Comment from Teri7

Excellent

Carol, This s a very well written fiction story you have penned for the 100 Word Flash Fiction contest. You used great descriptive words and very neat imagery. Best wishes in the contest. love and blessings, teri

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023

Thank you, Teri. Using the flash fiction contests to edge myself back into the world of writing again. Appreciate your comments.

Smiles, Carol

reply by Teri7 on 13-Jun-2023

You are so welcome!!!😊💕❤️

Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

Well, we never truly know anyone, what they are thinking, or what they are capable of doing. I mean, even without ourselves lies person we'd rather not know. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023

My heart always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt, but during these past months I have truly learned not to believe everything that comes from someone's mouth...especially family. Nothing is black and white and most said what they think we want to hear. Smiles and hugs, Carol

reply by Ric Myworld on 13-Jun-2023

Sadly, Carol, my dear, you are so right. People do have a tendency of saying what we want to hear. I've often wondered if I'm really such and open book that they can always seem to know what I'm thinking. Smiles and Hugs back at ya! I'm glad to see you posting! Ric

reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023

Thank you... I'd almost given up on life for many reason. Then I landed in a hospital far from home and family and discovered me again. While I still struggle with the health issues, I am forever grateful for having the cobwebs cleared and my spirit revived. I'll deal with the rest later! Writing is my way back.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. My husband was a forensic science expert for the US Army before he retired. He says we all have three pieces to us, the public piece that all sees, the private piece we only show at home, and the secrete piece that is inside each of us. I think this entry addresses that. Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023

Thank you so much, Barbara. It's good to hear from you again. It's been a struggle to return but happily I have found my way back. Thank you for your thoughts and comments. Have a great day....

And thanks for all your prayers. I am sure they helped with my return. Smiles, Carol

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

Carol, I have a suggestion. Perhaps you should switch the two scenes around? Start the story with the Exhausted paragraph and then have the EMT barge in? I read it three times and it didn't make sense. She wouldn't be working in her bloody street clothes caressing her Gun now would she? Well done though. Nancy:)

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023

Thanks so much for your thoughts and comments. Her clothes wouldn't be bloody because she shot from a distance. And the space indicates, a time and place difference and another body. At least that's what my jumbled mind was thinking. I'll take another look at it though and see if I can make it clearer. I appreciate your help. Smiles, Carol

Comment from John Ciarmello

Excellent

My goodness! If this wasn't a surprise ending, I don't know what is. It was revealing and chilling, and I'm happy it is simply fiction. Or is it? One never knows, does one? I loved it!

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023

Hello, John... Thanks for your thoughts and comments. I truly appreciate it. Glad you found enjoyment in the flash.
Smiles, Carol

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

Wow, that's chilling! What a story and contained in such a short piece, I didn't see that coming! Your prose and dialogue are skilfully done with the reader's instant impression of being in the emergency room. And you're immediately thinking the culprit must be a man! Great twist and strong contender for this contest! Thanks for sharing and good luck! Debbie

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023

It's difficult to get a whole story with a twist in so few words so I truly appreciate that you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for your comments and best wishes. Smiles, Carol

Comment from Wayne Fowler

Excellent

Only fiction? Oh really? Should FanStory ever have a convention, I'm keeping my eye on you. (smiley face here)
I couldn't figure why Heidi was taking off her dress in the ER, but then remembered that it was a 100 word flash fiction entry. Oh well, I can fantasize, can't I? (slobbering face here)
Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023

Thank you for the wonderful chuckle, Wayne. I needed and enjoyed it!
I appreciate your time, thoughts (I won't delve too deep) and humor. Just starting out easy with writing again ... hoping the creative juices start flowing again. Thank you and have a wonderful day. Smiles, Carol

Comment from Sally Law

Excellent

Wow, this is awesome in the crime fiction/horror thriller genre. Wonderfully penned and presented in flash fiction. A winner, I suspect.

Sending you my best today as always, and best wishes for the upcoming contest.
Sal XOs

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023

Good morning, Sally. Thank you for reading and commenting on my 100 word flash. It's difficult to get an entire story in so few words and add a twist as well. I am glad you enjoyed my effort.

Smiles, Carol

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

Yes, it's only fiction but your tale as told certainly felt lifelike to me.
You have all the components to the flash fiction requirements and provided a good twist at the end.

Good luck in the contest.
John

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2023

Thank you for taking the time to read, comment and enjoy my little short flash fiction. I am a wordy person lol so it's difficult to get an entire story bundled into 100 words and add a twist at the same time. Thank you so much for stopping by. Smiles, Carol