The Smart Intruder
Art by granddaughter, Kenzie Jo35 total reviews
Comment from jim vecchio
Those last three words made your story! I wonder when they invented the telephone if they ever thought it would become such a symbol of fright? I enjoyed your little trick or treat tale and the extra bonus of the video. The song is a memory of my past and especially the movie clips. I've seen every one and many are in my dvd collection today. Since I won't be going out for Halloween, your story was my treat for the season!
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Those last three words made your story! I wonder when they invented the telephone if they ever thought it would become such a symbol of fright? I enjoyed your little trick or treat tale and the extra bonus of the video. The song is a memory of my past and especially the movie clips. I've seen every one and many are in my dvd collection today. Since I won't be going out for Halloween, your story was my treat for the season!
Comment Written 29-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Awe Jim, thank you so much. Yes, a little non-fiction combined with fiction.
I made up all the stuff about landlines having those functions, so I hope nobody took that serious and goes looking for one that's like a smartphone. LOL.... Thanks so much for the awesome review and comments, my sweet friend. And also the honor of your six stars.
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It's always an honor for me to read and review your words!
Comment from GWHARGIS
Okay, now I was sitting back all comfortable this fine Sunday morning and suddenly I'm sitting on the edge waiting for something logical to explain all the creepy stuff. I was not expecting the roar. You got me, Debi. And, I am forever grateful. Happy Halloween. Gretchen
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Okay, now I was sitting back all comfortable this fine Sunday morning and suddenly I'm sitting on the edge waiting for something logical to explain all the creepy stuff. I was not expecting the roar. You got me, Debi. And, I am forever grateful. Happy Halloween. Gretchen
Comment Written 29-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Hahaha, Gretchen, you once said you were so happy to see me do something a little darker, and I appreciated that so much I thought I'd try it again. It also gives me a chance to use some of Kenzie's darker art pieces.
A little non-fiction combined with fiction, but I am not used to writing fiction, so I am glad you liked it.
I made up all the stuff about landlines having those functions, so I hope nobody took that serious and goes looking for one that's like a smartphone. LOL.... Thanks so much for the awesome review and comments, my dear friend.
Comment from pome lover
well, you certainly ended the story unexpectedly! You danced!
I'll tell you, if that skull phone is a real thing, with all the gadgets, this ole gal will steer clear of it, thank you very much!
That is some story, (you mixed fiction with real life, it seems; hmmm) oh, and great art work by your granddaughter! Do tell her a friend said so, please.
Happy Halloween, Miss Debi! :)
Katharine
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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well, you certainly ended the story unexpectedly! You danced!
I'll tell you, if that skull phone is a real thing, with all the gadgets, this ole gal will steer clear of it, thank you very much!
That is some story, (you mixed fiction with real life, it seems; hmmm) oh, and great art work by your granddaughter! Do tell her a friend said so, please.
Happy Halloween, Miss Debi! :)
Katharine
Comment Written 29-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Awe, Miss K, you are the best! Thank you so much. Yes, a little non-fiction combined with fiction, but I am not used to writing fiction, so it is what I have to do.
I made up all the stuff about landlines having those functions, so I hope nobody took that serious and goes looking for one that's like a smartphone. LOL.... Thanks so much for the awesome review and comments, my sweet friend.
One chapter left on your book and I am not wanting it to end, so I am treating it like it's the last piece of turtle cheesecake in the fridge. I don't want to finish it fast, I want to savor it when I can enjoy every last bite.
And Kenzie already knows all about you, as I tell her who my best friends are here. She always reads the reviews and says she says, grandma, I feel like I know some of them and they are friends of mine too. Btw, she says she thinks you are so sweet.
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please tell her thank you, and I'm sure she is, too!
And thank YOU for your wonderful words about my book. Makes me really feel good!!!!!
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In your poem, there are times I need to reference you, but your name has three syllables and in order to get it somewhat bouncy, I am using 8 syllable lines instead of 14, so is there anyway for the poem I can use K or Kay or anything w one syllable?
I worked on it till 4 this morning. (Im a night owl)
Thinking of making it a Merry~go~Rhyme.
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oh Debi, you shouldn't have worked so late. yes! my nickname is Kay!!! I've just been using Katharine because I like it and nobody ever calls me by it, so Kay is perfect.
Comment from John Ciarmello
Oh, Debi! Hahaha!
What a delightfully humorous ending for such an intense, spooky story!
I couldn't imagine where the last line was going as I read. It gave me a much-needed chuckle, my friend!
Happy Halloween!! I loved it! Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Oh, Debi! Hahaha!
What a delightfully humorous ending for such an intense, spooky story!
I couldn't imagine where the last line was going as I read. It gave me a much-needed chuckle, my friend!
Happy Halloween!! I loved it! Best, JohnC
Comment Written 29-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Hey John, I thank you so much. This gave me a chance to use some of Kenzie's darker art pieces.
Yes, a little non-fiction combined with fiction, but I am not used to writing fiction, so I am glad you liked it.
I made up all the stuff about landlines having those functions, so I hope nobody took that serious and goes looking for one that's like a smartphone. LOL.... Thanks so much for the awesome review and comments, my dear friend.
Comment from Sally Law
Oh, so the phone was haunted! I love the build up to the suprise at the end. I did not see that coming! Spooky good, my friend. A delightful entry for the Halloween Story contest.
Sending you my best today as always, and my very best wishes in the upcoming contest.
BBB XOs
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Oh, so the phone was haunted! I love the build up to the suprise at the end. I did not see that coming! Spooky good, my friend. A delightful entry for the Halloween Story contest.
Sending you my best today as always, and my very best wishes in the upcoming contest.
BBB XOs
Comment Written 29-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Hey sweet sally! I thank you so much. Yes, a little non-fiction combined with fiction story.
I made up all the stuff about landlines having those functions, so I hope nobody took that serious and goes looking for one that's like a smartphone. LOL.... Thanks so much for the awesome review and comments, along with the sweet six stars, my sweet friend.
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Most welcome, my sweet friend. My pleasure as always. I'm sure you're getting last minute orders for the skull phone for the Halloween rush! Hahaha!
Love ya! Sal XOs
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Oh my gosh, Debi, that is hilarious! What a series of events, and the phone is downright creepy! I wouldn't have understood it, either. Good thing you have such a patient son. I'll have to share the story with my own son. He'll get a kick out of it.
And, you tell the story so well! Flawless and exciting, my friend.
Have a great Sunday,
Hugs,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Oh my gosh, Debi, that is hilarious! What a series of events, and the phone is downright creepy! I wouldn't have understood it, either. Good thing you have such a patient son. I'll have to share the story with my own son. He'll get a kick out of it.
And, you tell the story so well! Flawless and exciting, my friend.
Have a great Sunday,
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment Written 29-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Awe, Rhonda, I thank you so much. This gave me the chance to use some of Kenzie's darker art pieces. Yes, a little non-fiction combined with fiction, but I am used to usually only writing non-fiction, so I am glad you liked it.
I made up all the stuff about landlines having those functions, so I hope nobody took that serious and goes looking for one that's like a smartphone. Lol.
Thanks so much for the honor of your six stars and the awesome review and comments, my sweet friend.
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My dear, you were definitely convincing as a fiction writer. I was about to order a smart landline, lol. I wouldn?t put it past them to come up with one.
I loved the part about the phone still ringing after it was unplugged.
Beautiful job!
Comment from Terry Broxson
LOL, I love the ending! I bet you could do a mean Monster Mash back in the day! I have got to the point where it is okay for the phone, TV, and, Car are all smarter than me. Happy Halloween! Well done. Terry.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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LOL, I love the ending! I bet you could do a mean Monster Mash back in the day! I have got to the point where it is okay for the phone, TV, and, Car are all smarter than me. Happy Halloween! Well done. Terry.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Hey Terry, I thank you so much. This gave me a chance to use one of Kenzie's darker art pieces. Yes, a little non-fiction combined with fiction, but I am not used to writing fiction, so I am glad you liked it. I loved the ending too, because it was the extreme genius of a good friend.
I made up all the stuff about landlines having those functions, so I hope nobody took that serious and goes looking for one that's like a smartphone.
I could do a mean twist and even a footloose type dance but can't remember if I ever did the monster mash. But Sally and I can still do a mean cha cha cha together. LOL
Thanks so much for the awesome six stars, review and comments, my dear friend.
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LOL!
Comment from JSD
Lovely spooky tale. I knew you were asking for trouble with a decorative phone like that! You write this really well, of course, and take the reader into the mystery very successfully. Well done! x
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Lovely spooky tale. I knew you were asking for trouble with a decorative phone like that! You write this really well, of course, and take the reader into the mystery very successfully. Well done! x
Comment Written 29-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Hey John, I thank you so much. It gave me a chance to use a piece of Kenzie's darker art pieces. Yes, a little non-fiction combined with fiction, but I usually one write non-fiction when I do prose, so I am glad you liked it.
I made up all the stuff about landlines having those functions, so I hope nobody took that serious and goes looking for one that's like a smartphone. LOL.... Thanks so much for the awesome review and comments, my dear friend.
Comment from jmdg1954
She did the mash...
It was the monster,
It was a graveyards mash!
In the middle of reading of this creepy skull telephone I went back to check fiction or non-fiction..,
You tell a believable tale. I'm guessing parts are comprised of life's facts but all in all it's fiction.
Marvelous and I would no be surprised if it's not the contest winner!
Excellent post, creepy yet excellent
John
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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She did the mash...
It was the monster,
It was a graveyards mash!
In the middle of reading of this creepy skull telephone I went back to check fiction or non-fiction..,
You tell a believable tale. I'm guessing parts are comprised of life's facts but all in all it's fiction.
Marvelous and I would no be surprised if it's not the contest winner!
Excellent post, creepy yet excellent
John
Comment Written 29-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Hi there John, I thank you so much for the awesome review and comments. This gave me the chance to use some of Kenzie's darker art pieces. Yes, a little non-fiction combined with fiction, but I am used to usually only writing non-fiction, so I am glad you liked it.
I made up all the stuff about landlines having those functions, so I hope nobody took that serious and goes looking for one that's like a smartphone.
Lol. I think I would have a heart attack if the committee ever read anything of mine. Oops, did I say that?? Trivia question for you. Who on tv used to say, "Did I say that?"
Thanks again, dear friend.
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Easy one ? Steve Erkel
You?re welcome on the awesome review. What can
I say, we?re two awesome people.
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Yup, Two peas in a pod!!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Well, this is quite a story although you seemed to remain pretty level-headed throughout so I didn't feel unduly scared. Well expressed with plenty of pace and credible description, I enjoyed the romp and, particularly, the dance at the end. I would suggest some small edits: 'text(ed)' 'I must have slept a little longer and (deeper) rather than 'harder.' A great entry for the contest, Debi! Good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Well, this is quite a story although you seemed to remain pretty level-headed throughout so I didn't feel unduly scared. Well expressed with plenty of pace and credible description, I enjoyed the romp and, particularly, the dance at the end. I would suggest some small edits: 'text(ed)' 'I must have slept a little longer and (deeper) rather than 'harder.' A great entry for the contest, Debi! Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 29-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
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Debbie, I thank you so much for the awesome review and comments.
This gave me the chance to use some of Kenzie's darker art pieces.
Yes, a little non-fiction combined with fiction, but when I do write prose I am used to usually only writing non-fiction, so I am glad you liked it.
Thanks for the awesome feedback. I edited right away and never too proud to accept a little help. After all I do more poetry. But in this case, I know better but would you believe I have such a hard time with the word texted, so I never use it. In my mind, it doesn't feel like it should be a word. I can't even tell you why I feel that way. And here for some reason, they rate sleep as light or hard. Again, not sure what that is about. LOL.
So I truly appreciated you catching that for me.
I made up all the stuff about landlines having those functions, so I hope nobody took that serious and goes looking for one that's like a smartphone. Lol.
Thanks again, my sweet friend.