove Tina is lying. This is a good write.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Thank you for sharing this addition to the story with us. I enjoyed reading. David is in a horrible situation and will be tried by the public as guilty. I sure hope it will be possible to prove Tina is lying. This is a good write.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Thanks so much, Barbara. The public always seems to assume the accused party is guilty, and this can be devastating to the reputation of an innocent man until (and If) the truth comes out. Even then, folks aren't always convinced, and a pall can hang over the person for life.
What we see initially is not always what's accurate. (Little hint about the main theme of the novel, which you'll get a better inkling of in the next few chapters.)
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Well, my take is you are headed in the right direction, but what's with the cat at the end of this chapter? Kinda surprised me. Where are you headed.
Guess I have to wait and see.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Well, my take is you are headed in the right direction, but what's with the cat at the end of this chapter? Kinda surprised me. Where are you headed.
Guess I have to wait and see.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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My family complained that there was no cat in my last novel like there had been in previous ones, so a cat makes a reappearance in this one. It's also to shed some light on David's personality that he is a cat lover. It will only be a minor role.
Comment from jmdg1954
These situations could really make one second guess a decision to become a teacher today. In reality, one minor slip up, one wrong look at a student and God for bid should you touch one, could be life altering. Just as David is starting to find out.
Good chapter, Jim. It seemed like the next logical move. Hopefully Bobby has his back though his one line during their conversation- I know you wouldn't get involved in something so stupid. [Me, maybe, ] implying he would be vulnerable to a situation.
Looking forward to the next chapter...
John
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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These situations could really make one second guess a decision to become a teacher today. In reality, one minor slip up, one wrong look at a student and God for bid should you touch one, could be life altering. Just as David is starting to find out.
Good chapter, Jim. It seemed like the next logical move. Hopefully Bobby has his back though his one line during their conversation- I know you wouldn't get involved in something so stupid. [Me, maybe, ] implying he would be vulnerable to a situation.
Looking forward to the next chapter...
John
Comment Written 10-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Thanks so much, John. I think many men do shy away from teaching, especially at the grade school level, for this reason. Such a shame it's come to this. Even if you've done nothing, you're still vulnerable from a dishonest student.
Comment from royowen
Boy, I was only talking about these possibilities concerning male teachers, in fact there's a lack of males, especially young males, because of exactly this particular problem, most people lean towards the female version,mind even if nothing is proven, the mud stifles, great post Jim, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Boy, I was only talking about these possibilities concerning male teachers, in fact there's a lack of males, especially young males, because of exactly this particular problem, most people lean towards the female version,mind even if nothing is proven, the mud stifles, great post Jim, blessings Roy
Comment Written 10-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Absolutely right, Roy. Even if unproven, reputations can be ruined. Such a shame it's this way. I can certainly understand why males are spurning this profession. Thanks for your insightful review.
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Dirty minds
Comment from Frank Malley
In the paragraph that begins, "A good looking guy..." there's a problem with sense and syntax. The "good looking guy" is not the one who sees it that way; the design of this sentence makes it ambiguous and not constructive to the story.
In the chapter recap, Suzie is referenced as 'which,' which isn't correct. I suspect that the author made changes to the sentence and failed, as often happens, to notice a flaw in construction and sense.
This chapter addresses a very important problem. Having been a teacher myself, I have seen careers ruined by dishonest student claims about a teachers sexual misconduct. This problem has had some very sad consequences. Teachers have been forced to restrain themselves from making very natural and positive gestures and touchings, like a comforting touch to a troubled student's shoulder or a pat on a striving student's back. In the effort to limit abuse, we've shut down a basic positive feature of human encounters.
This author is skilled and has a great thesis in this chapter. The imperfections are small. He might be able to weave the same threads of sense in a briefer form, which is somewhat critical for a contemporary writer; we're all impatient.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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In the paragraph that begins, "A good looking guy..." there's a problem with sense and syntax. The "good looking guy" is not the one who sees it that way; the design of this sentence makes it ambiguous and not constructive to the story.
In the chapter recap, Suzie is referenced as 'which,' which isn't correct. I suspect that the author made changes to the sentence and failed, as often happens, to notice a flaw in construction and sense.
This chapter addresses a very important problem. Having been a teacher myself, I have seen careers ruined by dishonest student claims about a teachers sexual misconduct. This problem has had some very sad consequences. Teachers have been forced to restrain themselves from making very natural and positive gestures and touchings, like a comforting touch to a troubled student's shoulder or a pat on a striving student's back. In the effort to limit abuse, we've shut down a basic positive feature of human encounters.
This author is skilled and has a great thesis in this chapter. The imperfections are small. He might be able to weave the same threads of sense in a briefer form, which is somewhat critical for a contemporary writer; we're all impatient.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Thank you very much, Frank, for your excellent, insightful review and for the good catches. The first sentence you mentioned made no sense as written and has since been corrected. In the recap, the "which claimed" was supposed to be referring to "a different version" rather than Suzie; however, to avoid confusion, I have changed that as well.
I agree with you that it is such a shame that teachers, especially males, have to be so guarded these days and avoid touching, which is such a human thing to do. It's too bad that it's come to that.
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Be well, Jim. Frank
Comment from Mrs. KT
Good morning, Jim,
Whew!
Frighteningly realistic.
Having taught high school and college for 38+ years, your story resonates with me.
If I may, the following paragraph could be streamlined a bit:
Back in my room, I grabbed my coat and briefcase, turned off the lights, and headed quickly to the parking lot, where I got in my car and sat there at the wheel. I felt like I was in shock. (I sat there in shock: light-headed and my heart was racing.) I was light-headed, and my heart was racing. This was nuts. It took me a long time just sitting there to settle down--only slightly--and begin thinking about this rationally.
Very much enjoyed.
Looking forward to your next installment!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Good morning, Jim,
Whew!
Frighteningly realistic.
Having taught high school and college for 38+ years, your story resonates with me.
If I may, the following paragraph could be streamlined a bit:
Back in my room, I grabbed my coat and briefcase, turned off the lights, and headed quickly to the parking lot, where I got in my car and sat there at the wheel. I felt like I was in shock. (I sat there in shock: light-headed and my heart was racing.) I was light-headed, and my heart was racing. This was nuts. It took me a long time just sitting there to settle down--only slightly--and begin thinking about this rationally.
Very much enjoyed.
Looking forward to your next installment!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 10-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Thanks so much, Diane. I like your suggestion and will make the change. Sometimes I get a little wordy, especially in a first draft. When it's finished, I always go back and try to tighten things up on a second draft. I appreciate all suggestions of this nature.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nicely written. Good plot development.
It's all laid out for us with no good options. And of course David has no substantial savings for a lawyer or protracted unemployment. His immediate future looks bleak.
(It's hard to wish you 'best wishes' with David in such trouble!)
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reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Nicely written. Good plot development.
It's all laid out for us with no good options. And of course David has no substantial savings for a lawyer or protracted unemployment. His immediate future looks bleak.
(It's hard to wish you 'best wishes' with David in such trouble!)
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Thanks, Wayne. Right on all counts. He's in a hell of a mess. Reputations are so easily destroyed and so tough to build back up.
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lawyer, polygraph, positive press release/interview.... or run?
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Good thoughts but none of the above. I'm going to take a little different tack.
Comment from Navada
What a purrfect finish to a challenging day! :) I like the way you're filling in a bit more of the backstory and we're developing some suspicions as to how this will all play out.
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reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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What a purrfect finish to a challenging day! :) I like the way you're filling in a bit more of the backstory and we're developing some suspicions as to how this will all play out.
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Comment Written 10-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Thanks, Navada. My family lamented the fact that there were no cats in my last novel, so I put my own cat, Archie, in this one. So glad you're enjoying the story. This is my first non-golf novel, and it's a little more difficult for me to write.