Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 68 "Football Chapter 40"A mother faces life's struggles.
31 total reviews
Comment from Gert sherwood
Barb
When I read the case was dropped I was revealed ----
Barb, you did so good writing about the court scene.
You have me concerned when I read this---
("I'm waiting for the biopsy results)) before I tell him." She fingered her purse. "If anything happens, I want Gabriel to have full custody of the boys. Can you do that?"
Gert
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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Barb
When I read the case was dropped I was revealed ----
Barb, you did so good writing about the court scene.
You have me concerned when I read this---
("I'm waiting for the biopsy results)) before I tell him." She fingered her purse. "If anything happens, I want Gabriel to have full custody of the boys. Can you do that?"
Gert
Comment Written 02-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the kind review. Katherine has some stuff going on.
Comment from BethShelby
This was excellent and I'm so glad that case is being dropped. I'm sure Katherine is concerned with the results of a biopsy but since I've never been faced with that and I know so many people who have dealt with it and are doing fine, I'm wondering if starting a legal procedure in case it turns our to be cancer isn't a bit premature. Don't most people recover with treatment?
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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This was excellent and I'm so glad that case is being dropped. I'm sure Katherine is concerned with the results of a biopsy but since I've never been faced with that and I know so many people who have dealt with it and are doing fine, I'm wondering if starting a legal procedure in case it turns our to be cancer isn't a bit premature. Don't most people recover with treatment?
Comment Written 02-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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It depends on the person. My former principal just died from breast cancer. I'm a survivor. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sankey
This was a great, very dramatic and detailed chapter. An absolutely great read. The Rileys have certainly been put in their place! So glad you and Ulla turned up with your new chapters. I felt like you might have taken off for New Year or something.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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This was a great, very dramatic and detailed chapter. An absolutely great read. The Rileys have certainly been put in their place! So glad you and Ulla turned up with your new chapters. I felt like you might have taken off for New Year or something.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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Heavens know, I wouldn't leave you in the lurch. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Anne Johnston
Thank you again, for a very interesting chapter. You are so good at moving the story along with dialogue, and everything you write is believable and informative. I like the paragraph where Gabriel gives the advice to the girls about standing up for themselves.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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Thank you again, for a very interesting chapter. You are so good at moving the story along with dialogue, and everything you write is believable and informative. I like the paragraph where Gabriel gives the advice to the girls about standing up for themselves.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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Thank you for saying that. I was worried about putting it in there.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Ulla
This is a wonderful continuation, Barbara. It's so well written. I know about internet. I lost connection earlier on and had to post on my phone. Something I didn't relish and hope never to do again. Fortunately I've got my connection back.
Now, they won the day in court but now the threat of cancer is rearing its ugly face. Deare me.
Pointing at a well-dress gently graying gentleman, = Pointing at a well-dressed
for deformation of character." defamation of character.
I can't wait to reading on. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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This is a wonderful continuation, Barbara. It's so well written. I know about internet. I lost connection earlier on and had to post on my phone. Something I didn't relish and hope never to do again. Fortunately I've got my connection back.
Now, they won the day in court but now the threat of cancer is rearing its ugly face. Deare me.
Pointing at a well-dress gently graying gentleman, = Pointing at a well-dressed
for deformation of character." defamation of character.
I can't wait to reading on. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 02-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the help. I've made the corrections.
Comment from lancellot
This is very well written and edited. Everything reads smoothly. I will say, that there wasn't much tension, because the readers always knew there was never a case or chance of Katherine losing her children. None of that ever made logical sense. Also, a teenage boy with a girly magazine is actually 'normal'. I would reconsider how it is approached in the story.
Notes:
We never discussed it, but I'm sure they took precautions."
- I thought this was an odd thing for him to say, given how responsible he is. Also, it is odd a man would admit he placed all the responsibility on the women, to a a woman.
Katherine hesitated. "I have [ ] doctor's appointment.
- a, or that
How can I help?"
- Either this phrase should be the title of your novel or it is used entirely too much.
Again these are only suggestions. It is your book and your choice.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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This is very well written and edited. Everything reads smoothly. I will say, that there wasn't much tension, because the readers always knew there was never a case or chance of Katherine losing her children. None of that ever made logical sense. Also, a teenage boy with a girly magazine is actually 'normal'. I would reconsider how it is approached in the story.
Notes:
We never discussed it, but I'm sure they took precautions."
- I thought this was an odd thing for him to say, given how responsible he is. Also, it is odd a man would admit he placed all the responsibility on the women, to a a woman.
Katherine hesitated. "I have [ ] doctor's appointment.
- a, or that
How can I help?"
- Either this phrase should be the title of your novel or it is used entirely too much.
Again these are only suggestions. It is your book and your choice.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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I will rethink those areas. One thing by Gabriel's own admissions he was NOT responsible during this pro days.
Comment from royowen
A lot of ground was covered in this great episode. They faced the Rileys who are after the money George left in trust for the boys, but all the bases have been covered, to Katherine's ability as mother, to the care they receive from Gabriel's and Katherine's parents, and even Gabriel's financial position, but now, there is the biopsy for Katherine's suspected breast cancer...? Beautifully written Barbara, blessings Roy
Typo : pointing at well-dress(ed) 2: brochures for different boarding school(s)
3: or to treat you (less)
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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A lot of ground was covered in this great episode. They faced the Rileys who are after the money George left in trust for the boys, but all the bases have been covered, to Katherine's ability as mother, to the care they receive from Gabriel's and Katherine's parents, and even Gabriel's financial position, but now, there is the biopsy for Katherine's suspected breast cancer...? Beautifully written Barbara, blessings Roy
Typo : pointing at well-dress(ed) 2: brochures for different boarding school(s)
3: or to treat you (less)
Comment Written 02-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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Thank you. I have made those corrections. I appreciate your help.
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Most welcome
Comment from Ben Colder
It looks as if the boy turned things in you guys' favor. Let hope for the best for Katherin; she has had her share of troubles. Good one, Barb.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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It looks as if the boy turned things in you guys' favor. Let hope for the best for Katherin; she has had her share of troubles. Good one, Barb.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Begin Again
"I have doctor's appointment
and the Riley's loose,
some you overheard it
I enjoy your story and simply love the interaction between the entire family and how they continue to learn and support each other. It adds some sunshine and possibilities to mine.
Hugs, Carol
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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"I have doctor's appointment
and the Riley's loose,
some you overheard it
I enjoy your story and simply love the interaction between the entire family and how they continue to learn and support each other. It adds some sunshine and possibilities to mine.
Hugs, Carol
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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Thank you for the catches. Those darn little words get me every time.
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It's tiny dots called periods and commas LOL
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LOL Only speech tags get a comma, not action tags.
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tiny dots and commas get me. LOL
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Yay!! I loved this chapter, Barbara, it was perfect. The judge was just right, said and did what judges do, and I loved that the in-laws were put down! Now I'm worried about Katherine and her breast cancer. I do hope she'll be alright. In a way I think it's good to discuss this in a novel, because many women go through it. Do you know what it's like? (sorry if that sounds personal) but I do think you can really work on this. Loved this chapter, my friend. Well done! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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Yay!! I loved this chapter, Barbara, it was perfect. The judge was just right, said and did what judges do, and I loved that the in-laws were put down! Now I'm worried about Katherine and her breast cancer. I do hope she'll be alright. In a way I think it's good to discuss this in a novel, because many women go through it. Do you know what it's like? (sorry if that sounds personal) but I do think you can really work on this. Loved this chapter, my friend. Well done! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 02-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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Yes, I am a breast cancer survivor. I'll be sharing some of my experience and feelings. Some I got from others. Thank you for the kind review.
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My daughter-in-law had to have a double masectomy after having gone through it twice. Apparantly she had the gene, and the op was the only option left. On top of that, she had to have a hysterectomy. She's an amazing lady and I love her to bits. I'm so pleased to hear you are a survivor, and from what I've learned of you, a strong lady, too! xx
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Thank you. I did two different rounds of chemo after 2 surgeries. It had spread farther than they had hoped. Then I did radiation. To be honest, I still look over my shoulder. I have also had cervical cancer, but it was mild. I faced a hysterectomy this summer, but it didn't come down to that.
