A Playful Touch
a 5-7-5 poem31 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
A Playful Touch
by Sugarray77
Melissa,
Excellent entry for the 5-7-5 Poetry Contest. I love the personification of sunlight and streams. Good syllables count and connection between lines. Pretty presentation. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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A Playful Touch
by Sugarray77
Melissa,
Excellent entry for the 5-7-5 Poetry Contest. I love the personification of sunlight and streams. Good syllables count and connection between lines. Pretty presentation. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you so much Gypsy!! It was fun to write this playful one.
Melissa
Comment from BLACKTITANIUM86
I did not feel this piece within my inner soul, like I should have.
And I think it's because you were really reaching. For, the words
did not really connected. But your still dope, as an artist. Keep
Writing. And Stay Connected.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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I did not feel this piece within my inner soul, like I should have.
And I think it's because you were really reaching. For, the words
did not really connected. But your still dope, as an artist. Keep
Writing. And Stay Connected.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you so much !! It was fun to write this playful one. Sorry you did'nt see the lightheartedness... but you are right, it needs to speak to you personally. :)
Melissa
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello Sugarray, this is a fun poem. It made me smile. I especially liked:
gurgles of laughter ... just like a child.
Also, gurgle is a great word choice--good imagery. I can see it; hear it.
Good 5-7-5 format and syllable count. Beautiful artwork choice. A pleasure to read. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Hello Sugarray, this is a fun poem. It made me smile. I especially liked:
gurgles of laughter ... just like a child.
Also, gurgle is a great word choice--good imagery. I can see it; hear it.
Good 5-7-5 format and syllable count. Beautiful artwork choice. A pleasure to read. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you for your review and comments for this lighthearted verse!!
Melissa
Comment from Jasmine Girl
I love your way of personify the sunlight and the mountain stream. Playing words between "giggles" and "gurgles", and near rhyming of "tickle" and "gurgle". I also noticed the alliteration in the second line.
Exceptionally done.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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I love your way of personify the sunlight and the mountain stream. Playing words between "giggles" and "gurgles", and near rhyming of "tickle" and "gurgle". I also noticed the alliteration in the second line.
Exceptionally done.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Hi Lisa. Thanks so much for the lovely review. So glad you liked it!!!!
Melissa
Comment from lyenochka
Loved this! You always bring nature scenes to life and you artfully used personification for this brief poem. Good use of alliteration and onomatopoeia! (gurgle) I hope do well in the contest!
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Loved this! You always bring nature scenes to life and you artfully used personification for this brief poem. Good use of alliteration and onomatopoeia! (gurgle) I hope do well in the contest!
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you so much Helen!!! So glad you liked it and thanks also for the certificate bump! You are such a dear!
Melissa
Comment from Gee
Very nice contest entry.
It goes with the photo well.
I'm not good at short poems
Okay, I'm not really good at any length poem.
You did very well. I appreciate your work.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Very nice contest entry.
It goes with the photo well.
I'm not good at short poems
Okay, I'm not really good at any length poem.
You did very well. I appreciate your work.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you very much Eugene!!!
Melissa
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Melissa,
This scene reminds me of the 1980 movie, "The Mountain Men", starring Charlton Heston and Brian Keith. Though extremely beautiful, there would be no comfort in this neck of the woods.
I like the personification of the sunlight having long fingers and tickling the mountain stream until it laughs. I think a gurgle might be suppressed laughter. Some good alliteration, too, with "melting mountain". I'm thinking this might qualify as a haiku... but there are so many rules there, who knows?
Good Luck in the contest!
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Hi Melissa,
This scene reminds me of the 1980 movie, "The Mountain Men", starring Charlton Heston and Brian Keith. Though extremely beautiful, there would be no comfort in this neck of the woods.
I like the personification of the sunlight having long fingers and tickling the mountain stream until it laughs. I think a gurgle might be suppressed laughter. Some good alliteration, too, with "melting mountain". I'm thinking this might qualify as a haiku... but there are so many rules there, who knows?
Good Luck in the contest!
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you KB. I appreciate your lovely thoughts about this short verse. I enjoyed that movie you mentioned. It is a rugged setting, although so lovely it aches to look at it. :)
Melissa
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
Oh I love this haiku with a personification of sunlight with long fingers to tickle and the ability to giggle. I can hear the giggling of the melting mountain stream!
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Oh I love this haiku with a personification of sunlight with long fingers to tickle and the ability to giggle. I can hear the giggling of the melting mountain stream!
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Hello Verna. Thank you or your lovely words. You encourage me with your thoughts about this poem. Much appreciated!!
Melissa
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
How artistic visualization, what a natural observation, how glowing and lively poetic coverage of scenic beauty! Sunlight, mountain streams and gurgling of laughter are so lyrically put; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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How artistic visualization, what a natural observation, how glowing and lively poetic coverage of scenic beauty! Sunlight, mountain streams and gurgling of laughter are so lyrically put; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thanks so much DR... I so appreciate your comments on this short one!! :)
Melissa
Comment from Theodore McDowell
I love the phrase: sunlight's long fingers
tickle." Great poem for the contest! Not one hundred percent sold on "gurgles" giggles? gleeful? (but then syllables don't fit) In any event, great poem and hope everything is going well. By the way, did Arkansas win its bowl game?
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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I love the phrase: sunlight's long fingers
tickle." Great poem for the contest! Not one hundred percent sold on "gurgles" giggles? gleeful? (but then syllables don't fit) In any event, great poem and hope everything is going well. By the way, did Arkansas win its bowl game?
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thanks so much, Tim. Appreciate your suggestions. Yes, we won the Outback bowl... Hogs vs. Penn St. 24-10. Pigs Sooie!! Razorbacks! :)
Melissa