Reviews from

Football - A Novel

Viewing comments for Chapter 79 "Football Chapter 50"
A mother faces life's struggles.

29 total reviews 
Comment from Sankey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Such a strong chapter and educational read. I knew chemo had awful side effects but this was very graphic. Just one tiny spag this time. Studying he(r) door, he knocked. "I'm going

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
    Thank you for the kind review. I've added that missing 'r'.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You told it very well. I take it there is no reason why he can't marry her now, so in the worst possible scenario, the in-laws wouldn't stand a chance. There is always the option for Gabe to adopt them, I know several friends who have done that. It wasn't as if her late husband was any good. This was such a great chapter, I'd have given you a 7 had we got them. Well done, my friend, brilliant writing. :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ben Colder
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You hooked me into this story way back when and I have really enjoyed how you have brought this family into an interesting life. The Kemo, the shadow talk, now we leave those moments into something much deeper. Real love. Well done Barb.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You have done an incredible job of portraying the emotions of one having gone through this ordeal, Barbara. My heart is breaking for Katherine, Gab and both their families. I guess Katherine actually believed in Gab's plans to stay no matter what, despite her trying to push him away. The Will is an interesting addition to the story.

A few little typos:
"Paul walked in(into) his office"
"I'm living up (to) my reputation."
"He tapped the tabled (table) as he listened."

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
    DARN!!! those little words. LOL Thank you for the help. I appreciate it.
reply by Judy Lawless on 13-Mar-2022
    You're welcome, Barb. It's the little ones that are easily missed. :)
Comment from nomi338
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh my dear God. After reading this, I can only hope and pray that no one I know and love will ever have to go through this. Firstly, cancer is a terrible engine of torture, its side effects terrorize me to just read about. It is a horrible way to separate people from those they love. It can end the life of its victims after making them suffer unbearably. You did a very good job of describing some of its horrifying effects.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
    Thank you for the kind review. Even mentioning the word cancer is scary.
reply by nomi338 on 13-Mar-2022
    Please allow me to just say that I am so happy that you survived.
Comment from damommy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I knew Gabriel wouldn't give up. He just needed to take a step back and then charge ahead. Poor Katherine, suffering the side effects of chemo. I've seen this first hand, and it's terrible. I'm sorry there only one chapter left. I didn't want this to end. 8-)

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
    Thank you for this kind review.
Comment from Jasmine Girl
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You did well with these 2100 words and I had no problem reading it. It said a lot about the horror of Chemo therapy. I heard about "Chemo brain" and didn't know any stories about it. You have educated me. I hope the relationship will help her.

Well done.

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 Comment Written 13-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Barbara, This chapter did say it all, didn't it? I do realise that you write this from your own experience. Words cannot describe how awful it must have been. And on so many levels. Not only the terrible side effects but also the underlying fear.
It's so very well written. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I have to admit this is written well. Your writing and editing skills are top notch. But, this made little to no sense. I'm not trying to insult you, but this isn't crafted like someone who understands rejection from a male POV or what constitutes it. This isn't rejection, adult males and a teen Jordan's age would know the difference.

If Kate didn't want Gabe there, he should leave. Any intelligent male, knows the risk (police and accusations) involved with staying in woman's house unwanted.

You are overusing the playboy jock thing. That is not a thing in this age.

"Did you get hurt or did your pride get in the way? This is probably the first time in your life a female turned you away."

- What? This isn't the same thing.

Anyway, this your romance story, and these are just my opinions. Feel free to ignore them.

Carry on.

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
    This is my first review. I will see what the others say before I do anything about it. If I get other hits, I'll change it.
reply by lancellot on 13-Mar-2022
    That's unlikely. This is FanStory and you are too well known. Forget the reviews and read it out loud to yourself. Try to put yourself in a man's pov. Even a jock, any man knows rejection from a female. We learned that in middle school.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
    I do happen to have men, besides you who review me and they have been honest with me when they don't like something. I have read it aloud many times and have attempted to think like a male.