Panpipes
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Panpipes - Chapter 3"A Novella
28 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Bapit doesn't seem to know the police are looking for him, but he is having the time of his life until Ayesha bets all her money on his brother. Sadly, the elephant is back in the hands of his sadistic trainer. Well written and entertaining.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2023
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Bapit doesn't seem to know the police are looking for him, but he is having the time of his life until Ayesha bets all her money on his brother. Sadly, the elephant is back in the hands of his sadistic trainer. Well written and entertaining.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2023
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Thanks for your review and comments, Carol. It may be that Bapit is in over his head. We'll soon find out.
Comment from Gloria ....
I thought your shift to an alternate point of view with the police was very well done and managed to keep the eyes of suspicion for the murder trained straight on Ayesha; who has proved to be a woman of many resources. Also an interesting segue back to Abharamu who will figure with some prominence into the novel.
Your skillful use of humour reveals a little more of Bapit and Ayesha's character and yields a perfectly acceptable opportunity for a budding accidental romance.
Your vivid action and settings descriptions draw a reader right into your story.
Much enjoyed, Tony.
Gloria
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2023
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I thought your shift to an alternate point of view with the police was very well done and managed to keep the eyes of suspicion for the murder trained straight on Ayesha; who has proved to be a woman of many resources. Also an interesting segue back to Abharamu who will figure with some prominence into the novel.
Your skillful use of humour reveals a little more of Bapit and Ayesha's character and yields a perfectly acceptable opportunity for a budding accidental romance.
Your vivid action and settings descriptions draw a reader right into your story.
Much enjoyed, Tony.
Gloria
Comment Written 11-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2023
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Thanks, Gloria, for these most affirming comments. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from Pam (respa)
This is a very good chapter, Tony. I feel like I got to know most of the main characters very well. The story flows smoothly from beginning to end, and holds the reader's interest. Somchai does what he can to get the best price for the necklace, knowing it was really worth more. Bapit has a good idea about the jijab, and when Ayesha opened the bag, it was very beautiful.
After all of those preparations, it was time for the fight, and a female was among those participating. I don't know if that is standard practice or not, but she seemed ready to take things on. However, Ayesha wasn't thrilled with what she was seeing and observing so I imagine she was very glad Bapit was there, too. The ending shows her true nature.
Very well done.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2023
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This is a very good chapter, Tony. I feel like I got to know most of the main characters very well. The story flows smoothly from beginning to end, and holds the reader's interest. Somchai does what he can to get the best price for the necklace, knowing it was really worth more. Bapit has a good idea about the jijab, and when Ayesha opened the bag, it was very beautiful.
After all of those preparations, it was time for the fight, and a female was among those participating. I don't know if that is standard practice or not, but she seemed ready to take things on. However, Ayesha wasn't thrilled with what she was seeing and observing so I imagine she was very glad Bapit was there, too. The ending shows her true nature.
Very well done.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2023
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My daughter, Anna, had a photographic assignment back in 2012, taking promotional shots for a Muay Thai club in Thailand. Muay Thai or Kickboxing or the Art of the Eight Limbs is an extraordinary sport using feet, knees, elbows, and hands. A veritable whirlwind of attack! There are certain rituals involved, which I expand on when it's Klahan's turn to fight. Anna lived on Phuket Island for a few months and we visited her and stayed a fortnight. She told me that some of the fighters were pre-teen and that a few girls had now taken up the sport. I gather that there was some international concern expressed about the younger fighters.
It is the national sport of Thailand, a martial art with roots originating from military use dating back to around the 13th century.
I referred to it briefly in The French Letter, which I self-published under the title Into the Lion's Den in August 2020.
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And, after all that, thank you very much for your review and the shining cluster of stars. Greatly appreciated as always. Best wishes, Tony
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Tony.
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Thanks for sharing everything, Tony. I guess you had a good source for the story.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Your descriptive prose is superb, Tony, and I particularly like the evocative description of the rain, really helping to convey a sense of the setting and climate. There is quite a romance blossoming now between Bapit and Ayesha. I don't think he can believe his luck but he's a good guy and that caring side has always been very evident. Just as well, as it happens because Ayesha has put herself in some danger, not least from being captured by the police but her bet also might backfire on her. An excellent, enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing. Debbie
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2023
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Your descriptive prose is superb, Tony, and I particularly like the evocative description of the rain, really helping to convey a sense of the setting and climate. There is quite a romance blossoming now between Bapit and Ayesha. I don't think he can believe his luck but he's a good guy and that caring side has always been very evident. Just as well, as it happens because Ayesha has put herself in some danger, not least from being captured by the police but her bet also might backfire on her. An excellent, enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing. Debbie
Comment Written 11-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2023
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Thanks for this lovely review, Debbie. So glad you're still enjoying the story. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Jim Wile
Gosh, I love how you put things: "...the road became a seething mass of dancing water sprites, gurgling with spiteful laughter. They gushed out of gutters and leapt upon a cavalcade of wild water horses charging down towards the sea." So beautifully descriptive.
Now we've got a little romance starting to brew while the cops are closing in. It's getting exciting. Seems like Ayesha may be a little impulsive with her bet, but it showed some loyalty anyway. It will be interesting to see how Bapit responds to that. - Jim
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2023
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Gosh, I love how you put things: "...the road became a seething mass of dancing water sprites, gurgling with spiteful laughter. They gushed out of gutters and leapt upon a cavalcade of wild water horses charging down towards the sea." So beautifully descriptive.
Now we've got a little romance starting to brew while the cops are closing in. It's getting exciting. Seems like Ayesha may be a little impulsive with her bet, but it showed some loyalty anyway. It will be interesting to see how Bapit responds to that. - Jim
Comment Written 11-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2023
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Thanks, Jim. Glad you liked the description of the storm. We've had several similar ones here in Adelaide over the past few days. Impulsive seems to be Ayesha's middle name. Could cause a few problems soon...
Comment from Navada
I'm interested to see the developing trust blossoming between Ayesha and Bapit and I liked that there are some girls with some spirit in the adventure! I'm looking forward more than ever to see how Bapit's brother performs now that Ayesha stands to make some money from the bout - although it looks as though the greasy gambler would not be a good person to get offside ...
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2023
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I'm interested to see the developing trust blossoming between Ayesha and Bapit and I liked that there are some girls with some spirit in the adventure! I'm looking forward more than ever to see how Bapit's brother performs now that Ayesha stands to make some money from the bout - although it looks as though the greasy gambler would not be a good person to get offside ...
Comment Written 11-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2023
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Thanks very much for the review. Delighted you're still engaged by the story. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from T.A. Walk
Although this isn't my type of story, I found it quite good. Your dialog and characters are full and real.
No SPAG critique. You squared away everything nicely before posting.
I appreciated the summary introduction as well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2023
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Although this isn't my type of story, I found it quite good. Your dialog and characters are full and real.
No SPAG critique. You squared away everything nicely before posting.
I appreciated the summary introduction as well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2023
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Many thanks for taking the time to review. I appreciate your positive comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I hope Ayesha didn't bring the attention of the police to herself. That wouldn't at all be good. I like Bapit but have a feeling Chanin is going to cause him problems. This is a very good write and I really like the story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2023
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I hope Ayesha didn't bring the attention of the police to herself. That wouldn't at all be good. I like Bapit but have a feeling Chanin is going to cause him problems. This is a very good write and I really like the story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2023
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Thanks very much for the review, Barbara Delighted you're still engaged by the story. Best wishes, Tony
