Trip to the beach
Rex and I go on Holiday30 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This story, Trip to the Beach, is a fun romp with folks and pets. I think your ending is so very funny and represents which couple had the better time.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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This story, Trip to the Beach, is a fun romp with folks and pets. I think your ending is so very funny and represents which couple had the better time.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you!
Comment from karenina
See? Just when you think you can trust them to be responsible!
Darn pets... They have us wrapped around their paws and they know it!!!
So???
Are you a proud granddaddy to puppies???
Oh darn! It's fiction!
I so wanted to see photos...and a DNA test!
Congratulations on third place!
Karenina
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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See? Just when you think you can trust them to be responsible!
Darn pets... They have us wrapped around their paws and they know it!!!
So???
Are you a proud granddaddy to puppies???
Oh darn! It's fiction!
I so wanted to see photos...and a DNA test!
Congratulations on third place!
Karenina
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you!
Comment from Thesis
I only have two negative comments on how the story was presented: 1- potato chips is misspelled (potatoes chips). 2- the spacing of lines is not there.
Other than that, I found the story to be fun and liked the twist at the end with the news that Rex did more than play with his ball. Apparently Gail and Rex's owner are going to be in laws.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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I only have two negative comments on how the story was presented: 1- potato chips is misspelled (potatoes chips). 2- the spacing of lines is not there.
Other than that, I found the story to be fun and liked the twist at the end with the news that Rex did more than play with his ball. Apparently Gail and Rex's owner are going to be in laws.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Uh huh. That figures, GL. I enjoyed your little story.
You gave readers good details about that first day
then those that followed. I could see the dogs enjoying
the beach. Your trip with Rex seemed to be relaxing for
both you and him. The ending was a great reminder
about the trip.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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Uh huh. That figures, GL. I enjoyed your little story.
You gave readers good details about that first day
then those that followed. I could see the dogs enjoying
the beach. Your trip with Rex seemed to be relaxing for
both you and him. The ending was a great reminder
about the trip.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
Comment Written 15-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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Thank you!
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😊🐈⬛
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Deservingly correct in form. I don't know but this composition is full of joy, and a surprise mystery after all. Now gunner Lil, tell me r u a guy or gal, for being named Lil as a male to me is no better than a boy named Sue.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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Deservingly correct in form. I don't know but this composition is full of joy, and a surprise mystery after all. Now gunner Lil, tell me r u a guy or gal, for being named Lil as a male to me is no better than a boy named Sue.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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Thank you! Guy. Lil comes from my last name. Golden Gloves and 33 year vet of USMC. Had loads of fun. (Very mellow now.) Thanks for the stars.
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Did you box inter-service? I played All-Navy b-ball for Phiblant in 71-72 @ Little Creek, Westpac from Guam ?70 and NE tourney team in Newport RI ?69
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Two NAVY boxers I was familiar with were Heavyweights and fought in the Olympics. Dick Pettigrew and Duane Bobick who also boxed professionally after his hitch. Did you know either? This was in late 60?s early 70?s
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I knew of both. I boxed 1957-1959 before joining the Corps. Boxed on team at Atsugi, Japan 1963 before Nam. Did okay but not great.
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Aah for the memories.
Comment from jessizero
I absolutely loved your story! It was adorable, and the ending was definitely a fun surprise. Thanks for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Just two things:
You need a comma before and after "my three- year- old Golden Retriever"
You need a comma before and after "a school teacher"
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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I absolutely loved your story! It was adorable, and the ending was definitely a fun surprise. Thanks for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Just two things:
You need a comma before and after "my three- year- old Golden Retriever"
You need a comma before and after "a school teacher"
Comment Written 14-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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Thank you!!
Comment from Shirley McLain
What are vacations for but to have fun, and he certainly made the best of his vacation. You did a great job, and I didn't see any errors. Good luck in the contest. Shirley
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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What are vacations for but to have fun, and he certainly made the best of his vacation. You did a great job, and I didn't see any errors. Good luck in the contest. Shirley
Comment Written 14-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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Thank you!!
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
I like how you imply you told the dog what to do and he did it. A language only possible between a loving dog parent and their loved dog.
This post could benefit greatly by using a larger font. I would suggest at least a 16.
Need paragraph spacing throughout. I would suggest:
Para 1, 6th sentence: After (him.)
Para 2, 5th sentence: After (marks.)
Para 3, 2nd sentence: After (away.)
Para 4, 3rd sentence: After (Shepard.)
Para 5, 4th sentence: After (dunes.)
Para 6, 2nd sentence: After (tow.)
Para 7, 3rd sentence: After (me.)
Para 8, 2nd sentence: After (fun.) Remove enough spaces to bring the next sentence/paragraph continuous with this one. Same thought. Then after (chow.) add a paragraph space.
Para 9, 3rd sentence: After (chips.) Remove enough spaces to bring the next sentence/paragraph continuous with this one. Same thought. Then after (Monday.) add a paragraph space.
The last four sentences should be combined into one paragraph. It is all discussing one idea.
Great closing to a casual boy meets girl story. Only this time the "have to talk" is about their dogs.
I love it.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2022
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I like how you imply you told the dog what to do and he did it. A language only possible between a loving dog parent and their loved dog.
This post could benefit greatly by using a larger font. I would suggest at least a 16.
Need paragraph spacing throughout. I would suggest:
Para 1, 6th sentence: After (him.)
Para 2, 5th sentence: After (marks.)
Para 3, 2nd sentence: After (away.)
Para 4, 3rd sentence: After (Shepard.)
Para 5, 4th sentence: After (dunes.)
Para 6, 2nd sentence: After (tow.)
Para 7, 3rd sentence: After (me.)
Para 8, 2nd sentence: After (fun.) Remove enough spaces to bring the next sentence/paragraph continuous with this one. Same thought. Then after (chow.) add a paragraph space.
Para 9, 3rd sentence: After (chips.) Remove enough spaces to bring the next sentence/paragraph continuous with this one. Same thought. Then after (Monday.) add a paragraph space.
The last four sentences should be combined into one paragraph. It is all discussing one idea.
Great closing to a casual boy meets girl story. Only this time the "have to talk" is about their dogs.
I love it.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2022
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Thank you!
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
This happened to my dog. One day he jumped out of the car. The night before, the dog became jealous of me and my husband. Now this may sound insane or off the wall to you, but we never found the dog that day. I honestly think he was so mad, he ran away.
The night before, I told the dog to get off the bed. He did. He went into my den and hopped up onto the couch. I felt bad, so I said,
"Come on Buchie, you can sleep in my bed."
That little dog looked at me and made a strange sneeze like sound. As if he was saying the hell with you.
Anyway, I found out years later the lady who lived across from my mother that her dog was pregnant by my dog. Afterwards, my dog ran away from her home. Thank you for sharing your great story.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2022
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This happened to my dog. One day he jumped out of the car. The night before, the dog became jealous of me and my husband. Now this may sound insane or off the wall to you, but we never found the dog that day. I honestly think he was so mad, he ran away.
The night before, I told the dog to get off the bed. He did. He went into my den and hopped up onto the couch. I felt bad, so I said,
"Come on Buchie, you can sleep in my bed."
That little dog looked at me and made a strange sneeze like sound. As if he was saying the hell with you.
Anyway, I found out years later the lady who lived across from my mother that her dog was pregnant by my dog. Afterwards, my dog ran away from her home. Thank you for sharing your great story.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2022
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Thank you!
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You are welcome.
Comment from BermyBye50
Gunner,
An excellent entry for the A Fun Trip contest. There is nothing like exploring the beach together with friends and family. To include your 'Best Friend' on this special journey brings your story to life, making it more meaningful, and rich with special memories. Well done.
All the best,
Eugene
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2022
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Gunner,
An excellent entry for the A Fun Trip contest. There is nothing like exploring the beach together with friends and family. To include your 'Best Friend' on this special journey brings your story to life, making it more meaningful, and rich with special memories. Well done.
All the best,
Eugene
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2022
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Thank You!
