Lotus beat all odds
5-7-5 Poem.21 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Thanks for your helpful notes explaining 'sloth' in the verse (I probably should have realised). I enjoyed the sentiments of this 3 liner and the way in which the lotus evolves through the mud and slime. My only concern is in the first 2 lines the subject is the flower, then by the third you've switched to the blamers, thus interrupting flow. Personally, I would have preferred it to read something like: falsely blamed for sloth (thus keeping the flower as subject as well as defending against implied reputation you mention. Just a thought. Thanks for sharing Debbie
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reply by the author on 24-May-2023
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Thanks for your helpful notes explaining 'sloth' in the verse (I probably should have realised). I enjoyed the sentiments of this 3 liner and the way in which the lotus evolves through the mud and slime. My only concern is in the first 2 lines the subject is the flower, then by the third you've switched to the blamers, thus interrupting flow. Personally, I would have preferred it to read something like: falsely blamed for sloth (thus keeping the flower as subject as well as defending against implied reputation you mention. Just a thought. Thanks for sharing Debbie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-May-2023
reply by the author on 24-May-2023
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Thank you very much for taking the trouble to explain your perspective .I am sorry my reply is late. I was not well. I will think of changing that line...
