Comment from prettybluebirds

Excellent

I think your writing forte is fine. You have written a wonderful, touching story for the contest. I thought it was nonfiction until I checked. I wish you tons of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

I appreciate your most kind and encouraging review. ann

Comment from Lisasview

Exceptional

Oh gosh, I can not stop crying...and I honestly thought the entire story was from real life experiences!!! So wonderful...
As I read every word I did find two minor spelling errors.. Hope you are okay with my letting you know....Now I need to go back into your story and find them...Oh gosh I can not find the first spelling error that I found when I read your story...I reread your story several times...I am sure spell check will discover it...
Also, you say Molly here... but we do not know who Molly is until much later in your story. Perhaps Molly, the dance teacher...or..
She kept her eyes on Molly...

Her is the second minor spelling error I found..

I talked about the real meaning of Christman and .... sure you meant an..s not a n...

I really loved this story..so so well written Ann...
Lisasview

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks so much! This was written rather quickly and, apparently I posted too quickly to catch my errors. I appreciate your eagle eye and will look again immediately. ann

reply by Lisasview on 14-Dec-2023

I am so upset that I can not find the second one...It is in the first part of your story Ann,
Wow you wrote it quickly... that is rather amazing ... really so good...
Lisa

Comment from Jacob1395

Excellent

This was a really heart warming story, and I am glad that Rita had her happy ending with Sarah. I could feel the loss Rita had been through, especially with the thought of not being able to have children and the sudden loss of her husband as well. I really enjoyed reading it, and I'm sure it'll do well in the contest.

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks so much. I appreciate your thoughts and your generous review.

Comment from Navada

Exceptional

Fictional or not, this story made me cry. You painted such a convincing picture of your various characters and their motivations, and the saving of Sarah is so beautifully painted as a saving in both directions. Kudos.

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks for reading and your most generous review!!! I appreciate your words. ann

Comment from karenina

Excellent

Six virtual stars! (Oh, I'm always out too soon!)

I'm A blubbering puddle of grandma mush after reading this...

It's such a testament to love, and there always being room in a heart to grow more joy!

Here's to CPS, which often gets a bad rap. Here's to Foster Parents, who are unsung heroes, here's to "family" however God chooses to pit it together.

Here's to YOU...

You've heightened my Christmas spirit...

Your "forte'" is writing from your heart every single time you post!

Merry Christmas!


Love this!

Karenina

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks so much! I enjoyed putting this together, but I think I posted it a little too soon to catch my spag --- such as missing words. Thanks so much for catching an error. ann

reply by karenina on 14-Dec-2023

I do it all the time... Amazing how little things slip through...

(I will edit my review to omit the suggestions)

Great story!

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

Ann.
I never read the top line so as I'm reading the story I sincerely felt it was non fiction. You wrote it so believable. And you call yourself a 'fiction is not my forte', writer. I can only dream to be as strong in skills as you've proven here.

I enjoyed your story, immensely.

Cheers,
John

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks so much!!! I am flattered and very pleased that you enjoyed my story. ann

Comment from gramalot8

Excellent

For not being your forte, I'd say you fid a wonderful job with writing in first person. Your dialogue and interactions between characters made the story very believable.
My husband and I were also foster parents for many ye. It was indeed with challenges but also very rewarding.
Thanks for sharing this story with us.

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks so much for reading and sharing your thoughts with me. I appreciate your time and your words. ann

Comment from Rachelle Allen

Exceptional

I have news for you: fiction is ABSOLUTELY your forte. This one had me sobbing out loud. Absolutely beautiful story. So heartwarming...and believable, too. Great dialog. Wonderful characters. I absolutely loved this. Thank you for this wonderful Christmas gift...as I sit here in the glow of my menorah on the seventh night of Hanukkah. (Love is interdenominational.)

I have a sneaking suspicion that this is the winner of the contest! Good luck.
xoxox

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Rachelle, you are too kind!! What a generous and encouraging review. I so appreciate. You are so correct in that love is interdenominational. We have a Jewish couple in our family and they always join us for Christmas Eve. Even though Hanukkah is over by then, they bring a Menorah and share their celebration again with us. Thanks again for the review. ann

reply by Rachelle Allen on 14-Dec-2023

You're welcome! My Christmas Eve tradition is to play Christmas songs all night on the piano at my husband's (enormous) family's get-together.I absolutely LOVE Christmas music!

reply by Rachelle Allen on 14-Dec-2023

PS Did you know that next year, the first night of Hanukkah is December 24th??! That's later than I have EVER known it to be...and I'm 67! Still, I prefer that to the year it was the next day after Thanksgiving.

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

No, I did not know that. I always think of Hanukkah being done before Christmas. That will be perfect for our Jewish interlude on Christmas Eve.

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

I think you may be over-estimating my post in the contest --- but I hope not!!! Thanks again. We only have about 18 to 20 on Christmas Eve because some of the older grandchildren have to go to the other grandparents on Christmas Eve in order to have Christmas morning with us. We have usually 30 to 25 for Christmas Morning breakfast. I love it. It has been at my house for the last many years, but this year, it is moving to my oldest daughter's house. I sorta love that too! lol

reply by Rachelle Allen on 14-Dec-2023

Ah, the passing of the baton!! That's huge. I hope it's a great memory for you all. xoxo

reply by Rachelle Allen on 14-Dec-2023

You're right; usually it is. Next year is definitely an anomaly.

Comment from davisr (Rhonda)

Excellent

Ann, you did a wonderful job with your forever family Christmas story. It's a great piece of fiction you did a smash up job of making seem non fiction. I could just picture the sweet little girl so in need of love and care and the lady so sad and in need of someone to love.

Thanks for the tender smile,

Hugs,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 13-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Rhonda, thanks so much for your kind and encouraging review. ann

Comment from Douglas Goff

Excellent

This is a wonderful Christmas story contest entry.

First, bless you for being Foster Parents. Every kid needs love.

My only suggestion would be to use contractions in dialogue. It is just how everyone talks:

First line:

know you are awake."
(You're.)

There are some 'I am' spots as well.

Just my two cents.
Loved it.
D

 Comment Written 13-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

I appreciate your two cents! This was such an easy story to write that I think I posted it too early -- I did not catch all of my spags. I will immediately review the post. thanks again. ann