A Bitter Garden
Each flower grown from jealousy...29 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Halloween in spring indeed, you certainly created that here, I would say. It was a joy to read and just gave the right sense of mystery. All the best of luck in the contest. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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Halloween in spring indeed, you certainly created that here, I would say. It was a joy to read and just gave the right sense of mystery. All the best of luck in the contest. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 23-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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Thank you, Ulla!!
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
The witch knew that her favorite brew was finally discovered and was no longer good. I'm not a lover of witches so to see one ride a broom, must tell us that's it's perhaps Halloween.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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The witch knew that her favorite brew was finally discovered and was no longer good. I'm not a lover of witches so to see one ride a broom, must tell us that's it's perhaps Halloween.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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Thanks for reviewing!
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This is very clever and cute and it bounces along very merrily. But I do not see what the engaging fun has to do with Halloween in Spring. Happy and enjoying reading this I hope wins the contest.
Jesse
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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This is very clever and cute and it bounces along very merrily. But I do not see what the engaging fun has to do with Halloween in Spring. Happy and enjoying reading this I hope wins the contest.
Jesse
Comment Written 23-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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Thank you, Jesse! I've since revised based on your helpful feedback. I can understand the Halloween involvement being unclear. I appreciate you pointing that out and hopefully my revision makes it a bit more clear! Thank you!
:)
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Glad I could help.
Comment from Bill Schott
Wow! This poem, A Bitter Garden, creates a scene of patient plotting by the wicked witch sister. It seems like she has collected enough suitable "buds" to make for a perfect rose for the occasion.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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Wow! This poem, A Bitter Garden, creates a scene of patient plotting by the wicked witch sister. It seems like she has collected enough suitable "buds" to make for a perfect rose for the occasion.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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"Buds"! Genius! Haha wish I thought of that. ;) Thanks so much for your awesome review, Bill!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is a really imaginative verse in-keeping with the brief and recounting a very vengeful witch who wins the day. I think the idea of transforming her sister's boyfriends into spring flowers from which her Mister would be selected is inspired. The verse has sound rhyme and rhythm and is a worthy contender for the contest. Good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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This is a really imaginative verse in-keeping with the brief and recounting a very vengeful witch who wins the day. I think the idea of transforming her sister's boyfriends into spring flowers from which her Mister would be selected is inspired. The verse has sound rhyme and rhythm and is a worthy contender for the contest. Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 23-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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Thank you so much, Debbie!
Comment from Ginda Simpson
Six stars at least! Not only does this poem/story rhyme flawlessly, you have created perfect imagery for this Halloween in Spring verse. The first stanza pulls us into the story and it moves to the wicked ending in the garden. I think you wrote this with a magic wand.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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Six stars at least! Not only does this poem/story rhyme flawlessly, you have created perfect imagery for this Halloween in Spring verse. The first stanza pulls us into the story and it moves to the wicked ending in the garden. I think you wrote this with a magic wand.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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Ginda, your complimenting review means the world to me!!
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Author,
it had an intriguing 'ditty'- 'limericky' feel to the poem... and flowed so nicely within the story of it... which btw, is another great reason to avoid dating twins. The rhyme and approximate rhyme worked well in this style of write.
A small tidbit... till', the apostrophe works the true meaning from until. You get the gist?
No matter, I was very entertained and in the hook within the story and flow... so well done and all the very best of wishes in this Halloween in Spring contest... it must be in with a chance!
With our thoughts we create...
a fruitful bounty.
Kind regards,
James.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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Hi Author,
it had an intriguing 'ditty'- 'limericky' feel to the poem... and flowed so nicely within the story of it... which btw, is another great reason to avoid dating twins. The rhyme and approximate rhyme worked well in this style of write.
A small tidbit... till', the apostrophe works the true meaning from until. You get the gist?
No matter, I was very entertained and in the hook within the story and flow... so well done and all the very best of wishes in this Halloween in Spring contest... it must be in with a chance!
With our thoughts we create...
a fruitful bounty.
Kind regards,
James.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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Thank you so much, James! I'm very grateful for your insightful review- and I've revised that small tidbit- thank you!
Xo
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Huh? The sister to me seemingly married but a stanza later her dates were being attacked by the bitchy with of a sister. Am i missing something? Do I need to re-read? It had a nice flow but I stand confused.
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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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Huh? The sister to me seemingly married but a stanza later her dates were being attacked by the bitchy with of a sister. Am i missing something? Do I need to re-read? It had a nice flow but I stand confused.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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Tom, I've since revised based on your comment- thank you! Hopefully it will clear things up
Comment from ~Dovey
Hello Poet!
What a sinister tale you have told through this extremely well rhymed poem. This is a strong entry for the contest.
Wish you best of luck!
Kim
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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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Hello Poet!
What a sinister tale you have told through this extremely well rhymed poem. This is a strong entry for the contest.
Wish you best of luck!
Kim
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2023
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Thanks so much, Kim!