Relationships Are Fragile
It's best not to get involved in another's love life.28 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
LOL Thank you for sharing this writing prompt entry with us. Yes, one never knows who you can trust. I enjoyed reading and I can see where sharing information you really don't know can get others in trouble.
reply by the author on 11-May-2023
LOL Thank you for sharing this writing prompt entry with us. Yes, one never knows who you can trust. I enjoyed reading and I can see where sharing information you really don't know can get others in trouble.
Comment Written 11-May-2023
reply by the author on 11-May-2023
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Thanks, Barbara. I'm glad you liked it. It was pretty close to a true story. The fictional part was the name changes and I didn't actually confront my brother-in-law.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Growing up and being mature is a difficult act to do. Trust is something a person should never take for granted. There is a correction which needs to be edited. "Yourself" instead of "youself", the last line of the first part.
reply by the author on 11-May-2023
Growing up and being mature is a difficult act to do. Trust is something a person should never take for granted. There is a correction which needs to be edited. "Yourself" instead of "youself", the last line of the first part.
Comment Written 11-May-2023
reply by the author on 11-May-2023
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Thank you for the excellant review and comments. I appreciate it very much.
Comment from Teri7
This is very well written dialogue you have penned for the Dialogue Only Prompt. You used very good descriptive words and the reader knew what you were talking about. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 11-May-2023
This is very well written dialogue you have penned for the Dialogue Only Prompt. You used very good descriptive words and the reader knew what you were talking about. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 11-May-2023
reply by the author on 11-May-2023
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Thank you for the review and comments. I appreciate you.
Comment from jmdg1954
A clear case of being a butinski... a person who buts in to other peoples affairs without all the facts.
I found this a good dialogue only entry for the contest. Clear dialogue and easy to follow who was speaking.
Best of luck in the contest.
Cheers.... John
reply by the author on 11-May-2023
A clear case of being a butinski... a person who buts in to other peoples affairs without all the facts.
I found this a good dialogue only entry for the contest. Clear dialogue and easy to follow who was speaking.
Best of luck in the contest.
Cheers.... John
Comment Written 11-May-2023
reply by the author on 11-May-2023
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Thank you John. I really appreciate your review and comments.
Comment from Lea Tonin1
Well that clearly demonstrates how a couple could split or stay together. This was written quite well and had no trouble following along Though it's betrayal or the indication of betrayal have you said that I find new issues with configuration filling satisfactory force f****** matters so? They're good to me. And well written obviously intelligent writer that's pretty good just the way to what I hope you have a great night and good luck to you!
reply by the author on 11-May-2023
Well that clearly demonstrates how a couple could split or stay together. This was written quite well and had no trouble following along Though it's betrayal or the indication of betrayal have you said that I find new issues with configuration filling satisfactory force f****** matters so? They're good to me. And well written obviously intelligent writer that's pretty good just the way to what I hope you have a great night and good luck to you!
Comment Written 10-May-2023
reply by the author on 11-May-2023
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Thank you Lea. I really appreciate the review and comments.
Comment from Ginda Simpson
Your story unfolds smoothly with dialogue only. Easy to imagine these conversations. However it needs some editing for the contest. There are several places where words are missing. Worth going over.
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reply by the author on 11-May-2023
Your story unfolds smoothly with dialogue only. Easy to imagine these conversations. However it needs some editing for the contest. There are several places where words are missing. Worth going over.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-May-2023
reply by the author on 11-May-2023
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Thank you for the review and comments. Hopefully they have all been corrected.
Comment from karenina
Interesting dialogue! Reminds me of what often happens when people gossip...
I appreciated the change in font/bold as each speaker said their piece.
Looks like things backfired for Mr. Gossip!
(Just a few edits to consider below...easy as pie to fix!)
I enjoyed the premise!
*check: "If someone told him, it could have (been?) anyone."
*check: "Why wouldn't you mind (your?) own business?"
*check: "What's wrong with sitting with friends
when you (are?) having coffee?"
*check: "Hey Steve. What (is?) going on with you and your girlfriend?"
--Karenina
reply by the author on 11-May-2023
Interesting dialogue! Reminds me of what often happens when people gossip...
I appreciated the change in font/bold as each speaker said their piece.
Looks like things backfired for Mr. Gossip!
(Just a few edits to consider below...easy as pie to fix!)
I enjoyed the premise!
*check: "If someone told him, it could have (been?) anyone."
*check: "Why wouldn't you mind (your?) own business?"
*check: "What's wrong with sitting with friends
when you (are?) having coffee?"
*check: "Hey Steve. What (is?) going on with you and your girlfriend?"
--Karenina
Comment Written 10-May-2023
reply by the author on 11-May-2023
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Thank you Karenina. I appreciate the review and the help with finding my spags.
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Hey, nobody "spags" like me... Which is why I do not play around with "stars"--we're all here to help one another!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Yes, your advice is right, best not jump to conclusions.
Edit for these line:
(If (that's) the way you plan to play it)
or
If that (is) the way you plan to play it
and
(Hey Steve. What('s) going on with you and your girlfriend?)
or
(Hey Steve. What (is) going on with you and your girlfriend?)
and
(We broke up. It turns out, (she's) been dating some other guy.)
or
(We broke up. It turns out, she (has) been dating some other guy.)
Love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-May-2023
Yes, your advice is right, best not jump to conclusions.
Edit for these line:
(If (that's) the way you plan to play it)
or
If that (is) the way you plan to play it
and
(Hey Steve. What('s) going on with you and your girlfriend?)
or
(Hey Steve. What (is) going on with you and your girlfriend?)
and
(We broke up. It turns out, (she's) been dating some other guy.)
or
(We broke up. It turns out, she (has) been dating some other guy.)
Love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-May-2023
reply by the author on 11-May-2023
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Thank ;you, Dolly. I appreciate the review and your help with the spags.