A Poetic Pause
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Schematics End"First Poems
28 total reviews
Comment from kahpot
Well, not very often I award a six for such a short work, but this one is worth it, the comparison to the black widow and earth's destruction at the hands of man is excellent, very well written, and presented, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2023
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Well, not very often I award a six for such a short work, but this one is worth it, the comparison to the black widow and earth's destruction at the hands of man is excellent, very well written, and presented, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 01-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2023
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Thank you again that's an amazing honor I so appreciate it yeah wow. I appreciate you are taking the time to look at it and consider it thank you again hope you have a great night!
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This is an interesting short short poem. At first I was thinking that a plague of spiders took over the world, but they wouldn't consume all the resources. I know there is hope because of new ways to use existing resources, like drip systems in agriculture. There are of course places where people might be on the brink of ruin, but it seems that there are ways to distribute and share knowledge and supplies. So this short poem points out that even the danger of running out could be likened to a black widow. (In the notes I think you mean 'simulation' or 'symbolism' not 'simulism.' And also, I think you mean 'consumes her mate' in the next section).
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2023
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This is an interesting short short poem. At first I was thinking that a plague of spiders took over the world, but they wouldn't consume all the resources. I know there is hope because of new ways to use existing resources, like drip systems in agriculture. There are of course places where people might be on the brink of ruin, but it seems that there are ways to distribute and share knowledge and supplies. So this short poem points out that even the danger of running out could be likened to a black widow. (In the notes I think you mean 'simulation' or 'symbolism' not 'simulism.' And also, I think you mean 'consumes her mate' in the next section).
Comment Written 01-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2023
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A very good analogy! Very insightful view! Thank you for review and your insights I so appreciate it!
Have a great night!!
Comment from Ricky1024
This was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
Message as Earth's Woes are ever so.
Tumultuous Earthquakes.
Volcanic Activity.
(Over due)
Covid -19 Variant #3 Pandemic Crisis.
Isis on the loose, a Loose Caboose?
Thanks for sharing this and good luck with your contest entry!
Doctor Ricky
(No excuse)
WWIII?
Nuclear Destruction?
Tear the Earth on Half?
One side goes to Satan and the other side?
Who knows?
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2023
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This was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
Message as Earth's Woes are ever so.
Tumultuous Earthquakes.
Volcanic Activity.
(Over due)
Covid -19 Variant #3 Pandemic Crisis.
Isis on the loose, a Loose Caboose?
Thanks for sharing this and good luck with your contest entry!
Doctor Ricky
(No excuse)
WWIII?
Nuclear Destruction?
Tear the Earth on Half?
One side goes to Satan and the other side?
Who knows?
Comment Written 27-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much you Paul as many questions all at once you have a busy brain I think thank you very much for reading my poem and for your comments are very much appreciated have a great night!
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My brain?
Runs on grains of sand.
Dispense on every beachfront of every land.
You can collect it in the deserts if you dare?
With just one sip of water if you care?
Doctor Ricky
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See what I'm saying you are a well Spring you really are
Comment from Eleri
It is always a challenge to write a poem that makes sense with so few words. I think that you have produced a very insightful poem here but I think that, without your explanation, I would not have really got it, ie the connection between the Black widow and the end of the earth as to me a black widow is either a venomous spider or a woman who destroys men. You are obviously a bit too subtle for me but I'm sure that many other people will get it so good luck in the competition.
Eleri
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2023
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It is always a challenge to write a poem that makes sense with so few words. I think that you have produced a very insightful poem here but I think that, without your explanation, I would not have really got it, ie the connection between the Black widow and the end of the earth as to me a black widow is either a venomous spider or a woman who destroys men. You are obviously a bit too subtle for me but I'm sure that many other people will get it so good luck in the competition.
Eleri
Comment Written 27-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2023
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Thank you all and for your really great review and I thank you for taking the time it is most appreciated a small explanation as to the black widow black widow as far as I understand her she kills her mate after she eats them and we're kind of like that on the planet we kill the planets after we eat it therefore I use that terminology for the poem I hope that makes some sense anyway thank you again I really appreciate I hope you have a great night!
Comment from Lobber
Hi Lea,
we certainly need writers who can identify )what is and what is coming( - especially if you can do it in six words. not sure if you want )breaths( OR )breathes(.
- Lobber
PS - BC is beautiful! I live in sinful Toronto where they want to cut down 100+ trees for a new downtown subway stop!
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2023
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Hi Lea,
we certainly need writers who can identify )what is and what is coming( - especially if you can do it in six words. not sure if you want )breaths( OR )breathes(.
- Lobber
PS - BC is beautiful! I live in sinful Toronto where they want to cut down 100+ trees for a new downtown subway stop!
Comment Written 14-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2023
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Hi thank you so much for your review you're absolutely right! I have corrected that 1 word.
Funny it doesn't come up on spell check though which doesn't surprise me. Thank you for the tip and yes BC is very beautiful do you ever get out here will be happy to tour you around! Hope you have a fabulous day!
Comment from Carlos' girl
When you only have six words you should be sure none of them are misspelled. BREATHES. Not breaths. Unless your poem really is on its last leg.
Nice idea tho
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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2023
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When you only have six words you should be sure none of them are misspelled. BREATHES. Not breaths. Unless your poem really is on its last leg.
Nice idea tho
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Comment Written 14-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much absolutely right and corrected! Your amazing! Thank you have a great day!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A poignant write about climate change and your chilling presentation brings home the seriousness of the situation here Lea, a powerful write, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2023
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A poignant write about climate change and your chilling presentation brings home the seriousness of the situation here Lea, a powerful write, love Dolly x
Comment Written 14-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2023
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Thank you Dolly I appreciate my Writing in the message gives. I appreciate your insight and your comments thank you and I hope you have A wonderful evening!
Comment from Mark Kuglin
I had to contemplate this a bit.
At first glance, it seemed incomplete.
Upon closer examination, the depth is revealed.
This is layered and textured.
Kudos on doing it in so few words.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2023
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I had to contemplate this a bit.
At first glance, it seemed incomplete.
Upon closer examination, the depth is revealed.
This is layered and textured.
Kudos on doing it in so few words.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2023
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Thank you Mark! I appreciate your kind words and perception!!
Have a wonderful evening!
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My pleasure :)
