Comment from karenina

Excellent

OH my gosh, Debbie. I've been here. Positive for breast cancer, sent into a conference room to await the doctor (who had overbooked because, you know, money)-- He entered and didn't even sit down, just looked from his tablet to me and said "I'm sorry, your biopsy was positive, see the receptionist to set up a surgical consult."

(I briefly wondered if he had the wrong patient since he hardly made eye contact and did not address me by name)

I left feeling numb and overwhelmed and might have stopped at the receptionist's "window" but just as you depict, she was happily calling to the next patient to "check-in"--

The doctor changed my life in less than three minutes (but billed insurance for a full appointment)-- The receptionist might as well have asked me "Do you want fries with that?"

We're all numbers and billing codes these days. Your Dribble doesn't depict EVERY doctor (my Oncologist, for example, was amazingly compassionate)--but it sure rings true for a broad slice of the medical community these days, when most doctors are part of a health care community" and they have quotas to meet.

Your Dribble rings true for me! Well done!

Karenina

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023

Thank you so much, Karenina! I'm so sorry about your outcome and hope that everything is good for you now. My experience related to a neurological diagnosis (well actually it wasn't even that because he couldn't pin it down, just termed it under one of those rare, incurable, progressive conditions for which there is no treatment). The flash is a bit of an amalgam of several appointments and a sensation of absolute indifference and insensitivity from the doctor(s). I loved your introduction of humour with the fries. They can be beastly these receptionists (thank goodness you nailed it, others haven't). I know this isn't the general rule necessarily but I still wonder what happened to 'bedside manner' and there should never be a barrier, such as a desk or table, between doctor and patient. Always enjoy hearing from you and thank you so much for your time and care. Debbie

reply by karenina on 23-Oct-2023

I'm sorry you experienced these things. As an RN I became quite vocal with doctors who were not meeting the needs of their patients. Most of them respected me for speaking up...a few were shocked a lowly RN would dare question their lack of bedside manner...

Comment from royowen

Excellent

Heh heh, I was thinking as I read, next! Just another day at the office, some people just enjoy giving bad news. This is a very good entry in this contest, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023

Thanks so much, Roy! You nailed it. "Next" on the assembly line. Well my experience anyway. Thank you for your kind review and wishes, Debbie

reply by royowen on 23-Oct-2023

Well done

Comment from Ulla

Exceptional

This is a wonderful little dribble flash fiction for the contest, Debbie. Whatever the bad news were, an unwanted pregnancy or a serious illness; it's put into stark relief by the fleeting words: Next!
A human being is only a number. All the best of luck. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023

Thank you so much for this exceptional review, Ulla, and for completely nailing it! I'm delighted by your comments and thank you again for this and your good wishes. Debbie x

Comment from lauralumummu

Excellent

Some bad news but well presented in this little piece. Your writing is very good hope this isn't true or it turned out well. All the best, Laura---------------

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023

Thank you so much, Laura, for your very kind review which I greatly appreciate! It's a bit of an amalgam of several appointments but I did remain rooted to the chair:) Thanks again for your time and thoughts, Debbie x

Comment from nomi338

Excellent

Upon hearing words we suspected, but dreaded hearing, can shock us into acting or reacting in dramatic ways. We want to know, but we do not want our worst fears to be confirmed. What we do next, could color the rest of our time going forward.

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023

Thank you so much, Nomi! As ever, I always appreciate your words and, you're right, it's all sometimes too much to take in and in the space of a few minutes, your life can change. Take care Debbie x

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

This is a chilling write and brings back a memory to me when I did just that, stood in a waiting room until my husband was called for his diagnosis. We sat together and heard the result and left, and we dealt with the aftermath which just went downhill after that. A poignant write for the contest Debbie, love Dolly x x x

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023

I'm so sorry it brought back that memory, Dolly! I'm afraid my scene was a bit bleak. But I still think doctors and receptionists have a long way to go before they understand 'bedside manner.' (The table was to accentuate the barrier of course). Thanks for your kind review, thoughts and care. Love Debbie x

reply by Dolly'sPoems on 23-Oct-2023

You are so right, doctors receptionists have had a bad reputation since I was a young girl Debbie, I doubt it is going to change. They are as hard as nails, love Dolly x

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

This sounds like the final word from St Peter at the Golden Gate.
At first I thought it might be a Doctor, but there wouldn't be a table between you or a throng waiting.
Good Dribble Flash Fiction, Debbie.
Well done. Nancy:)

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023

Thank you so much, Nancy! My intention was to paint a very insensitive scene, firstly in the doctor's room (with the barrier of the table between patient and doctor), then the harsh voice of the receptionist calling in the next patient, indifferent to any emotion preceding this. I think I'll change table to desk to avoid any confusion there. Thanks for your time and care, Debbie

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I am wanting to know what the news it. In today's world it could be something really horrible. I enjoyed reading your contest entry. It had all the elements required for a story, characters, setting, problem, I'm not so sure running from the room is a solution, but it works. Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023

Thank you so much, Barbara, for your kind review, thoughts and time, all much appreciated. I actually intended to portray an insensitive scene ( barrier of the table between patient and doctor) and a response when hearing bad news, the shock only being interrupted by the harsh tone of the receptionist's voice, calling in the next patient, totally indifferent to the upset. Not everyone's experience I know but 'bedside manner' can certainly be lacking in mine:( Thank you for your good wishes. Debbie x

Comment from Lisasview

Exceptional

Fabulous dear Debbie ... I loved it and actually read it several times.
Gave me chills with all the many thoughts that came to mind.
Perfect ending... NEXT... yikes what a scary thought...of course it could be anything right.
At first I thought it was about about a loved one... then I realized it was you...I love that you said flew from the room... the image is so very clear.
The very best of luck in the contest,
Lisa

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023

Wow, thank you so much for this exceptional review! I've portrayed quite a grim scene here. If compassion is to be shown when giving the patient bad news, a barrier such as a table shouldn't be there. And the intention was that it was the receptionist calling in the next patient (on the assembly line). Thank you again, Lisa. Debbie x

reply by Lisasview on 23-Oct-2023

Yes, that is what I saw and felt... exactly... so your poem was perfect!
Lisa

Comment from Wendyanne

Excellent

Oh dear the doctor seems to be lacking in sympathy and compassion!! You have described the fear and anxiety of waiting for test results. I think we have all felt that at times but our doctors hopefully have a better bedside manner than the one in your short tale. Good luck.

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023

Thank you so much, Wendyanne! I really appreciate the thought that you've given here. I've tried to portray an insensitive scene, firstly with the doctor (the barrier represented by the table between them) and then the impression of an assembly line in which the next patient was being called up, probably by a totally indifferent receptionist. Thanks for your good wishes, Debbie x